


The Gospel Truth

by LoZfanchick



Series: Hercules AU [1]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Disney Fusion, Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Alternate Universe - Hercules (1997) Fusion, BAMF Frigga (Marvel), Jotunn Loki (Marvel), Jotunn | Frost Giant, Kid Loki and Kid Thor (Marvel), Loki & Tony Stark Friendship, Loki (Marvel) Needs a Hug, M/M, Odin (Marvel)'s A+ Parenting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-10
Updated: 2020-05-09
Packaged: 2021-03-02 03:54:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 47,104
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23578747
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LoZfanchick/pseuds/LoZfanchick
Summary: Loki was the last Jotunn in the entire cosmos, he has always known this. What he didn’t know was the truth behind how that came to be.How did Loki come to be the last Jotunn? And how did Thor and Loki end up together? All these questions and more are answered in this tale and that's the gospel truth~~Prequel to The Hercules AUYou do not need to have read the other parts in the series to read this.
Relationships: Loki/Thor
Series: Hercules AU [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1511903
Comments: 50
Kudos: 89





	1. Growing up Jotunn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you have NOT read “The Hercules AU” then **PLEASE READ THIS!** Here is a brief synopsis that should bring you up to speed, I will also use the beg of this fic to do a brief recap as well. So you can read this without reading the whole Hercules AU fic :D
> 
> This is set in a Disney Hercules AU universe. Thor is the god of Thunder and Fertility and Loki is the god of Mischief and the Dead. Tony is a human mortal whose soul was sold to Loki by Howard (Tony was 8 when Howard sold him). Loki, the centaur Rhodey, and the shade Jarvis raised Tony. But he is Loki’s slave and so lives in the underworld with Loki.

In the Realm of the Dead, or the Underworld as it’s also called, the god of the Dead and Mischief Loki finds a rare moment of peace. Lounging in his study in the Palace of Hel, he is enjoying a glass of wine as he reads through a scroll. Upon taking another sip of his wine, Loki lets his eyes flit around the room. The walls were covered in bookshelves and decorations, and in the center of the room was the ritual table. The room also had a fair number of chairs. In one of the chairs pushed into the corner, Loki saw the small human child Tony. His slave.

It was still such an odd thought to the god. Tony had been in the underworld for a few years now. The first year, Tony was 8 years old and petrified. He spent most of his time with his self-proclaimed guardian, the black centaur James Rhodes. And to be honest, during that first year, there were times Loki had forgotten about the mortal. When he’d run into him he’d usually wave the mortal off to go with Rhodey, or have the human play and/or do some menial tasks for his favorite pets -Fenrir and Jörmungandr. Loki had no idea what to do with him. He never meant for Howard Stark to take up his deal. But after Howard did, he couldn’t turn back on his offer. It would deface him. Privately, Loki had a few select plans for Howard Stark’s shade, once the human died again. 

After the first awkward year, Loki and Tony had gotten used to each other. They now had a routine of sorts. Tony would still take care of Loki’s favorite pets and do other menial tasks Loki assigned him. Mostly small things, namely serving the god wine. 

The two’s relationship also developed. Instead of avoiding and dancing around each other, the two now talked and communicated with each other openly. Loki learned Tony was quite smart for a mortal. Tony had a thirst for knowledge, that Loki -privately- admired. He decided to help nurture the human’s potential by giving the mortal access to all his scrolls and readings. And so, Tony and Loki would (when Loki wasn’t pulled away for work) relax in Loki’s private study and each immerse themselves in their readings. 

“No way!” Tony gasped. The child glanced up from his scroll to Loki then quickly looked back at the scroll. “Oh my gods!” Tony began laughing, causing Loki to raise his eyebrow in curiosity.

“What are you reading?” 

Tony looked up from his scroll then gathered it up and walked over to Loki. He then pulled a chair over to the god’s side and held up the scroll. 

“Did you really shave the goddess Sif’s head when you were young?” Tony asked, a smile brimming with amusement on his face. 

Loki huffed out a laugh then felt his chest swell with pride. “Indeed, I did.” 

This caused Tony to break into laughter again. Loki’s own mouth quirked into a smile from the kid’s contagious laughter. 

“That’s amazing!” The mortal complimented. “And all cause she beat you in a fight?” Loki’s smile flitted away at that. “Remind me to never get on your bad side.” Tony laughed.

“Let me see that.” Loki pulled the scroll over and briefly read through the passage. “That’s not why…” Loki muttered as he read. 

“What?” Tony asked, looking from the scroll to the god. 

“I didn’t shave her head because she bested me in a fight.” Loki rolled up the scroll and handed it back to Tony. “That is incorrect. When you finish leave it out so I can look through it and correct any other errors it may contain.” 

The kid took the scroll then put it to the side with a thoughtful look on his face. Before Loki could get back to reading his own scroll Tony asked. 

“Then why did you do it?” 

“You truly want to know?” 

“Yes!” Tony smiled and Loki huffed.

“It was not one thing but a number. You could say I had...reached my threshold.” 

“What did she do?” 

Loki looked at Tony and hesitated before explaining. “You know I am different from the other gods, correct?”

“Well yeah.” The kid shrugged “You’re the only Jotunn. You’re the only Jotunn left in the whole cosmos, right?” 

“Correct.” Loki inclined his head. “All the other immortals and gods are Asgardians. So you can imagine growing up I had some...difficulties fitting in.” Before Tony could ponder or think about that further Loki continued. “Sif was a nuisance and often mocked my heritage. I had warned her she was testing my patience. She didn’t head it.” Loki looked smug and Tony laughed. 

“So you shaved her head?” 

“Technically, I enchanted her pillow. Anyone who slept on that pillow would have lost their hair.” Tony burst out laughing at that.

“So she went to bed with hair and woke up bald?!” 

“Breakfast that next day was quite a lively affair.” Loki smiled and Tony laughed harder. 

After the laughter tampered off, Tony then picked up his scroll and continued reading. Loki did the same with his own scroll. Sometimes Tony would ask Loki if whatever passage he was reading was accurate. And so the evening passed until Tony went off to go feed himself. 

Alone in his study, Loki was writing the corrections into the scroll Tony had been reading. While doing so he couldn’t help but let his mind wander back to his youth. Back to growing up as the only Jotunn in Asgard.

-

Jotunns were not like the gods who lived in Asgard, as the tales told, they were less wise. They were taller creatures with horns sprouting from their heads. Also the elements of the Cosmos were attuned to their very emotions, some could control fire, other earth, ice, etc. Odin was born of a peace between the (at the time) fairly new Asgardian gods and the old Jotunn’s. Bor, Odin’s father, ruled the Asgardian gods and was set to marry the heir to the Jotunn throne. However, King Laufey and his wife -Farbauti- had no heirs to offer Bor. And so Bor had married the next highest unattached heir. A cousin and counselor to the royal Jotunn’s, Bestla. Odin was eventually born from the union and all seemed well but none noticed the burning greed growing in Bestla. 

To have one half of the heavens ruled under her, she questioned why it was limited to only half and not all. And so it was said, she began to plan her take over. She staged a surprise attack at Odin’s engagement party. Odin was set to ask the Jotunn Jord to marry him when Bestla signalled for the attack. Before Odin could do anything Jord was dead, as was Laufey. Farbauti fled with grievous injuries and was presumed dead. Odin was enraged but hid his anger and stewed in it. He had thought he could bide his time and get the Jotunns to rally around him and overthrow his mother. 

However the Jotunn’s, the base-line beings they were, merely embraced their new Queen. They encouraged her conquest of the world and used their ties to the elements to ravage the Earth for her. Odin was alone. But he wasn’t for long, for a great warrior goddess came along, Frigga. Together they forged an army and waged war on Bestla and the Jotunn’s. The Jotunn’s fought to the death to defend their tyrannical queen and would not see reason nor accept the wiser Asgardian way. So, sorrowful as it may seem, they had to cut all the Jotunn’s down till none were left alive. After Odin had defeated Bestla he had taken his throne as King of the cosmos and Frigga became his queen. 

Frigga was heavily pregnant and so was walking around the ice caps of the Earth to try and soothe her aching ankles. Then she stumbled upon a massive glacier. The glacier contained a deceased but frozen Farbauti clutching a frozen but in stasis tiny Jotunn baby, Loki. However, at the time Frigga did not know if both were deceased or alive. 

So the goddess petitioned help from her fellow Asgardians to have the glacier safely transported to Asgard. Once there they slowly began melting the ice. Frigga was there each step. She put up magical protections around the room to ensure no one entered without her knowing and permission. Even her husband Odin needed her permission each time he walked in. 

However the defrosting process was put on hold when Frigga gave birth to her and Odin’s son Thor. Once Frigga felt well enough she began spearheading the defrost again. Eventually it was revealed that Farbauti was in fact deceased, but the baby lived. And so Loki’s life as part of Odin’s family began.

Growing up as the only living Jotunn was not easy, and it was not made any easier to be always surrounded by Asgardians. Asgardians who were so quick to write Loki off as weak, stupid, and untrustworthy. 

As a young child he absolutely hated his blue skin. True his blue skin and red eyes appearance usually only came out when he was too emotional. But sometimes, it just came out. And during those times all the Asgardians -save his family- would jump away from him, would look at him as if he were the ugliest creature they had ever spotted. Loki hated it. And though his mother and brother always said how much they liked his Jotunn form, Loki couldn’t help but always try to repress it. 

When his horns started growing in. Loki felt utter despair. When he first started feeling the little nubs growing from his head, he tried desperately to hide them. He was not yet well versed enough to keep up illusions, so he got very good at styling his hair. But he was overly conscious of his head. Constantly making sure his hair was always just so, concealing the nubs. Turning down trips to the baths or rivers/oceans so as to make sure his nubs stayed hidden. When they continued to grow he began wearing head dressings, hats, and helms of all sorts. That’s when his mother and father intervened and asked what was causing Loki’s new fashion. 

Odin was the first to approach. He told Loki to not hide who he was but instead to stand up for himself. 

“You’re my son. A prince of the gods. If anyone says anything of offense, deal with it as a prince should.” 

So the next day when Loki had tried to go out with a covering Odin had taken it off and smoothed Loki’s head back so the short horns showed through. And yes they were horns now, no longer just nubs. About as tall as a ring finger, so not overly large or pronounced, but still noticeable. Only Jotunns had horns and Loki was tired of being seen as a Jotunn first and everything else second. 

The day did not go well. Thor and his friends had spotted him first. Thor had immediately smiled at his brother and seemed delighted with Loki’s new appendages. However, before the young Jotunn could get too happy about his brother's easy acceptance, Thor’s friends laughed. 

“Are you a goat?” Fandral had chuckled as he circled Loki.

“Nay. Goat’s horns curve. These are growing upright!” Volstagg corrected with a chuckle.

“He’s an antelope.” Sif said with a smile, causing everyone to laugh, even Thor. 

Though his was a light laugh and he threw a companionable smile at Loki. However upon seeing his brother’s red eyes, Thor’s smile immediately dropped. 

“Loki, Loki.” Thor comforted as he grabbed his brother’s shoulders. “We only speak in jest.” 

“Well I don’t think it’s funny!” Loki snapped, yanking himself out of Thor’s grasp. 

His skin began to turn blue as he grew more and more upset. Everyone, except Thor, let out a gasp as Loki’s skin changed. They even jolted back, away from the young immortal. Thor glanced at his friends then back to Loki. Before the blonde could say anything, Loki took off. He turned and ran back into the palace. 

Frigga had found him, hiding in the library. She had tried to tell him he should be proud his horns were coming in. 

“It means you’re growing up my little one!” She beamed but Loki just scoffed and rebuffed her attempts to touch his new appendages. 

“Growing up to be a goat or an antelope!” 

Frigga cupped Loki’s cheeks with both hands and wiped the tears that threatened to fall from his red eyes. She then pulled him into her lap.

“My boy, you are not a goat or an antelope. You are a Jotunn and you -”

“I’d rather be an antelope than a Jotunn.” Loki mumbled miserably. 

“None of that!” Frigga reprimanded harshly, causing her son to jolt in her arms. She then forced Loki to lock eyes with her. “You are the only living Jotunn in the entire cosmos and let me tell you, you should take pride in that.” A look of grief passed over Frigga’s face. “I wish you had met them. I wish you could have-”

“Why?!” Loki burst out, tears spilling over his young eyes now. “Why would I ever want to meet them?! They were stupid! They were traitorous! And I’m not! I’m smart! I’m loyal! I’m-” Loki choked on a sob and Frigga held the sobbing boy closer to her chest. “I’m different!” He sobbed as he clung to his mother.

For a while Frigga just rocked her son and held him close. Allowing him to let his emotions out. After his sobs had abated, Frigga began again. 

“You are different”

“I wish I wasn’t.” Loki mumbled “I wish I was Asgardian.” 

“No Loki.” Frigga comforted and cupped his face. “Never wish to be anything but what you are.” She traced one of Loki’s horns and Loki flinched away in shame. However, Frigga pulled his focus back to her. “The Jotunn’s were not all bad. They created all the realms, all the worlds! Without them there would be no Asgard. You should feel proud that you are part of a race that built the realms, that made the pathways we walk!” Frigga gave her son an encouraging smile. “Asgard would be nothing without your people.”

Loki scoffed and still looked unconvinced. “Asgard would be nothing if “my people” had their way.” 

“Do not think of the war.” Frigga said. “Do not judge an entire race based on their ending, but on their lifetime.” 

Loki scoffed again and Frigga couldn’t fault him. How could her son not judge the Jotunn’s for their ending when that’s what all Asgardians did. Frigga had tried to stop it, but prejudice ran deep and there was only so much she could do. 

“...You interrupted me earlier.” She wiped Loki’s face with part of her dress. “I was going to say you are different. Different from any immortal I have ever met.” Loki looked at his mother and she gave him an encouraging smile. “My boy, you are so smart and cunning. You are skilled and creative. You try so hard and accomplish so much. You are strong and have just begun training.” 

“I’m not strong. Thor’s strong.” Loki pouted.

“There are many types of strength my dear.” She held out her arm and flexed. “Brute strength, your brother does have you beat in.” She then uncurled her arm and held out her hand, upon opening her palm a small flame appeared. “But strength of magic, you have everyone beat. Even me.”

“... I do?” Loki looked at the flame and then his mother. 

“You are tied to the elements of the cosmos as all Jotunns were. You already can manipulate and create ice on a whim.” Loki’s chest puffed up in pride. “And you will only become stronger with more training.” Frigga extinguished the flame and gave him a firm hug. “I know Asgardian spells are difficult for you but you are already making headway, and doing much better than your classmates. With your jotunn blood, magic will be more inclined to you than any others.” 

Loki beamed at his mother and Frigga gestured for him to stand. Once both of them were upright she smoothed her hand over his head and made sure his horns showed through. A look of insecurity flitted onto Loki’s face as his mother did this. 

“You are a jotunn and you should be proud of that. Never forget, without them we would not be here. You being a jotunn is nothing to be ashamed of. And if you ever doubt this then just remember;” Her voice took on a more regal tone as she said “You are Loki Odinson, last son of the Jotunn royal line, and the only living Jotunn...and you are my son.” Loki gave his mother a small smile and Frigga returned it. 

Loki had stopped hiding his horns and for the next few cycles, Thor seemed to act as his bodyguard. He trailed Loki and glared at all who looked to even be glancing at his brother’s head. Loki couldn’t fault his family, they were trying. 

However, they couldn’t control all the Asgardians. And Loki overtime grew used to the looks of disgust and morbid curiosity the others threw his way. He tried to hide his blue form. He got very good at controlling emotions so as to prevent his blue skin and red eyes from bleeding out. But he could do nothing about the horns. And the Asgardians would never be able to hide or change their reactions to proof of Loki’s Jotunn blood. It wasn’t fair, but Loki learned to tune it out, till it was just a dull ache instead of a stabbing pain.

What he was never able to dull out, was his studies. Frigga was correct, Loki was doing much better than any of his classmates. Yet, he had to work twice as hard to get half as much respect as the other young immortals in his classes. No matter how much Loki proved he was intelligent, he was smart; it was disregarded. 

The moment he made a mistake, it was all anyone would discuss. Loki could have gotten 9 spells in a row correct, but if he messed up on the 10th then he was always doomed to fail. 

“Poor little jotunn.”  
“They can’t expect him to actually do anything great.”  
“This was the expected result.” 

They never expected him to succeed, only fail. And so his successes were never celebrated as much as his failures. They had their status quo and no matter how much Loki proved it wrong, they wouldn’t shake it. Especially since he seemed to prove their prejudice’s correct in sparring.

Loki was not a great warrior in terms of weapon combat. That was not to say he was weak, but he wasn’t Thor. Nevermind that Loki would beat other immortals. Since he couldn’t beat Thor the teachers and viewing immortals would all seem to take pride in Thor’s “winning”. 

Loki often felt the war projected onto him and Thor during their sparring sessions. Thor taking on the apparition of their father and Loki of his entire race. And so when Thor won, the immortals went crazy with praise. And the few times Loki managed to win, he was treated to silence with some begrudging cheers.

Except from Thor of course. Who was always ready to pat Loki’s back in comradery and offer praise. But then Thor would leave him and go towards the crowd of people who would shun his brother. Who would openly flinch at the sight of him. 

Who never, **never** gave Loki the respect that they automatically threw at Thor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. So this is how the story will be set up. We’ll get Loki’s current life in Hel and then flashbacks to his past which will reveal our story. 
> 
> 2\. Disclaimer: Listen I appreciate constructive criticism but please do not give it. I know you’re not saying it to be mean or hurtful or whatever but honestly I’ve got a full time job and an extremely busy life so no I haven’t proof-read everything seven hundred times over or wrote this as if it would be published into a novel. There’s gonna be errors and viewpoint changes and some other shit. Please don’t comment on it, I do not have the time to really care/change these things. So I appreciate where you’re coming from but please appreciate where I’m coming from and just read the fanfic I have written in my very sparse free time :)
> 
> 3\. I have it Rated M since the sex scenes aren't super explicit but let me know if you think I should change it.


	2. Faithful Pets

Tony was walking back to the Palace of Hel. Thor had left the other day and so Tony was finally allowed back home. 

Since Thor was not to know of Tony’s existence and Loki owning him. Anytime the god came to visit his lover, Tony was sent to the Monster Village in Hel. There he stayed with his best friend, the centaur Rhodey. Once Thor was good and gone, Loki would either summon him or send an underworld minion to notify Tony it was all clear and he could return home. 

“Ok you need to stop moving.” Tony reprimanded playfully as he tried to glare at the creature wrapped around his neck. 

Jörmungandr lifted his head and raised himself to be eye level with the human child. Tony gave the snake an unimpressed look to which the snake responded by flicking his tongue. Tony let out a huff of laughter and then continued his treck back to the Palace. 

Jörmungandr was afraid and vulnerable to one thing, and that thing was Thor. Thor’s thunder and lightning frightened the snake. And so, when Loki and Thor would get too heated or excited, Jörmungandr would slither over to the Monster Village and stay with Tony. 

Oftentimes this resulted in Tony losing his bed and having to sleep with Rhodey. As anytime he tried to move the snake, the creature would just grow to a size which would be impossible for Tony to lift. And if Tony tried to sleep with the snake. He’d lift Tony up with his coils and deposit the human on the floor or over near the centaur. Very, very rarely did Jörmungandr cuddle with the human. And that was usually because by the time Jörmungandr made it to Monster Village, everyone was already asleep. 

Now instead of deigning to slither back to the Palace, Jörmungandr decided to hitch a ride on Tony by wrapping himself around the human’s neck and shoulders. Tony didn’t mind. He wanted to become closer to the snake, as he was very close to Loki’s other favorite pet Fenrir. However, Jörmungandr was stubborn and seemed to only hold love for Loki. 

As they approached the Palace, Tony could feel Jörmungandr’s anticipation and joy for returning home. The snake began to move more and more, hissing and his head bobbing in excitement. Tony laughed and tried to pet the snake's head but Jörmungandr only flinched away and glared at the human.

“Oh come on!” Tony cried in exasperation. “I thought we bonded!” 

Jörmungandr only flicked his tongue out then seemed to gesture for Tony to keep moving. Tony scoffed and mumbled insults under his breath as they entered the Throne Room. 

In the Throne Room, upon his throne, sat Loki. Loki was in one of his usual outfits. Long harem style pants with gold trim and embroidery. His chest was bare save for some gold jewelry (and love bites), which matched the gold hoops that were through his ears. 

Jörmungandr quickly slithered down Tony’s body and darted to Loki. Loki smiled and extended his foot. Jörmungandr immediately slithered up it and the arm Loki had offered. 

Tony could only chuckle as he watched Jörmungandr wrap himself around Loki’s arm, neck, and horns. Once the snake seemed comfortable, he almost seemed to purr. 

“Can you guess who missed you?” Tony teased and Loki rolled his eyes as he stroked his snake’s body. 

“Well good news, I was able to clean his fangs while in the Monster Village so that should last for a few months.” Loki smiled at his pet then at Tony.

“Very good.” 

“Thanks.” Tony beamed with pride.

Loki smirked at the brunette and let the human have his moment of victory. Jörmungandr was always so difficult when it came to his cleaning and care. But after 30 seconds, Loki decided time was up. With a teasing smirk Loki asked.

“So what did you do to Fenrir?” 

Tony’s smile immediately dropped and he let out a nervous chuckle. “Wh-what do you mean?” 

The god gave the human a deadpan look. “I mean the mud.” 

The kid hung his head in defeat and gave the god a sheepish look. “So he didn’t clean himself, huh?”

“No he did not.” 

Tony let out a long sigh and made to go towards the door leading to the Palace’s inner chambers. “I’ll get ready to give him a bath.” He grumbled.

“Honestly, what did you do?” Loki asked, leaning his chin on the one arm propped up on his armrest.

“We were playing a game and I tried to tell him to avoid the mud puddles but…” Tony tampered off and grimaced. Loki also grimaced then shook his head. 

“He’s in his room, I locked him in there so he didn’t dirty anything else.” 

Tony gave a wave and then walked through the door, leaving the Throne Room. Jörmungandr let out a hiss and Loki chuckled as he stroked the snake's head.

“I know.” He agreed. “Getting so dirty and for what?” Loki said and the snake seemed to scoff “Childish.” 

Jörmungandr lowered his head so Loki could better pet him and the god smiled. “Did you have fun with Tony?” The snake seemed unimpressed and Loki chuckled again. “My picky pet.” He cooed then kissed the top of the snake's head. 

Loki loved his pets. Truthfully he wasn’t even that annoyed about Fenrir being dirty. Fenrir had always been more of a free spirited animal. And he and Tony got along very well. Fenrir would oftentimes let Tony ride him, which was something that took Loki years to earn. Jörmungandr however, has always been abrasive and prickly. Loki never minded it, as he too shared those characteristics. But watching Jörmungandr ride around Tony’s neck made the god happy. True Jörmungandr seemed to have just been tolerating the human, but it’s better than biting him like he used to. 

_’Progress’_ Loki thought. 

\- 

Growing up Loki had pondered if he would be given the title god of Animals; as he spent more time and enjoyed himself more, in the company of animals. While the other immortals all judged Loki as a Jotunn first and foremost, the animals of the cosmos never did. They didn’t care he was Jotunn, didn’t care he was the last Jotunn. They were easy and Loki took comfort in their company.

First it was Odin’s horse, the eight legged Sleipnir. A magnificent steed. Odin had shown his two young sons the stables for the first time in their memory and Sleipnir stood so impressive and extraordinary. Both boys begged to ride the creature but Odin and Frigga both said they were too young. 

Later Thor and him had snuck into the stables. And though they couldn’t figure out how to even try and ride the magnificent horse, they did manage to feed him apples and carrots. 

They had snuck out to see and hang out with Sleipnir for many a night. Eventually they were taught how to brush his coat, tail, and mane. And Odin would let them each have a turn riding on his lap as he rode the great horse. 

When they became of age to ride a horse on their own, they were still not allowed to ride Sleipnir. For Sleipnir was a horse only a King could ride. As they grew up, Thor grew out of the habit of sneaking out to give the horse treats.

“We can give them to him tomorrow Loki, there is no need to go out in the dead of night.” 

Loki tried not to feel hurt that Thor was cutting off a tradition of theirs. 

Loki would still go. He found the thrill of sneaking out exciting. In the quiet of the stables, he would pat the horses that he awoke and then would go into Sleipnir’s pen. He’d give the horse some treats and then brush him for a time. Some nights, he even mounted the horse. He didn’t ride him, only sat upon the steeds back. But Sleipnir didn’t seem to mind. And the Jotunn was sure if he opened the pen Sleipnir would let him ride him. But he didn’t push it.

He did ride Sleipnir once. In a show of spite. He still remembers how victorious he felt as he rode with ease upon the horses back. 

There were other creatures Loki had grown close to. He had quite a few birds he’d call his own. Though he never kept them in cages, only fed them when he saw them and would nod in acknowledgement at them. Another example was the winged horse of Brunnhilde. However she never let Loki get too close to her horse. She always made sure she was present when the Jotunn spent time with her pet. 

Jörmungandr actually entered Loki’s life by accident. He and Thor were young, old enough to go out on their own but young enough that mortals would mistake them for preteen children if Loki wore a hat or covering. Thor and him had traveled to Midgard or the Land of the Living as most called it. They were playing in a Northern ocean. They were competing to see who could dive the deepest. From atop the ice raft Loki had created, they jumped at the same time and both swam as far down as they could before turning back for air. Loki had lost, turning back first and seeing Thor was deeper than him. Yet Thor had come out of the water quicker and had yanked Loki up and onto the ice float as quickly as possible. Before Loki could ask why he had turned back, Thor jabbed a finger at the water.

“There’s something down there!” The blonde shouted in excitement. 

“What? Fish?” 

“No not fish!” Thor shot back then shook his head and tied his blonde hair back into a ponytail. “I mean, yes fish are down there. But no, there’s something else! And we’re going to get it!” He cheered in excitement as he grabbed Loki’s shoulders. 

And so Thor dove in again, Loki following behind him. It turned out, Thor was right! Something was down in the ocean’s depths. A serpent. It at first swam away from them, but after they both kept diving in and trying to coax it closer, the serpent’s curiosity won out and it followed them to the surface. Thor and Loki had played with the creature the rest of the day. Then they had brought it back to Asgard. And that was that. Jörmungandr had never left their side since that day. 

However, once Thor’s affinity for thunder and lightning manifested, Jörmungandr began to shy away from the blonde. Thor had been so upset. And Loki had tried to get the snake to be close to Thor. However, every time he tried, the snake merely wrapped itself tighter around Loki or slithered away. Loki would feel guilty after each time Thor would leave Jörmungandr, the blonde’s face covered in obvious disappointment. 

It would not be the last time Thor was let down by a pet he and Loki once called theirs. 

Thor and Loki had just started attending the gods council meetings. They would sit beside their parents' thrones and listen to the gods and immortals come forward with their complaints and requests. Odin, Frigga and some other selected gods would then debate over what was to be done. Ultimately, Odin would have final say and announce his answer regarding the complaint/request. It was tedious but a necessary process when one ruled all the realms as the Asgardians, or more specifically, Odin did. 

During one of these meetings, two immortals brought forward a chained puppy. The puppy was so small, the top of his head would only reach the gods knees. And the Odinsons could not hold back their gasps at the sight of the bound pup. 

The immortals then explained that this creature that appeared as a puppy now was no ordinary wolf pup. Indeed it was a monster. A creature of the cosmos. 

That had gained many gasps and more than a few immortals present glanced at Loki then went about into whispers. Loki had to grit his teeth in annoyance and frustration but other than that didn’t let anything show. 

Long ago the creatures of the cosmos had a realm all their own. However, during the War the Jotunns had either thrown open the portals to the other realms in order to create more chaos or slammed them shut. The realm containing the various beasts, monsters, and creatures of the cosmos was thrown wide open and so the animals were able to venture into each realm; Midgard, Asgard, Hel, etc. Jörmungandr was surely one such creature, and Loki was certain so was Sleipnir. 

Loki knew the other immortals glanced at him as if he had any part in that decision. To fling open the realm of monsters. He didn’t, but he was Jotunn and to them that was enough to justify placing the blame at least partially on him. 

“So?” Thor had questioned boldly. Loki had to bite back a smile, as the blonde always did take the direct approach, nevermind courtly etiquette. “You cannot damn a creature just for existing. That’s madness!” 

Odin raised a hand to silence Thor but the young Asgardian just glanced at Odin before glaring at the immortals again. The two immortals waited a breath then began to explain.

They had captured this wolf pup as it was running and chasing the sun. No matter what they did to try and deter the creature, it kept up it’s pursuit. Finally they had to capture it in order to stop the wolf from devouring the sun, as it had gotten quite close to its goal.

“We petition this creature be put down immediately.” The quieter immortal stated.

“No!” Loki blurted out. Frigga and Odin sent a look Loki’s way but Thor nodded in agreement with his brother. 

“I agree, we can’t.” Thor boomed, trying to sound like their Father did when making his final announcements. 

“Children,” Odin said in his warning tone. 

“Father,” Loki tried to reason. “He’s so young, look at him he’s just a puppy.”

“He probably didn’t know any better.” Thor added.

“He almost ate the sun.” Tyr, the god of War and Justice said standing from his seat. 

“I think the young princes do not understand how dangerous this beast is.” One of the immortals who brought the wolf in said. “It may look small now but it can change its size on a whim. It only doesn’t now, as we have it trapped.” He pulled on the chain in his hand indicating it was ensorcelled to keep the wolf at its current size. 

“I’m sure it put up quite a fight.” Loki said sarcastically and Frigga covered her face with one hand as Odin sent Loki a warning glare.

“Our pet snake changes sizes at whim as well.” Thor smiled haughtily. “Perhaps you simply cannot handle such a beast.” 

“Thor!” Both his parents reprimanded but the young prince didn’t look cowed. 

“Mother, Father,” Loki said quickly in order to get their attention. “Let us have the wolf pup.” 

“Yes!” Thor radiated happiness at that suggestion. 

“We will take care of it! Teach it right from wrong!”

“Make sure it doesn’t eat the sun?” Tyr threw in sarcastically but Loki rolled with it and nodded.

“Yes.” Loki turned his attention back to his parents. “We can handle it.”

“Yeah! Jörmungandr already changes sizes at will and we take care of him!” Thor added.

“Please Mother, Father!” Loki pleaded putting on his most innocent and desperate face. Thor quickly copied and also offered his parents pleas. 

Frigga looked between her two boys then at the sad looking pup. Letting out a breath she huffed a smile and then turned to Odin with an indulgent look in her eyes. Odin looked at his wife and sons then let out a defeated sigh. 

“The wolf will be given to my sons.” Odin boomed and both Loki and Thor cheered in victory. “However,” Odin turned and gave both boys a stern look. “If the wolf tries to eat the sun again, then he will be destroyed.” Both Thor and Loki looked stricken but nodded in understanding.

Later the wolf was brought to an enclosed room where Thor and Loki greeted it. It took some time but after a while the young immortals were able to gain the wolf’s trust and they named him Fenrir. Surprisingly, or perhaps unsurprisingly, Fenrir and Jörmungandr got along quite well together. It took them no time at all to learn how to act around each other. 

And eventually the young wolf became a constant companion to the brothers. Thor would wrestle with Fenrir while Loki and Jörmungandr would watch. Jörmungandr would grow and allow the young gods to climb on top of him and carry them to and fro. Fenrir, however, had an issue with giving them rides. He could grow to the point of being able to carry them but simply wouldn’t allow it. Eventually the wolf did. But it was only after Fenrir was on a walk with Loki and spotted Thor riding a carriage pulled by 2 goats. Loki believed Fenrir grew jealous and thus started allowing the two princes to ride him. 

Fenrir didn’t mind Thor after his lightning and thunder manifested, unlike Jörmungandr. But over time he too began to grow distant from the blonde god. Though Loki couldn’t and wouldn’t fault Fenrir for that. Thor was the one who left them.

Thor spent less and less time with Loki and their pets, and more time with his friends or whatever creature he was copulating with. Jörmungandr already shied away from the blonde prince and clearly favored Loki but Fenrir held out for a while. But Thor left so often and frequently. It was no surprise that Fenrir grew to favor the one that stayed, and disregard the one who disregarded him. 

The divide was made clear after Thor had returned from a long stint galavanting across the realms with his friends: Fandral, Sif, Hogun, and Volstagg. Thor had returned to the Palace and when he entered the common room Loki was curled up in, he called out to the wolf. However, Fenrir seemed unmotivated to leave his comfy curl besides Loki. Thor had walked closer and cooed for Fenrir to come greet him. 

Only upon Loki’s insistence did Fenrir slowly rise and give Thor a lazy greeting. Loki remembered vividly the downfall of Thor’s face, the disappointment. It was like Jörmungandr all over again. But Thor covered it quickly, never one to stay melancholy. 

“I suppose it makes sense he favors you.” 

“He’s just tired.” Loki lied, but it was a weak one and they all knew it.

Thor let out a small smile anyway. “You’ve always had a way with animals.” 

“I’ve just been there for them.” Loki defended himself, some accusation in his tone. “I didn’t leave.” Thor bristled at that but before he could say anything Fandral waltzed over and threw an arm around Thor’s shoulders. 

“I think Loki has an unfair advantage.” He gave a cheesy, over the top smile. “After all he is part animal himself!” Fandral then threw his hands over his head creating makeshift horns meant to imitate the tall horns Loki had. 

This caused everyone to laugh, save Loki and Sif. Loki pointedly turned back to the scroll he was reading. Meanwhile Volstagg and Fandral started talking about the quest they just returned from and guided Thor out of the room with Hogun following after them. 

Feeling eyes on him, Loki looked up and found Sif glaring at him. 

“You had to take Fenrir from him too.” It was not a question but an accusation. Anger radiated off her form and it only caused Loki’s hackles to rise.

“I did not do anything.” 

“You turned Jörmungandr away from him and now Fenrir. Do you feel no guilt for the sadness and suffering you cause him?”

“I did nothing!” Loki spat. “I simply took care of my pets while Thor ran off with you on your stupid quests.” Sif’s shoulders squared up and Loki could tell an argument was about to ensue and he was in no mood. “Think what you want. It changes nothing.” Loki then pointedly held the scroll up. 

He heard Sif let out a growl, which Fenrir responded to by letting out a growl of his own and Jörmungandr uncoiled himself from Loki’s feet and hissed. Loki smiled as he heard the goddess leave. Glancing at his pets he felt pride at their defense of him.

But she wasn’t completely wrong. He did feel guilty. 

However the guilt was twofold. He felt bad that Thor was so thoroughly rejected by their beloved pets. After all they did raise the pets together, in the beginning anyway. And he felt guilt over the fact that he was happy he was their favorite. 

All of Asgard loved his brother. They threw respect at him, even when he was on his worst behaviour. Loki had to constantly be on his best behaviour and even then he was not shown the love and respect Thor received. But the animals, Sleipnir, Jörmungandr, and Fenrir all favored Loki. They chose him, they loved him more than Thor.


	3. Past Partners

“You can come out now.” Loki called as he entered the room Tony and Rhodey were currently stashed away in. 

A minion from Asgard had come to Hel to inform Loki of Thor’s next upcoming visit. When word of the minion arriving in Hel reached Loki, he had Rhodey take Tony to hide. Now that the minion was gone Tony was free to come out of hiding. 

Generally it wouldn’t be too inconsequential if an Asgardian minion saw Tony. Asgardian minions were like Hel’s minions, they had their purposes and would only do what that purpose was. So fear of any repercussions from them discovering Tony was null. However, Loki would rather be overly cautious than not. 

“So when can we expect Thor to be here?’ Rhodey asked not moving from his lounging position on the various cushions and pillows he had laid himself on. 

“In 15 days.” The god glanced around the sitting room and noticed a lack of human. “...Where is Tony?” 

“Gotcha!” Tony screamed as he sprung from behind the door and grabbed onto Loki’s waist.

Loki jolted at the sudden scream and grab, and only just restrained himself from launching some form of magic at the kid. 

“Anthony!” 

Loki’s eyes turned red as he glared at the now pouting child still holding onto him. In the background Rhodey was laughing hysterically as said child let go and grumbled in disappointment. 

“I thought I could turn you blue.” 

Loki glared at Tony as the kid walked dejectedly over to the still laughing centaur. 

“Your face!” The centaur laughed. 

Loki’s glare slid over to him but then quickly went back to Tony when he heard the human let out a laugh. A smirk then bloomed on the god’s face as the red receded from his eyes. He then created two snowballs in his hands. Both Rhodey and Tony’s laughter was abruptly cut off as Loki threw the snowballs at their faces. When the both of them wiped the snow from their faces and glared at the god, Loki just gave them a haughty smirk. 

“Alright,” Rhodey cleared the stray snow off his face and tried helping Tony but the kid batted his hands away. “So, 15 days?” 

“Yes.” Loki went over to his one armed couch and made himself comfortable. “Thor will be here in 15 days.” 

“Well then I’ll come pick Tony up in 10. That way if Thor miscounts the days like last time we won’t have to sneak him out again.” 

Thor, like most gods and immortals, had difficulty keeping track of time. They can tell when seasons have passed but the passage of time is different for them than it is for humans and other mortal creatures. Years are tracked but not felt, days are such a small increment of measure that it’s only taken into account sparingly. Loki, however, had felt time acutely since becoming god of the Dead. So when Tony came it wasn’t that hard an adjustment to start measuring time with mortal standards. 

“That was fun.” Tony reminisced with a smile.

“No it was not!” Both Rhodey and Loki responded, causing the brunette to pout. 

Loki and Rhodey then discussed the pick up and drop off plan some more while Tony let his mind wander. Finally Tony came back to the conversation when Loki and Rhodey seemed to have finished.

“Hey Loki,” Tony moved closer to the lounging god. “Have you and Thor always been lovers?” 

The god gave the mortal a questioning look and Tony elaborated.

“I mean us humans are taught that you and Lord Thor are lovers, but have you always been?” The human looked genuinely curious as he moved Loki’s legs over so he could take a seat on the couch. “You grew up together right? Were you childhood sweethearts?” Before Loki could respond the kid rolled out more questions. “Have you two always, only been with each other? You never went on dates with anyone else?” 

“I never claimed that!” Loki sat upright, his tone mildly offended. 

“So you did go out with others?” Tony’s eyes sparkled as he continued to hound the god with questions. “Who? Are they gods? Isn’t that awkward?” 

Loki made a sound of exasperation but before he could say anything else he saw Rhodey’s arm wrap around Tony and pick the child up. Tony squawked but otherwise didn’t fight the centaur picking him up and sliding him onto his horse back. 

“Ok! That’s enough out of you.” The centaur declared. 

“I didn’t even get any answers!” Tony complained. The centaur bowed his head to the god who only gave the centaur a small tilt of his head in return. Rhodey then straightened up and gave Tony a look over his shoulder.

“You don’t need to know.” 

“I know I don’t need to, but I want to know!” 

“That’s too bad. Now come on, we haven’t eaten lunch.” With that Rhodey and Tony left the room, though not without Tony throwing a pleading look back towards the god.

Loki knew that look, it was Tony’s thirst for knowledge look. The kid had an unquenchable desire for knowledge of things. And unlike others Loki knew, Tony didn’t seek knowledge out to use as a weapon but just to have. The human was fascinated by everything and seemed to want to take the world apart just so he could put it back together after discovering how it all connected. 

_‘Perhaps I will tell him of my past lovers.’_ Loki mused in his head as he once again let himself get comfortable. However, before the god could fully relax an Underworld minion was at the door requesting the god's assistance. The god groaned but followed the minion to the problem. On the way, he let his mind wander back towards his and Thor’s past. 

-

Loki and Thor were not childhood sweethearts. They were raised together and treated each other as friends and brothers more than anything else. But childhood sweethearts, surely not. 

Thor had more than earned his title god of Fertility, and it wasn’t by gardening. Thor would stick his cock in anything that would allow him entry. He was also open to others sticking their cocks into him. However none of them were ever serious. Thor would float to and fro, jumping from lover to lover. Thor had even laid with Sif, the goddess of War, several times. 

Loki could tell she wanted more, most of Asgard could tell she wanted more. However Thor was not one to give that. Sif had thought herself different, though Loki never understood why. She had watched Thor bed and be bedded by humans, creatures, and immortals alike. She had known Thor simply enjoyed the bed play and then thought nothing but friendship with his partners afterwards. Yet time after time she would fall into bed or pull Thor into her bed and act shocked and hurt when Thor brushed off any questions of relationship or stating claims on one another. Loki never understood why Sif had such a difficult time with the truth. He had even tried helping her, stating point blank, Thor did not do relationships. But she disregarded his advice and so he felt no pity for the goddess. Though eventually the message was received as she stopped sleeping with Thor, refusing him when he asked for a dalliance. Perhaps she thought it would provoke the blonde, but it did not. Thor simply did not do relationships. 

Loki, however, fell into relationships. He wasn’t always good at them, and there were plenty of times where he also just slept with his partners and then left. But more often than not he would have relationships. Thor would boggle at him for spending so much time with one creature instead of tasting and drifting around the world and realms like he did. 

Loki’s first relationship was with a human girl named Sigyn. If there was one word to describe Sigyn it would be loyal. She was kind, compassionate, and very pure hearted, but most of all loyal. Loki had been young, they both had been. 

He had just stopped hiding his horns but was still conscious of them. It was hard not to be when every creature in the cosmos -Asgardians and humans alike- would stare at them. 

Thor, Loki, and Thor’s friends travelled to the Land of Living / Midgard in order to play around. They had not been titled gods yet, but they wanted to go play at being gods with the mortals. Receive tribute, bask in their praise, etc. Thor and his friends often enjoyed showing off their power and impressing the humans. Loki found it better to play up the anonymity for more creative purposes. Namely, he enjoyed pranking the humans. However, that became harder to do with his horns. One could not play the role of a normal human child when they had horns growing from their head (at least not without maintaining an illusion or wearing a covering of some form). And so, during this visit to Midgard, Loki joined Thor and his friends in showing off and playing at being titled a god. 

Sigyn had called them out. She knew the gods and had even rattled them off for all the people gathered, then loudly labelled Loki and the others liars.

Volstagg had rebutted that if they were not gods how could they survive this? And then he proceeded to crack several barrels over his head and show that there was not a scratch on him. It was a weak defense. And Hogun had done better, shoving Loki to the front and announcing how he was the last Jotunn alive and would verify their testament to being gods. Loki had glared at Hogun and then decided to upend their plans.

“I am Loki Odinson, last son of the Jotunn royal line, and the only living Jotunn! And you mortal woman…” He held her gaze which was defiant and stubborn, and made Loki smile “You speak truthfully, we are not gods, merely immortals.” Sigyn looked shocked he sided with her yet happy. Meanwhile Thor and his friends looked comically betrayed, but the raven haired immortal paid them no mind. “Might I have a moment of your time?” He extended his hand to Sigyn.

It was much longer than a moment, they had walked and talked and generally bonded over several things. It was her loyalty to those actually titled gods that gave her the bravery to speak out against him and his friends. Loki was impressed with her. And so their relationship began. Loki would come visit her village often and the two would talk and get to know each other more and more. She had loved his horns. During some of their picnics, she’d ask him to lay his head in her lap so she could trail her fingers through his hair and around his horns. Sometimes she’d thread flowers through his hair and he would in turn do the same for her. It was just what Loki needed. 

She was what Loki needed. She was the best of humanity. Kind and selfless, smart and witty. And she was loyal to Loki. She had turned down many men who seeked to get to know the woman who turned an immortal’s head. But it was not to last. She grew up in mind and body, while Loki’s body did not. True his mind grew and contained more knowledge than a human could ever hope to grasp but they both knew their time was drawing to an end. But ever loyal, Sigyn never married. If she had actual lovers Loki did not know. For Sigyn and him had only ever kissed and made out, but never consummated. But he continued to visit her up until her dying day. 

She was the best human Loki had ever met. And perhaps it was because she raised the bar so high that every other human or group of humans Loki met after, fell utterly short and made Loki believe the worst in them. Thor always saw the best in humanity. Their creativity, tenacity, social structures/concepts. Thor thought them grand, but Loki thought them dull. 

Loki saw dull creatures that could never seem to stop fighting with each other, and over the most ridiculous of squabbles. He thought their creativity childish and their tenacity annoying. However, he enjoyed how predictable they could be and often used it to his advantage. For just as Thor earned his title god of Fertility, it was fair to say Loki also earned his title god of Mischief. 

He enjoyed watching his plans and schemes come to fruition and the chaos it created for the human and mortal creatures. And so, it shouldn’t be a surprise that his next major relationship was with a human that also enjoyed sowing chaos. Though Loki would not claim there was any love in this relationship, mostly it was fun and enjoyable for both him and the human. 

The human was a ruler, a King of sorts. He had absolute power over his land and ruled with an iron fist. Loki could never recall his name but mostly because he called the human by the nickname “Doom”. Together, Loki and Doom had created such chaos. It was glorious! Loki enjoyed their bedplay almost as much as he enjoyed their strategizing. Loki would help Doom in overtaking lands and spreading his control, not directly of course. However, Loki knew how humans thought and would help Doom in his battle plans. In return, many temples/shrines to Loki had been built in Doom’s empire. And after winning battles, the sex would be amazing. 

Doom had been fun. He was freeing. Loki didn’t have to try to be perfect, to represent the Jotunn race, to be the image of an unflappable god. He was Loki, lover of mischief. Being with Doom allowed Loki to feel free of the invisible chains he had carried for so long he had forgotten how heavy they actually were. So when Doom died in battle, Loki had been upset. His freedom, his fun, his lover were all wiped out in one swing of a sword. 

After Doom died the chains were back and Loki felt their weight with acute awareness. Perhaps they would be lighter if Loki had someone to vent to, to talk to, but nay; he did not. The only one who he could talk to and who would possibly understand was Frigga. But one could not always run to their mother to complain, to unload their issues. A mother’s boy he may be, but he would not do anything to draw even more insults towards himself. 

Loki had used to try and talk with Thor about the things that weighed on him, but it was for naught. Just as Loki and Thor’s pet’s drifted away from Thor, so to did Thor drift away from Loki. 

In their youth they were the best of friends. Thor was his defender and Loki was his problem solver. Loki helped get Thor out of trouble, and Thor defended him when he needed it (like when his horns first appeared).

However, over time, Thor stopped being his defender. It was gradual but not less obvious. Firstly, Thor would spend more and more time with his friends than with Loki. He would invite Loki on their outings and sometimes Loki would join, other times he’d turn them down. It was fair to say, Loki turned them down more often than accepting. But Loki reasoned if it was just him and Thor he would go. However, since it was always Thor and company, he would refuse. Thor’s friends were not Loki’s. 

They were not mean, but they were not always kind. Sif always treated Loki as if he was only a few small steps from attacking them. Her guard was always up around him. He knew it was because she believed he (a Jotunn) would turn against them the moment he was given the opportunity. Loki had even told Thor this a few time, but Thor did not believe him. 

“She is always on guard.”  
“She’s the goddess of war of course she’s on guard.”  
“That is just Sif’s way.” 

Everytime Loki would bring his grievance, Thor would dismiss it. But Loki knew he was right, for she was never so guarded when Loki was absent. 

The warriors three -Volstagg, Fandral, and Hogun- there were an odd mix. Never outright mean but hurtful in other ways. They never ran out of insults for Loki, but they would always say they were merely jests. But who gave them the right to jest about such matters? Loki surely never did. Yet they made them anyway. About his horns, his eyes, skin, skill, looks, anything! They would be ready with a barb that always found it’s mark though Loki learned to never let it show. And again Thor dismissed these insults as jokes. 

“They don’t mean it.”  
“They are just jests Loki, jests!”  
“Don’t be so sensitive, they’re just joking.” 

In fairness to them, when Loki snapped at them to stop mocking his ice powers they had. Though whether this was because Loki had actually asked them to stop or because they all jumped back in fear at seeing him in his blue and red eyed skin, Loki can’t say. But he thought the latter had more to do with it. As anytime Loki’s other appearance leaked through, the three would shut up and eye him wearily. 

So Thor stopped defending him from his friends and took their side over his. Loki almost expected that after Thor had stopped inviting Loki on their adventures. But he was even more hurt when Thor would completely dismiss his other concerns. 

When Loki would try and talk about how oppressive it felt to be the only Jotunn, about how the other Asgardians looked at him and treated him; Thor would brush it off. 

“It’s in your head.”  
“You are drawing attention to it Loki.”  
“You are creating a mountain out of imagined slights.” 

Perhaps Thor was too caught up in the love and respect he received. Too swayed by the Asgardians affections he saw to notice the lack of said love and respect Loki was shown. Perhaps it was too hard for Thor to see the Asgardians that were so kind to him, were the same ones Loki described as being hurtful and derisive. 

That was how Loki justified it. Thor was too stupid and blind to see what was in front of him. Thor was not alone in this, Odin was the same and so that made it easier to excuse but lonelier to deal with. 

And lonely was what Loki often felt after Doom. He wanted something. He wanted to feel like it was OK to be just him again. Like he didn’t have to walk on eggshells. Like he was free to change forms and not be asked to change back or be shied away from. He wanted someone on his side. Someone to tell everyone to leave him alone. To stop blaming him for things he was never a part of. To stop judging him as a Jotunn first. He wanted a defender again.

So Loki had sought Thor out. Asking if Thor would join him on outings, realm travels, research trips. But Thor would often turn him down. He had storms to shepherd, responsibilities to attend to. 

What hurt the most was seeing Thor travel with the Warriors Three and Sif only a season after Loki had asked Thor to travel with him. Never one to back away from a fight, especially with Thor, Loki had confronted him. Following after them, Loki demanded to know why Thor had turned his outing down only to go on one without him. Thor had defended himself saying this was planned years in advance and that Loki was welcome to join. Loki had but felt bitter and more lonely than before, even while surrounded by others. 

It was a low point in Loki’s life; but it was followed by a period of brief utter happiness that then led Loki to an even lower point. The brief utter happiness was due to Svadilfari. 

Loki loved Sigyn. He didn’t love Doom. He loved the freedom and excitement of being with Doom, but not the man. Then, Loki loved Svadilfari.

Svadilfari was a centaur. His horse body had black hair, with a long braided brown tail. His human half was olive skinned. His hair was brown and long; longer than Loki’s and the gods hair had trailed past his shoulder blades at this point. Svadilfari’s hair was so long, the braid it was always woven into hung past his horse back and would rest just above his legs. He also had a full beard and connecting mustache that was trimmed neatly. He had a square jaw line which his beard covered, and his body was covered in tattoos. He was also very muscular, not just the horse half but his human half was also well built. 

Loki was venting his frustrations with...well everything. In his blue skin and red eyes Loki was shooting ice and demolishing any trees or rocks his fists hit. He was apparently causing such a commotion that Svadilfari came to see what the cause was. Upon finding him, Svadilfari had just stared at Loki and Loki, after noticing the centaurs presence, had just glared at him.

“What?!” Loki snapped but the centaur only racked his eyes up and down Loki’s form again. 

“You’re...wow.” He breathed. 

Loki rolled his eyes and let out a scream of frustration. “Yes! I’m The Jotunn! How astute!” 

“Hey now,” The centaur now looked offended. “No need for insults. I’ve just never seen anything like you.” He inclined his head and rolled his human shoulders. “And I’ve been all over.” Loki rolled his eyes again. “And I don’t know what a Jotunn is so…” That immediately got the gods attention.

“You don’t know what a Jotunn is?” He asked in a tone that screamed he did not believe the centaur. But Svadilfari just shook his head in the negative. “The Allspeak should translate it into whatever word you know it as.” He muttered to himself before directing his attention back to the centaur and gesturing to himself. “I am Loki Odinson, last son of the Jotunn royal line, the only living Jotunn, and the god of Mischief….does any of that sound familiar?” Svadilfari just shook his head in the negative again. “...Truely?” 

“Sorry, I don’t know anything about you.” The centaur shrugged then put on a flirtatious face. “But I’d like to.” Loki scoffed in disbelief but the centaur seemed unfazed. “I’m Svadilfari.” He held out his hand to Loki who after looking the centaur over, grabbed it. 

The centaur and the Jotunn then continued talking. Svadilfari asked what Loki was doing and in a fit of uncharacteristic honesty Loki spat out 

“Just taking out the frustration of being a Jotunn first and foremost for everything!” 

“And that’s bad?” The centaur drawled but then quickly jolted to attention when the god turned his fury onto him.

“How would you like to be judged for things you did not do! To be seen as stupid and weak just because of your biology! To work harder than anyone around you but earn half the respect! And then have no one! NO ONE! Believe you! And so you have no one! You cannot show weakness for they’ll use it against you but you’re tired…. **so tired!** ” Loki quickly swerved his body around to hide the tears of frustration that he was staving off. He had not meant to go off like that, but he supposed he could not keep it inside any longer. 

“Wow…” Svadilfari slowly walked over to Loki. “You’ve got a lot going on.” He was standing behind the god now, but Loki resolutely did not look at him, embarrassed by his outburst.

“...Ignore me. Begone!” Loki waved a dismissive hand at the centaur. “I do not want company.” 

“Yeah? But you need it.” Svadilfari responded not moving. Loki glanced at him then. “Come on Loki, let’s get comfortable.” Svadilfari then tilted his head and gestured with his arms for the god to follow him. 

With little reluctance Loki followed the centaur. Eventually the two settled into comfortable positions and got to talking. Loki didn’t seem inclined to discuss anything more about himself so Svadilfari rambled on about his own life. 

His tattoos were from all over the world. He liked to decorate his body with memories of where he had been. He spoke of the reactions he would get from humans. Some knew of centaurs and only reacted oddly since he was a roaming centaur rather than a guardian (like most of his kind were). 

“Centaurs are natural protectors, so most pick or inherit a spot or whatever to protect and guard it for life.” 

“Never found anything to protect?” Loki teased in a playful tone.

“Never wanted to stay tied down.” 

However, some humans had never even heard of centaurs and so were shocked beyond words by him. Loki laughed at the retellings of the shocked humans. Svadilfari then told tales about his exploits, the things he had seen and experienced. 

“And throughout all your travels you never heard of Lord Loki the last Jotunn?” Loki asked, and Svadilfari shrugged.

“I’m not big on religion.” He said and Loki boggled at him. 

From there on Loki and Svadilfari spent a lot of time together. Though whenever the centaur tried asking about Loki, the god would shut down or diverge the conversation. Loki had felt he said enough about himself in his earlier outburst and didn’t wish to divulge more. But to Svadilfari’s credit, he never commented on Loki’s skin and eyes changing back to pale and green. Eventually, during one of Svadilfari’s stories, Loki had fallen asleep. 

The next day, Loki opened up to him again. He explained how he felt so weighed down by just being what he is. Svadilfari said he could sympathize as everyone saw a centaur as a protector and though he did have protective instincts that’s not all that was there to him, but it’s all anyone ever saw. 

“How do you deal with it?” Loki asked.

“How do you?” Svadilfari responded.

They both looked away. 

“How about, while it’s just us, that’s all there is?” Loki quirked an eyebrow and the centaur further explained. “Just us. No titles, no races, no expectations. Together, you are just Loki and I am Svadilfari.” 

“No races will be hard when you are clearly half horse and I a Jotunn.” 

“Yeah but we can ignore it.” The centaur shrugged. “Who cares if you're blue, pale, or purple? Either way,” The centaur’s eyes roamed Loki’s figure again “You look great.” He said with a wink causing Loki to scoff. 

“Well I’m not ignoring your horse half.” Loki gave a wink of his own. “The important parts are down there.” 

And just like that their relationship began. Loki stayed with Svadilfari, traveling with him as the centaur roamed Midgard. Sometimes Loki would go back to Asgard only to rush off back to Midgard and Svadilfari. One such time, Thor had stopped Loki. 

Thor had asked if Loki would like to go on an expedition of some sort as he had some free time approaching. And with a feeling of vindication, Loki turned him down. Loki didn’t need Thor, he had Svadilfari. Svadilfari believed him, when he spoke of the Asgardians mistreatment. Svadilfari always had time for Loki first and foremost, no one came before him. Svadilfari had given Loki what he needed. 

And so Loki had told Thor he couldn’t, as he wished to spend all his time with his new partner. Thor had then started questioning Loki as to who his new lover was and Loki obliged him. He told Thor how Svadilfari was a centaur that had traveled all over Midgard and didn’t care for religion. 

“He does not know who you are?” 

“Oh he knows, he just does not care.” Loki smiled and Thor frowned.

“He should. You are a god, the last Jotunn, you-”

“No!” Loki shot back, rounding on Thor with such anger his body immediately turned blue and his eyes a hard red. “Not to him!” He jabbed a finger at Thor and in its wake was a patch of frost. “To him I am Loki first! Being a Jotunn has nothing to do with it!” 

“It is what you are!” Thor shot back confused and frustrated. 

“ **It is not all I am**!” Loki screamed. “And he knows that better than any of you!” Thor looked stricken but Loki was done talking with him. 

He didn’t need Thor. Didn’t need him to understand, to believe him. He didn’t need him to be there. And so Loki shoved past the stunned blonde and briskly walked towards the rainbow bridge. 

Loki spent decades with Svadilfari. Centaurs lived longer than humans and so the passage of time was easier. They enjoyed each other. Their love was not the sweet young love Loki had with Sigyn, nor was it the fun and exciting lust he had with Doom. They argued, they fought, they reconciled. Svadilfari didn’t treat Loki as a reverend god/immortal, didn’t fear his wrath or try and keep his favor. No, Svadilfari gave Loki what he needed. A defender from the world. With Svadilfari Loki didn’t have to worry about how being a Jotunn was an oddity, it was a nonfactor.

Which was a blessing...but also a curse. Sometimes when Loki vented about his feelings Svadilfari would dismiss it. 

“Just create some chaos for those that wronged you.” 

“I cannot prank all the immortals in Asgard.” 

“Why not?” 

Svadilfari just didn’t understand. Loki would be with these immortals forever. They already did not like him. Adding more wood to the fire would keep them bitter for all eternity. But Svadilfari shrugged those problems off. Perhaps it was because he was not immortal and thus could not grasp how long eternity truly was. 

Or perhaps it was because Svadilfari could protect Loki from the mortal world and momentarily stave off his feelings and stresses from Asgard but he couldn’t defend the Jotunn from them. But Loki wanted him to. The now seemingly brief reprieve Svadilfari offered him was no longer enough. Loki craved more. But Svadilfari couldn’t give it to him. No matter how much they both seemed to wish for it. And so Loki’s period of utter happiness had come crashing down.

Loki had returned from a brief trip to Asgard yesterday. During that day him and Svadilfari spent the entire time together; but Loki felt something was off, yet he ignored it. The next day they were in a meadow and Svadilfari had been quiet and secluded. Oftentimes Loki caught him just staring at the god. 

“Shall we go hunting?” Loki asked, trying to capture the centaur’s gaze. 

“Loki...we have to talk.” Svadilfari sighed, his whole body seemed weighed down at his own words. 

“Oh?” A sick feeling slithered into Loki’s stomach but the god was determined not to let it show. 

Svadilfari moved to stand in front of the god and held his gaze. The centaur let out a breath then raked his eyes up and down Loki’s form. The god put on a smile but the centaur didn’t return it. 

“Loki...it’s over.” 

The god felt his stomach drop out of his body but tried desperately not to let it show. “What is?”

“I’m not what you need.” The centaur whispered breaking eye contact to stare down at the ground. 

“What are you talking about?!” 

“You keep asking things from me that I cannot give you.” He choked out as if the admission hurt him physically.

“I’ve asked too much of you?!” Hurt and anger were clear throughout the now red eyed gods tone. 

“No!” Svadilfari immediately shot back then hunched his shoulders. “Yes!...It’s not about that.” 

“You brought it up!” Loki accused and the centaur's body language became defensive.

“I know! I’m sorry! It’s just,” A deep sigh. “Loki I’m not what you need. Not anymore.” Loki still looked angry and Svadilfari further explained. “You’re so far above me.”

“No I’m not.” Loki whispered but the centaur kept talking.

“We were everything I wanted, needed ….but not anymore.” He shook his head. “Loki, you know I’m not what you need.” 

“Well I’m so glad **you** know what **I** need!” Loki snapped, pacing angrily and leaving frost in his wake. “I’m glad you’ve decided you know me better than I do!” Svadilfari only gave the angry god a look of sadness and Loki’s anger crumpled back into pain. 

“You’re perfect for me. I love you!” A tear froze on the blue god’s face and Svadilfari raised a hand to cup the blue cheek. Loki grabbed the hand and held it in place. “We’re perfect.” 

“No, we’re not.” Svadilfari had his own tears in his eyes but he tried to keep them from falling. Loki let out a shuddering breath as Svadilfari pulled his hand away.

“I’m really sorry.” The centaur said. “But we’re done.” 

For a moment, Loki just stood there. Both Svadilfari and Loki just staring at each other. Both failing in their fight against their tears.

Eventually Loki grabbed at a shard of light and used the rainbow bridge’s connection to transport himself back to Asgard. There, Loki sprinted back into his room and locked himself away. In the privacy of his room Loki broke down.

What could have been either a few hours or a day later Loki heard a knock on his door. He was currently in his bed with Fenrir lying on his legs and Jörmungandr curled around his entire body. 

“Leave me!” He shouted back.

But the door only opened and in the doorway was Thor. Thor had a tray filled with Loki’s favorite sweets and the blonde had a tentative smile on his face. 

“Want some snacks?” He offered gently.

Half of Loki wanted to turn Thor away. To have Jörmungandr smack the tray out of Thor’s hands. But the other half was tired and desperately lonely. So Loki went to bid him entry when instead a sob flew out of his mouth. Thor rushed into the room, quickly placed the tray down, and huddled Loki into the crook of his neck. Thor shushed him and held him close as Loki cried into this shoulder. 

Loki never told Thor what happened. He assumed Thor just guessed that Svadilfari had died or something, for Thor never asked. 

For the next time period Thor was there for Loki like he had been in their childhood. Thor spent more time in Loki’s room, playing with Fenrir and trying to coax Jörmungandr out of hiding. When Thor’s friends and other Asgardians, like the immortal Amora, had tried to pull Thor away from Loki’s side but the blonde would always come back to Loki. 

After a sparring match between the two, which Thor had won. The crowd that had gathered, congratulated and cheered for the blonde. However this time, instead of embracing the joy of the crowd like he usually would, Thor had waved them all off. 

“Why cheer over such a small bout? This was nothing but a bit of fun.” Thor then followed Loki out. And Loki was silent but inside he was preening.

And then it hit him. 

One night after they had dined together, Loki looked at Thor and it hit him. Loki was happy, beyond happy. He had everything he ever wanted and of course that was because he had Thor.

Thor. It was always Thor. No wonder Loki fell for Svadilfari so fast. For even though they were different, he and Thor shared striking similarities. And Svadilfari had been right, he wasn’t what Loki needed. 

Loki wanted and needed Thor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. So Sigyn is the reason Loki has so little faith in humanity. She just set the bar so damn high that everyone fell short and so he thinks ‘Man they all suck’. 
> 
> 2\. Svadilfari is based off [this picture](https://thorkizilla.tumblr.com/post/121705312452/kisu-no-hi-some-people-seemed-interested-so) and of course I had him as one of Loki’s greatest loves. He and Thor have a lot of things in common so Loki subconsciously went after the like Diet Thor.
> 
> 3\. Let me know if you think I should add tags for like racism to Jotunns or something like that. I wasn't sure how to tag that, but if anyone has suggestions I'm open to them.


	4. That Woman

Thor let his eyes wander around the Throne Room as he readjusted the sheet he had wrapped around his waist. Finally his eyes settled back on Loki and the black centaur. Loki was standing beside the centaur at the entryway to the Throne Room.

Thor and Loki were just getting started in their bedplay when an Underworld minion had interrupted them, claiming they needed assistance. Unfortunately, this was not an uncommon occurrence but it never got less annoying. However, this time Loki summoned a centaur named James Rhodes into his Throne Room. Thor had never met the centaur and felt uneasy at how easily his lover and James talked. 

Finally James turned back to Thor to give a polite bow and then galloped away. Loki watched him leave then turned back to Thor with a sultry smile. 

“Ready to head back to bed?” The pale god trailed a finger down Thor’s face and the blonde smiled on instinct. 

“I’ve never met that centaur before.” Thor said and Loki’s sultry look fell into confusion. “Does he come around your palace often?” 

“Rhodey?” Loki quirked an eyebrow up. “Yes, he’s one of my best employees. Though don’t let him know I said that.” 

“So you two have a good relationship?” Thor tried to keep his tone simply curious but apparently failed at it. 

Loki gave his lover a long look before a grin split across his face. “My, my.” Thor tch-ed and tried to turn away but Loki draped his arms around Thor’s neck, pulling his lover closer. “Thor, are you jealous?” 

Thor looked put out then scoffed. “You have favored centaurs before.” 

Loki barked a laugh and before Thor could fully glare at him, Loki pulled his lover in for a long kiss. Upon separating Loki smiled.

“We made a promise, did we not?” 

“Aye.” Thor sighed then kissed Loki again. 

The two then turned to walk back to Loki’s chambers. On their way, Loki couldn’t help teasing Thor. 

“And you know there was only one centaur I favored.” Loki said arily, not noticing Thor stiffen. “It’s not like I have a lust for half horse creatures.” Loki stopped seeming to notice Thor’s stiffness. “Thor?” 

“I must confess something.” Thor said, looking both urgent and hesitant. Loki only gave him a quizzical look and so Thor drew in a breath. “I was there...when Svadilfari broke up with you.” Loki went ramrod straight and his eyes widened a fraction at the confession. “I should have left, but I didn’t. I’m sorry I bore witness to it and….I’m sorry I never told you.” 

Loki’s eyes darted to and fro as he thought back to all those years ago. “That’s why you brought me those sweets.” 

“Yes! I wanted to do something!” Thor explained then ran his fingers through his hair. “Watching him hurt you...it hurt me! And I wanted, No! I had to do something to make you smile.” Loki smiled at that and Thor returned it. 

Thor then pulled Loki into a kiss and the two just made out with each other against a wall for some time. Eventually Thor pulled away and brushed a few strands of Loki’s hair back from the pale gods face.

Smiling Thor confessed another secret. “You know, it was after witnessing that and the time we spent together afterwards that I truly began to long for you.” Thor went to kiss Loki again but was stopped by a pale hand covering his mouth.

“What.” Loki spat, now glaring at the baffled blonde.

Thor pulled away and gave Loki a searching look. “Is what I said so surprising?” Loki looked less than amused. Not angry -yet- but Thor could feel a storm brewing. 

“Well,” Loki smacked his lips together as he folded his arms. “Considering you **ran off** to be with that woman!” Loki sucked in a breath through his teeth and Thor frowned. “Yes!” A fake smile smacked itself across Loki’s face. “I am surprised for you to confess that you apparently, **longed** for me during that time.” 

“Do not mock my feelings.” Thor growled but Loki just sent him a cruel smile.

“Were you using that bitch as a substitute for me?” As soon as Loki finished he found Thor pinning him to the opposite wall. The sheet that had been around Thor’s waist now falling to the floor..

“Do not insult her!” Thor boomed, his face thunderous. “What I felt for Lady Jane and you were different and I-” Eyes turning red Loki pushed against Thor’s hold and smashed their lips together. 

Loki was not planning on having rough sex, but he would do anything to get Thor’s mind off her. Anything to push her name out of Thor’s brain. And nothing shut Thor up nor made Thor loose control quicker than rough sex. 

-

After Loki realized he wanted Thor, he became hyper aware of all the blondes actions. Thor grabbing his arm in excitement or comradery, would now leave a pleasant tingle when he pulled away. Thor’s attention was like the warmest rays of sunshine. It always brightened Loki’s mood to have Thor’s full attention. And now he did. 

Thor put Loki before everything. Thor had also seemed more sensitive to aggressions Loki faced by being Jotunn. The Warriors Three had ceased all jests and jabs at Loki’s heritage. Sif had seemed looser in his presence. When walking with Thor, Thor would glare at everyone who gave Loki a wary glance or shied away from him as if Loki would bite. Not everything was fixed but Loki felt lighter and protected.

And Loki fell harder and harder. Of course he wanted Thor. It was always about Thor. He had never tried to prove the aggressions he faced to Odin, or anyone else, only Thor. Loki wanted Thor to believe him, so Thor would always be on his side and thus be with him. 

And besides the emotional want, well, Thor was gorgeous! Loki had always known that. Thor’s body had always been muscular and seemed to gleam with power. And now, Loki's mind couldn’t stop itself from imagining Thor in all types of situations. It had started innocently enough (kinda) but then came the dreams and daydreams. Loki began turning down Thor’s invites to the baths as he wasn’t sure he could restrain himself around a wet and naked Thor. 

However, even though Loki now realized his own feelings, that meant nothing in the long run. It was grand that Thor seemed to finally be listening to Loki and be there for him. But that’s all there would ever be. Thor did not do relationships. In the eons they have lived together Thor has never had a romantic relationship. All his lovers and partners were only seen as friends with which he had sex with occasionally. 

Loki could not bear that. Could not bear to be with Thor but not have all of Thor. And he would not repeat Sif’s actions. He would not try and tie Thor to him through seduction. Loki was smart enough to know it wouldn’t work. At the end of the day a hole is a hole to Thor. His own, their own, it mattered not to Thor; as long as all parties consented and found pleasure. 

And so, as happy as having Thor believe him and defend him was, it was bittersweet. For through all of Thor’s actions, Loki fell harder and harder and despaired more and more, knowing there was nothing for it. This was all he would have, all he would get. 

The immortal Asgardian Amora started befriending Loki and the Jotunn was not blind. She was using him to get to Thor. Loki let her. Afterall, keeping one’s enemies close was better than trying to guess at what they were doing from afar. Plus Amora was amusing, and not so much an enemy as a delight. They shared a love for mischief and spellcraft. So conversation never ran dry as it sometimes did with Thor’s friends. She thought seducing Thor would keep his attention and who was Loki to burst her bubble. Plus Loki found her seduction methods funny. So he didn’t mind that she obviously only started getting closer to him in order to get to Thor. She wouldn’t have him. No one would. 

Except someone did. Some human. Some weak and unworthy female human snared and held Thor’s gaze. 

Thor, Loki, and his friends were traveling Midgard in disguise. It was like the game they used to play as children but Loki modified it. They would disguise themselves as humans or creatures of some sort and traverse the Land of the Living. Using their disguises they’d seek out how the mortals truly felt about the gods and other matters. They would then all meet up again in a designated spot and discuss their findings. 

When the designated time arrived everyone was there, except Thor. Eventually the group went out looking for the god. 

They had found him at a table with three other humans, two females and one older male. Thor still wore his human disguise and seemed engrossed in what was being discussed. Eventually they all gained Thor’s attention and the blonde discreetly came over to them. He urged them to go on without him and said he would catch up later. 

“Are you certain?” Loki had asked, being the last to leave. Thor gave the Jotunn a smile and nodded. 

Loki regretted leaving. Regretted thinking nothing of Thor wishing to stay. Regretted never trying to get Thor to look at him that way. 

Thor had not returned to Asgard for days. Loki had wanted to return and seek Thor out. Sif did as well, but the Warriors 3 and his parents steered them away from it. 

“It is good he wishes to learn more of the mortal's thoughts.” Odin said and looked off into the distance with pride. “He is very wise.” 

Loki quickly bristled at this but held it in. It had originally been his idea. But saying that would mean nothing. Odin would only say something dismissive in order to make it seem like Loki contributed the bare minimum and Thor the majority. It’s how these things always went. 

Thor returned back besotted. Thor had on a giddy smile and seemed so carefree. Loki hadn’t realized Thor was carrying chains of his own until he saw Thor return. Was Loki’s feeling of freedom this obvious? Did he almost float like Thor did now? 

However, Loki couldn’t ponder that for long because he quickly decided he had to know what was giving Thor such a feeling of freedom. So Loki ran to meet up with Thor and found the blonde god in his room, packing up some belongings and clothing. Thor flew all around the room, packing up piles of clothes and grabbing a few trinkets. 

“Loki!” Thor greeted and Loki could see Thor’s shoulders slump. A weight being put on them and Loki’s stomach swooped. “Excellent timing! Do you have our ball?” 

“Our what?” Loki quirked an eyebrow and tried to hide his reaction at Thor’s greeting.

“Our ball? I know we had several growing up. But I can’t find any and I’m hoping you kept one. From childhood remember? The ones that broke apart, floated, then remade itself and came back down.”

“Ah, those.” Loki nodded then waltzed over to Thor’s bed and sat down. “No, I don’t have any.” Thor grimaced but then continued packing. “Tell me, are you going on a quest? Why are you packing?” 

More weight seemed to pile up on Thor’s shoulders but the blonde smiled through it. Loki’s insides began to squirm and cramp up.

“I am not going on a quest per se. I…” Thor took a deep breath, looked at Loki who gave the blonde an imploring look, but he turned away. “I have met someone.” 

“...Oh?” Loki made sure not to show any adverse reaction even though Thor wasn’t looking. “You’ve taken a new lover?” 

“No, not…” Thor turned towards his window and gave it a far away look. “She’s not like that.” 

“She?” 

Thor smiled at Loki then physically pushed the Jotunn towards the door. Loki sputtered protests but the blonde just smiled at him.

“I will explain when I meet with Mother and Father.” 

“Mother and-” Loki felt as if he had just been dunked in one of the oceans. “Thor!” He turned around but found Thor’s door in his face. He banged on the door a few times. “Thor open up!”

“I’ll explain later!” Thor called from inside. 

“Thor!” Loki banged on the door again.

“Please!” Loki’s fist hesitated at Thor’s plea. Thor’s tone was ...weighted.

“...Very well. But it better be good.” Loki then turned and left.

He was a weight. 

Loki didn’t even know Thor carried worries or anything other than his own whims. But seeing him so light. Loki could see the moment Thor greeted him a weight was added. Loki was a weight. 

‘ _Am I burden? Do I demand so much?’_ Loki thought then ground his teeth. ‘ _Is asking for some basic respect so much a task that Thor feels weighted by the burden_?!’ 

Later, Thor had met with Odin, Frigga, Loki, and his friends in the main hall. There he announced that he seeked to be free, to live as mortals do for a period of time. This request did not go over well. 

Odin was silent, but Frigga immediately voiced her concern for his wellbeing. The Warriors Three voiced various arguments as to why it was a bad idea, with Sif joining them. 

“Is this because of the woman you mentioned?” Loki questioned and everyone zeroed in on him.

“You knew of this?” Frigga asked and Loki shook his head in denial. 

“Yes.” Thor nodded then directed his full attention to Odin. “I ask you find someone else to shepherd storms while I live out this mortal life.”

“Why?” Odin asked before anyone could say anything more. 

“I have met the most wonderous human woman, my Lady Jane.” Thor’s eyes sparkled and Loki’s heart clenched painfully. “I wish to spend a mortal life with her. I do not ask to give up my immortality but to be allowed to live and earn her love.” 

“Love?” Loki quietly gasped and thankfully no one appeared to have heard him, too engrossed in Thor’s declaration and plans on how he wishes to live a full mortal life with this woman. How he asks they only pull him away if they have need of him, but otherwise to let him be. 

Odin agreed. Frigga gifted Thor with some illusion magic medallion that would make him appear to age as human mortals did. Odin’s one rule, however, was that he not marry her. He could be with this Jane, but could not marry her. 

It felt as if it all happened so quickly and Loki was in a daze. Thor had said his goodbyes. His friends had teased him that a human life span was not so long and they would see him soon. Loki had said some parting words though he couldn’t recall them. And then Thor was gone. His hammer mjolnir left in the main hall for Odin to retrieve and use for storm shepherding . 

Thor was gone. 

And it did not take long for old habits to come back. The Asgardians still looked at him with mistrust. Respect was hard to find. His spars were scrutinized and if he won they were dismissed as flukes. The Warriors Three and Sif did not immediately revert back to their old ways, though a jest fell from their lips every now and again. But Loki did not see them that often. They were always Thor’s friends, not his. And with Thor gone, Amora saw no use in associating with the Jotunn so publicly. 

Loki was alone again. 

He had searched Thor out once during this time. Everything had seemed to be too much and Loki just needed someone to talk to. To be there. So he ran to Thor. And he found Thor in her arms. This simple mortal woman. She had Thor doing menial tasks that the blonde oaf seemed overjoyed to do. 

Thor didn’t put his godly responsibilities off for Loki, but he did for this woman. Thor had chosen her first over him. 

-

That woman would not be brought back into Loki’s life in any capacity. He would not hear her name. He would not let Thor think her name. After all, it was her fault! She had so easily turned Thor’s gaze. She had so easily brought the god of Fertility to heel. She was the reason Loki was abandoned again. She was the reason Loki was made so easy a target for **him**.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want both fics to end around the same time so this coming Monday will be the last Monday posting, then it'll switch to only Wednesday and Friday.


	5. Making a Puppet

“And thus you cannot have my head.” Loki said with a smirk.

“But you agreed to give me your head! Your neck getting injured is assumed!” Tony argued back. 

“You should never rely on assumptions. I never agreed to let you injure my neck. If you can take my head without it, then you are free to do so.” Loki smirked at the frustrated child.

With a cry of frustration Tony paced the Throne Room. “Ok I give up!” Tony grumbled then plopped himself on the floor. Letting out a growl at the smiling god, Tony grumbled again. “I’m not good at this.”

“On the contrary.” Loki complimented. “I think you did quite well this round.” 

“Yeah but you can turn a conversation on its head, inside out, and flip it around with no one being the wiser.” The child continued to pout.

“You did well Tony. The art of manipulating a conversation is difficult, but you are improving.” 

Tony smiled at the god “You’re great at it!”

“I know!” Loki preened and Tony rolled his eyes. 

“Seriously, I bet no one has ever been able to undermine or manipulate you.” 

“No one can manipulate me.” Loki proclaimed seriously but Tony just rolled his eyes, taking Loki’s ego with ease. 

“Can we go again? Another round of practice?” Tony begged while getting up off the floor. However as he got up his stomach let out a growl.

“Did you eat today?” Loki arched an eyebrow. 

“...Yes.” 

“You need to work on your lying.” Tony stuck out his tongue and Loki’s face wrinkled up in disgust at the gesture. “Go eat, before that shade comes and yells at you.” 

“Don’t tell Jarvis!” Tony gasped then ran to the door. “I’m eating now! Don’t tell him I skipped!” 

Shaking his head Loki thought back to his lesson with the human. He was teaching Tony the art of manipulation: manipulating a conversation, emotions, people. It was going well. Tony had a knack for it, Loki just had to help him hone it some more. 

As Loki mentally reviewed what Tony could improve and what he did well, their parting banter popped back into his head. 

‘ _No one can manipulate me…’_ ’ Loki thought as he leaned on his one armrest and propped his head on his hand. Then a memory, a forbidden one, flashed in his mind’s eye causing Loki to shoot up out of his throne and viciously shake his head. “No one can manipulate me.” He chanted silently. 

-

Loki was all alone against the prejudice of the Asgardians. There was no Thor to defend him. No lover to rush into the arms of. No one to vent to. He just had to bear it. 

And it was hard. After having Svadilfari protect him from the world and then Thor afterwards defending him from the world and Asgard, Loki grew rusty at not letting barbs hit too close. 

Eventually it became too much. 

He had tried to seek out Thor. What a mistake that was. Seeing Thor so happy with his Lady Jane. It wrenched at his heart. 

Thor would never be his. He had known that. However, he had known it because Thor did not do relationships. But now he did. And so the truth was revealed. Thor would only be there for him until he found someone more precious, and there would be someone. If there was one Lady Jane, there’d be another. 

And so Loki decided to leave. He bid his favorite pets farewell and then set out on his journey. He had no destination in mind, he simply needed to get away for a time. And so Loki just walked the realms. He never stayed in one place for too long, just wandered and roamed. Finally while exploring a mostly deserted section in Midgard, Loki felt a tug.

It was an odd sensation, but Loki felt something waiting on him. It felt almost like the feeling one would get before using the rainbow bridge to transport back to Asgard. Like something was ready and set to go, only waiting on the final piece, the final push. 

“A doorway to a realm?” Loki pondered as he followed the tug. 

Loki had studied the maps of the realms, had known which realms were left accessible after the War and which were left closed. He also knew where each “doorway” was, and one was not meant to be here. 

As he walked, the tug felt more and more insistent. Loki’s very magic seemed to pulse with the pull, but he refused to run or go any faster than the stride he had at the start. It didn’t do well to rush into something unknown. So he continued walking and his magic kept pushing him towards the tug until finally, he was no longer in Midgard.

Loki let out a gasp of surprise as he took in his new surroundings. 

He was on a walkway of some sort. The ground was a hard gray stone. Behind him he felt the same pull as before, indicating that’s where the “doorway” was. Before him, at the end of the walkway was a tall and imposing door. There was no connecting building. Nothing even seemed to be behind the door. It was just a door at the end of the walkway. 

Looking down the walkway Loki saw it just dropped off to a seemingly bottomless cavern. Farther away from the walkway Loki was on were others. They all were like the one Loki was currently on. Walkways leading to closed doors. None of them were within reach of each other (even if you jumped). You’d have to be a giant to go from one walkway to the next. 

It was also dark. This place wasn’t without light but it was dark light (shaded). Loki tried to grasp at a shard of light to feel the rainbow bridge but couldn’t feel the connection.

“A closed realm.” Loki gasped as he realized he had accidentally stumbled into a realm that had been and remained closed from the war. 

Setting his shoulders in determination Loki walked towards the door, being mindful of his steps as he didn’t want to accidentally stumble and fall into the seemingly unending abyss. Once he was closer, Loki could see the door was actually a double door and had intricate runes carved into it. Standing an arm’s length away from it Loki tried to decipher what the runes were. 

“Oh! Eh! I was right!” A voice cheered and Loki visibly jolted. “Someone is here!” Loki took a step away from the door as the voice was clearly coming from behind it.

“Oh! Oh! Not just someone.” The voice seemed to correct itself. “But it’s you!” The voice purred. 

Loki’s mind spun. This was definitely a closed realm, it had been closed from at least the War. And yet there was a living creature still in here. 

“Eh, don’t be rude.” The voice purred again. “Or do. But, uh, don’t half-ass it.” 

“Who are you?” Loki asked and straightened his shoulders in determination. 

“Oh! He speaks!” The voice cheered. “And your voice, to hear it in person!” The speaker seemed to swoon. “Yes, yes. I like your voice.” 

Loki’s face contorted in confusion but he shrugged it off and repeated his question, firmer this time. 

“Apologies!” A new voice boomed. “It has been….quite some time since we have had the pleasure of anyone’s company. Let alone someone, like yourself.” This voice carried more weight and each word seemed to be spoken with reverence. 

“That does not answer my question.” Loki retorted. 

“The one you spoke with first is En Dwi Gast and I am Thanos.” Thanos introduced. 

“Ah! Ah! But you may call me Gast or Darling,” En Dwi Gast purred and Loki rolled his eyes but was stunned by En Dwi’s next words “My Prince Loki.” 

A few seconds of silence passed as Loki processed that they knew him. 

Swallowing hard Loki asked. “How do you know me?” 

“Even though we have been trapped in here, En Dwi Gast has the ability to look through the realms. It is through his power that we know who you are.” Loki couldn’t repress a shiver at the confession. 

‘ _Leave._ ’ Loki thought. ‘ _I have to get out of here. Tell Odin of this hidden entrance and of these beings!_ ’ Loki tried to silently step back when another, more pronounced thought came into his mind. ‘ _Or I could stay. Find out more about them._ ’ Loki mentally shook himself. 

Why would he stay? What was to gain by staying in a realm and talking to beings that have been seemingly locked away from at least the time of the War. 

‘ _No, I must tell Odin._ ’ Loki thought with more conviction when another contrary thought slipped in. ‘ _But I can tell him later. First I should learn more about them so Odin knows who he’d be coming to deal with._ ’ 

And so Loki stayed. 

Perhaps he should have left. Perhaps he should have followed his first thoughts. He would later learn those contrary thoughts weren’t his own. Instead they were Thanos’s, who’s magic was so great it managed to get through the magicly enforced doors and made its way into Loki’s head. And in Loki’s head the magic would stay and grow. 

However, to this day Loki debates if leaving would have been the better option. For what was truly worse? The outcome from staying or continuing to live in blindfolded ignorance. 

He never told Odin or anyone of his discovery. And for years afterwards, Loki would come back to visit what he learned was the “Forgotten realm” and talk with Thanos and En Dwi Gast. They took off the blindfold he had always unknowingly worn.

Presently, they were fanning the flames of resentfulness into full on hatred. 

Loki had known Asgardians judged him unfairly. He knew they looked at him with mistrust. He was all too aware of the transgressions done against him. Yet Thanos and En Dwi Gast seemed to part the curtains on issues he had not even realized.

“They disregard you!” Gast exclaimed and Loki nodded at the closed door.

“All the time.” Loki agreed. “A Jotunn can never do anything great.” He spat out bitterly.

“Ah! But a half and quarter Jotunn can?” Thanos intoned. 

Whenever Thanos spoke his very voice seemed to demand attention. No matter what he said, it was always said with gravity. 

“You mean Odin and Thor?” Loki made a derisive sound. “That is because all their accomplishments are Asgardian, as they are seen as mainly, if not only, Asgardian.” 

“That’s not true.” Thanos said, and he said it almost gently; as if he was telling bad news to a child and wanted to put it delicately. “You were not around to see Odin’s celebrations, but surely you saw Thors?”

“Thors?” Loki quirked an eyebrow. “Thor has had many celebrations. You’ll have to be specific.” 

“When his lightning first manifested.” 

At the mention of it, Loki’s mind flashed back to that fateful day when Thor first summoned lightning. When Thor first realized thunder and lightning were bound to him, a part of him as ice was to Loki. A smile made its way onto Loki’s face as he thought back on it. They were young, no longer children but Odin still did not call them adults. Both had been granted their godhood status, Loki the god of Mischief and Thor the god of Fertility. They were in Asgard and Loki could not seem to recall what set Thor off, but something did. And then in front of their parents and some gathered immortals, Thor had summoned a lightning bolt. It was so bright and startling, Loki swore even Odin screeched in fright. Thor had looked so awed at his new power, but it quickly turned to fear. For when he tried to show off again he found he couldn’t control it, not yet. Loki and their parents had to help keep the lightning and thunder at bay. But even so Thor was so awed, as was all of the immortals, as was Loki. Thor could control an element of the cosmos. Not even Odin could do that. Only Loki had ever been able to.

“What of it?” Loki asked, coming back from his flashback. 

“Oh my dear.” En Dwi Gast cooed.

Before Loki could bristle anymore at Gast’s patronizing tone, Thanos explained. “That is Jotunn magic.” Loki’s mind stopped. “Only Jotunns can control the elements and he is a quarter Jotunn.” Loki felt himself going numb the more the realization sunk in. “They threw a grand feast for him yes?” Thanos asked and Loki nodded, knowing they could see him through Gast’s abilities. “They celebrated and immediately named him god of that element, correct?” Another nod. “But what of you?” Thanos paused then continued. 

“You have been able to control ice since birth. Did they ever think of naming you god of it?” 

‘ _No._ ’ Loki thought. Stunned that he never even considered that. 

“Did they ever craft a weapon or anything to help you channel your power as they did with Thor?”

‘ _No._ ’ Loki remembered being told at a very young age he needed to get his ice powers under control, but was given no tool to help him.

“Did they ever celebrate your power?” 

‘ _No._ ’ 

“Thor almost injured how many in his manifestation?! And yet they celebrated it the same day!” Thanos boomed in outrage and Loki’s eyes hardened as he too felt outraged. “But you! You have been able to control your element for how long? Did you get a feast?”

“No!” Loki snarled. “I got nothing!” 

“Because they treat you like nothing!” Thanos said. “They believe you are nothing!” 

And so with the passage of time, Thanos and En Dwi Gast exposed Loki to more truths. They pulled the curtains back on so many issues Loki had written off or thought little of. Yet, with Thanos and En Dwi Gast’s help Loki saw them for what they truly were. Like that time with Thor, just before Loki met Svadilfari. 

“You truly believe his words?” Thanos questioned and Loki tried to stay strong. 

For Loki believed in Thor. Thor may have failed him for some time but then Thor made an effort to be better, to make things better for Loki. Yet, the more Thanos and En Dwi Gast spoke, the harder it was to believe in him. Thor had disregarded him at times, had ignored him, doubted him, not been there. 

“As Thor said, they had planned that expedition years ago and so he did not ditch me-”

“Then why didn’t he invite you?” En Dwi Gast asked in a tone of fake innocence. 

“He did!” Loki snapped. 

“Did he?” En Dwi Gast questioned back. “Or did you confront him and he just caved and let you tag along.” 

“He-” 

“Thor knew you wanted to spend time with him, yes?” Thanos interrupted.

Biting his lip Loki answered shortly. “Yes.” 

“You asked to go on trips with him before, correct?” 

“Yes.” Loki’s shoulders slumped as he felt the fight leave him, even his mind was having a difficult time coming up with defenses for Thor.

“And instead of telling you of this trip with his friends and asking you to come, he just left. Left without telling or inviting you. If you hadn’t gone after him, you would have been where he left you. Alone in Asgard.” 

“...yes.” Loki croaked. 

Thanos and En Dwi Gast also seemed to try and push at issues Loki had already known about.

Loki’s blue skin and red eyes bothered Asgardians. It got them defensive and more distrustful for it reminded them he was not Asgardian. 

“Go to them in your blue form.” They had suggested. 

When Loki pushed back, stating how he knew that was a bad idea and would not end well. They would talk of how it was unfair for him to change for the Asgardians comfort when they did nothing for his. They still throw looks at him in his pale form, why not be what they want. Make them face their monster. Who cares for their comfort when they don’t care for his anything. At the end of it even Loki’s thoughts were agreeing this was a good idea. 

So the next time Loki returned to Asgard, he wore his blue skin and red eyes. And predictably all of the Asgardians leapt away from him. Loki would give the ones he passed snarling smiles. 

‘ _Let them stare. Let them face what I am. I will not hide it._ ’

Unsurprisingly, Odin and Frigga called Loki to their chambers. Loki refused, stating he would meet them in the Main Hall.

‘ _They will not deal with me in private. No! All of Asgard will see me for what I am. I will not be talked to like a child and made to change for **them**!’ _

He should have expected Odin would have the Main Hall empty. Loki had raged internally when he strode in and saw the room empty save for his parents. They had asked what Loki was upset about and Loki snapped at them.

“I must be upset?! Can I not just wear this skin?!” Loki snapped.

“Of course you can.” Frigga immediately placated. For that was what it was, Loki could see it now thanks to Thanos and Gast. Placation, not comfort. 

“We thought this appearance only...came out...when you were upset.” Odin explained uneasily as Loki glared.

“You thought wrong.” Loki stated in a tone of finality. 

Odin gave a puzzled look to Loki then Frigga, who also looked confused. She looked back to Loki but the Jotunn had had enough. Doing an about-face Loki left the Main Hall. 

Upon returning to Thanos and En Dwi Gast Loki vented about his experience and they talked of their understanding. Loki then divulged more tales of his childhood and Thanos and En Dwi Gast encouraged him to vent. 

“Do you know when my horns first came in Odin made me go out alone! No escort or anyone there on my side.” Loki said in outrage “Just a lone child set to face the prejudice of the people.” 

“He wanted you to feel the shame, to be ashamed of your Jotunn biology.” 

When looking for solutions to problems, no Asgardian took him seriously. His suggestions would be dismissed. But if he asked Thor to suggest them then they’d be listened to and enacted. Thanos and En Dwi Gast were suitably on Loki’s side and criticized the Asgardians for their favoritism and general stupidity. 

“They look at you and see all of Jotunn kind. Yet Odin is never judged for his mother.” 

Loki’s jaw dropped at that realization. “No he’s not.” 

No one had ever compared Odin to his mad and power hungry mother Bestla. Loki had never interacted with a Jotunn, whereas Odin was raised by Bestla (a Jotunn). But Loki was judged constantly and Odin never was. 

“So, wrongs you had no hand in can be used against you. But wrongs Odin bore witness to cannot be used against him?” Thanos hummed. “Seems unfair.” 

Loki was not tracking time anymore. It seemed a waste. He would go to Asgard then back to the Forgotten Realm every so often. However, it couldn’t have been more than a century as every time he went back to Asgard Thor was still gone. Living his fairytale mortal life with that woman. 

However, this time when Loki returned to Asgard, he realized that perhaps a century had passed for Thor was back. When Thor rounded the corner and spotted a blue Loki he visibly startled and Loki glared at him. 

It was stupid and foolish to think Thor would be different. And yet, Loki felt his heart clench at Thor’s expression upon seeing him.

“Loki!” Thor rushed to him but the Jotunn flinched away from the blondes reach. “Are you well? Has something happened? I’ve heard you were-”

“Were what?!” Loki snarled. “Blue?! Jotunn?!” 

“No!” Thor replied instantly then shook his head and corrected himself. “Well yes. But that’s not…” The blonde let out an aggravated huff. “Not the point.” He sighed then set his shoulders and stared hard at Loki. “Are you well? I’ve heard you are upset.” 

Loki rolled his eyes and shoved at Thor’s shoulder as he moved past the blonde. “Don’t you have a human to get back to?!” 

“Loki!” Thor called and his tone was both angry and frustrated. It seemed Thor’s time with the humans did not lengthen his fuse. 

“I just wish to know what has upset you so?” Thor questioned as he caught up to Loki and walked beside him. 

“Why?!” Loki snapped again. “So you can take care of it?!” Loki stopped now and folded his arms in front of his chest “Defend the weak Jotunn so you come out looking the hero?” 

“What?!” Thor’s face was one of pure confusion and Loki shook his head at it. “That is not-! Loki what are you talking about?!” 

“You wish to defend me so you can improve your image while convincing yourself you are doing enough.” 

“WHAT?!” 

“The Asgardians will think better of you for upholding “family honor”, Odin will think you even more heroic, if that’s even possible!” Loki ranted. “And meanwhile I will look even weaker! Needing Thor to defend me for I can’t possibly defend myself!” He mocked.

“Loki!” Thor grabbed the raven’s shoulders in a firm grip. “Has someone said this to you?!” The blonde’s face was one of rage but Loki just snarled at it

“No one had to tell me Thor!” He spat. “I figured it out!” Loki wrenched himself out of Thor’s grip and out of arm’s reach. “Like your grandmother, you do have the mind of a strategist!” Thor’s face dropped to one of absolute horror at being compared to Bestla.

Loki huffed in victory but then fear flashed in his eyes as sparks flew from Thor’s shoulders. 

“I am not like Bestla!” Thor growled. “And I did not do any of the things you accused me of!” 

“Then you are an idiot!” Loki shot back, letting ice coat the floor around him. “An idiot and a fool to not see the effect your actions have and their repercussions!” 

Thor glared and took a step towards Loki. “You are the fool! Spouting madness! Instigating a fight, when I just wished to ask how you faired!” 

“I am the last son of the Jotunn royal line, and the only living Jotunn in the cosmos! I am eternally alone!” Thor looked as if he had been slapped by that but Loki continued to spit out his reply. “I never fair well, I have only faked it until now!” Thor reeled back at that declaration and Loki turned on his heel and stomped towards the only company in Asgard he cared for, his pets. 

Loki should not have been surprised by the summons. He didn’t fight it. Didn’t push for it to be in public. So he made his way to Odin and Frigga’s chambers. Though “chambers” was perhaps the incorrect word. Their “chambers” contained several rooms: a sitting room, a balcony, a private bathing room, a private study, and their bedroom. The meeting was held in their sitting room.

Frigga was pacing when Loki entered, her hands wrestling with each other in a show of nerves. Odin was seated on one of the tall back chairs. Thor seemed unable to decide between sitting and standing for he was in the midst of getting up when Loki entered. 

Much like last time, Friga and Odin asked if he was alright. Loki dismissed their concern and gave empty responses. Thor asked him about his outburst with him and Loki dismissed that as well.

“What does it matter to you anyway? Don’t you have a storm to shepherd or creature to pleasure?” 

“Loki!” Frigga reprimanded but Loki shrugged it off.

“Son we are worried about you.” Odin intoned. 

Loki rolled his shoulders and mumbled something none of them could hear.

“Loki what?” Frigga asked, her eyes begging for an answer or a hint as to what could be causing this change in her child. 

Gritting his teeth Loki shook his head. He was currently battling his own thoughts and thus had no time to worry about the looks he was receiving. 

‘ _Say it!_ ’ Part of Loki shouted, but another part of him rebelled. ‘ _No! It’s not true! They are your family!_ ’ Then the other part, gained traction, flashing up memories of all the times Odin, Frigga, and Thor had failed him. ‘ _Are they really?_ ’ It coaxed. ‘ _They share the blood of the one who killed your parents. Frigga and Odin killed your people. They are NOT your family._ ’

“....What?” 

Heartbreak and pain was easy to hear in the word Frigga gasped as she slowly crumbled to the couch just behind her. 

Loki looked over to her and his own face scrunched up in pain staring at her plain and honest display of anguish. Averting his red eyes to the ground Loki repeated.

“You're not my family.” 

“Loki.” Thor whispered, pain also clear in his voice. 

But the silence from Odin was what mattered to Loki. What he latched onto. In truth he hadn’t looked at Odin. Did not bother to see what the old gods face displayed, what emotions he was feeling. Instead Loki’s mind whispered how Odin didn’t care and Loki ran with it.

“I am trapped in the House of those who killed my parents….how could we be family?” 

Loki had left Asgard again directly after that. He ran back to Thanos and En Dwi Gast. He had to get away from Frigga and Thor’s pained faces. From the pain his own heart felt. From Asgard. From everything.

What he said wasn’t wrong. He knew that. Odin, Frigga, Thor, they were related to Bestla, who had murdered his parents, Odin had even witnessed it. And they hadn’t always been there for him. And any happy memories he thought he had, Thanos and En Dwi Gast helped peel back the glamor and show Loki what those memories really were. Placation and subterfuge. Yet...his heart hurt so much. 

‘ _Thanos and Gast will help with everything._ ’ Loki’s thoughts told him so he followed them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. Hope you enjoyed that nod to Norse mythology in the beg. there ;D
> 
> 2\. Picture where the aether was in Thor the Dark World for the Forgotten Realm.


	6. Reaching Full Potential

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **The “Flashback” portion of this chapter takes place before the whole Renouncement meeting that happened at the end of Chap 5.**   
> I wasn’t sure I made this clear so I’m stating it here.

Loki and Tony were in Loki’s private study, both reading their own scrolls. Enjoying their time off work. However, Tony’s face kept scrunching up and he was making sounds of confusion. Loki tried his best to ignore it but eventually Tony let out a loud groan and trudged over to Loki’s side. 

“Yes?” Loki asked finally looking at the child.

“Can Thor not teleport?” Tony asked in a frustrated and confused tone. He then held up his scroll. “I mean half these adventures of his are just stupid if he can just teleport away!” 

Loki blinked twice, he never thought to explain this to Tony. Clearing his throat Loki told Tony to pull a chair up so he could properly explain.

“Thor cannot teleport.” Loki stated clearly. “You know how I’ve told you Thor’s power over Thunder is due to him being partially Jotunn?” Tony nodded. “Well teleportation is stricter Jotunn magic. Only full fledged Jotunns can do it. So even though Thor is part Jotunn he is not able to.” 

Loki then went on to explain how Thor could not do most magic Loki could. Not just cause Loki had access to Jotunn magic, but also because Thor was just never great in magical study and never tried to improve. However, Tony began asking Loki more questions about Jotunn magic so Loki explained. 

Many spells and magic Loki knew were technically Asgardian magic, so any Asgardian could do them if they had a knack for it. However Loki’s ability to create portals between realms, to teleport himself and others, and to summon others were just a few examples of his Jotunn magic. 

“You see it’s because the Jotunn were the ones who created the realms and the pathways connecting them.” Loki explained. “So Jotunn magic is always linked to these pathways, and thus I can create shortcuts through them or pull myself and others through.”

“So how do others travel the realms?” 

“Mainly through the realms “doorways”.” Loki put air quotes around the last word. 

Loki then went on to explain how each realm had “Doorways” that allowed travel to and fro from the realms. Hel, for example, could only be reached through portals that were located throughout the other realms. In order for shades or Thor or any being to access Hel they had to go to a portal and use that to get to Hel. 

“So openings to Hel are just littered across the Land of the Living?” Tony asked with an incredulous look.

“Yes, you don’t want shades wandering around forever trying to find their way to their resting place. The Land of Living has the most, to be fair. But it’s very hard to accidentally stumble into one.” 

“But shades can see them?” 

“Yes and they feel the pull of the portals closests to them.” 

Loki then briefly explained Asgard’s doorway. Asgard had the rainbow bridge which connected to light. So as long as anyone was in an open realm, and the rainbow bridge was active, if they grasped at light and pushed with their power they would feel the rainbow bridge ready to take them to Asgard.

“So I could go to Asgard?” The young boy looked ecstatic and the god barked a laugh in his face. 

“No! No!” Loki continued to laugh as the boy pouted and glared at him. “You have to have power!”

“I’m pretty powerful.” Tony boasted and Loki rolled his eyes. 

“Magic, Anthony.” Loki tutted. 

Asgard’s rainbow bridge was intricate in that it’s doorway never pulled, but you had to push to get in. The door was always available but you had to know how to get the door open. Once you did though, you would be immediately transported to the actual rainbow bridge; which had a beautiful view of the Shining Palace. 

“Wow! So the Jotunns created all the realms and all the ways to travel between them.” Tony seemed awestruck and Loki preened at his tone.

“Yes.” Loki felt his chest puff up in pride. 

“That’s amazing!” The kid gushed. “All the intricate ways they made these bridges and doorways!” 

Loki felt himself swell with more and more pride as Tony rambled on complimenting his people’s past accomplishments. It was not often Loki heard compliments regarding Jotunns and so Loki soaked it up. 

“I can’t believe a race that smart could be so stupid!” Tony rambled, unaware Loki’s stomach had just dropped out of his body. “How could they follow a mad queen who murdered their rulers but also be the same people that MADE all the realms!” Tony let out an incredulous laugh, “I just can’t-”

“ENOUGH!” Loki barked as he bolted out of his chair. Tony flinched back, immediately giving Loki his full attention. Loki glared at him and Tony’s face was one of bewilderment and fear. “Don’t you have work to be doing?!” Tony’s eyes glanced around as his mouth flapped open and closed. “If you have so much free time, I’ll assign more work!” Loki jabbed at a wall of bookcases. “Organize those in content and alphabetical order.” 

“But-”

“NOW!” 

Loki screamed and Tony ran to the bookshelf. Loki then turned on his heels and stomped out of the study. He didn’t have a destination in mind but he needed to leave, to clear his head. Because inside his mind, he was raging. 

‘ _How DARE he!’_ Loki thought. ‘ _How dare he say that! Call Jotunns stupid! Think they’d follow Bestla!’_ Loki shot an icicle and as he watched it shatter against the wall, some of his anger calmed. ‘ _But how could he know better?_ ’ 

Letting out a full body sigh, the god leaned his weight against the wall behind him. ‘ _Did I not think that way before as well?’_

Before meeting Thanos and En Dwi Gast Loki didn’t know many things. The truth of what happened to the Jotunns was the major reveal but they also taught him how to use his Jotunn magic.

-

“So Loki, my dear.” Gast said in that tone that used to make Loki uncomfortable but since he had spent a few years with them, it no longer bothered him. “You never told us how you came into our little, eh, area of the cosmos.” 

“I went through the doorway.”

“The Doorway is closed.” Thanos intoned. “This realm was shut tight. You must have used your Jotunn magic to slip through the seams of the realms.”

Loki boggled at the door which held Thanos and Gast behind it. “...Excuse me?”

“Oh! That’s right!” Gast gasped. “They never taught you!” 

“What are you two talking about?” The feeling of unease quickly creeped up on the Jotunn. 

Uncovering more things hidden or faked by the Asgardians, rattled him. He was happy to no longer be playing the fool and seeing the truth and realising just how wronged he had been. But, it never got easier to hear. It was necessary he knew that. His own thoughts would urge him to listen and learn the truth of the depths of the Asgardians hatred and bigotry. But it hurt, and rattled something inside Loki each time. 

“It makes sense they never even tried to teach you.” Thanos explained in that patient tone, as if he was trying to soften whatever blow was coming. “The Asgardians couldn’t let unchecked pure Jotunn power like yours run free.”

“You mean my power over ice?” Loki unfolded one hand and formed a large intricate snowflake. 

“My darling!” Gast purred. “There is so much more to Jotunn magic than being connected to the elements of the cosmos.” 

Thanos and Gast then reiterated that the Jotunns had created all the realms and their doorways. To which Loki snapped that he knew that. 

“Ah, but did you know they don’t need doorways?” Loki could hear the smirk in Gast’s tone.

“What?” Loki gasped.

Thanos and Gast then went onto explain how Jotunn magic is always linked to these pathways, and so Jotunn’s can create shortcuts through them. Jotunns had no need for doorways as they could make one on a whim. The doorways were for the other beings of the cosmos. 

“I could create a portal to any realm?” 

“You could create portals and teleport anytime you wanted.” Gast said with delight. 

“So of course the Asgardians made sure not to let you know.” Thanos broke in. 

The joy and euphoria Loki had felt at the possibility of all that power immediately came crashing down at the realization. Loki could have made transportation so easy. Loki would have done so much, could have accomplished so much! He wouldn’t need strength to win bouts. He could have teleported his enemy to a volcano, or drop something on top of them. He could have won so many battles that Thor ended up taking the glory for since he delivered the killing blow with his physical strength. But Loki had a better and stronger strength. And they knew it! They knew it and kept it from him. 

‘ _Even Mother knew._ ’ Loki’s thoughts whispered and the god felt a stab at his heart. 

Loki flashed back to Frigga telling him he had everyone beat in magic. And she was right. She knew he could have been so much more. But she didn’t help him. She, like all of them, kept him down. Loki had so much potential, and the Asgardians purposefully kept it from him. 

“Can you teach me?” Loki asked in a suddenly horse and raw voice. 

“We are not Jotunn.” Thanos said “But we can try.”

“We will do everything we can to get you to unlock this ability.” Gast declared. 

And so they did and Loki felt touched. The people who raised him, the people who he was raised around, never thought to even mention this magic to Loki. And they knew. Odin was half Jotunn, his mother was a full Jotunn. She had this magic. Odin knew and kept it from Loki.

And it didn’t take long for Loki to learn. It became almost as natural as his ice magic the more he practiced. He could create a portal to Midgard, then Asgard, then pop back into the Realm of the Forgotten. 

In Asgard, during one of his returns back, he teleported Jörmungandr from one part of his room to the next and then around the Palace. However, he made sure to do it stealthily. And even though he no longer needed the rainbow bridge to traverse the realms he kept using it. 

The Asgardians didn’t want him to know this magic. He didn’t know how they’d react if they learned he mastered it. So he kept up the charade. 

During a dinner with his parents (Thor was still with that woman) he had even hinted at it. Giving them an opening to discuss this magic with him. Giving them a chance to prove Thanos and Gast and Loki wrong. That they weren’t keeping it from him, but waiting for the right time to tell him. But they didn’t mention it. They breezed right over the subject. 

“I was wondering.” Loki mentioned just before taking a drink from his wine.

Odin and Frigga immediately gave Loki their attention. He seemed so distant and temperamental lately. He now wore his blue skin everyday. And Odin and Frigga could never ask him about it, for he would just snap at them as he did in the Main Hall the first time they tried reaching out. So they both decided it would be for the best to just give Loki some space. 

“Oh?” Frigga encouraged, steepling her fingers together. “What about?”

“The Jotunns created the realms and the doorways.” Loki stated as he stared into his cup. “But how did they navigate when they hadn’t built the doorways yet?” Loki lifted his eyes and made sure to make eye contact with both parents. 

Frigga’s eyebrows scrunched together then she glanced at her husband. Odin seemed unbothered by the question and simply shrugged. 

“We do not know.” Odin then continued eating his food. “It is, unfortunately, a mystery that we may never unravel.” Frigga nodded and Loki internally seethed.

“Surely, your mother would have said something.”

“My mother is not to be mentioned!” Odin boomed and gave the god a stern look. And just like that, Loki felt like a small child again, scolded for taking an extra cookie. 

“Besides,” Frigga broke in, her tone calming as she tried to diffuse the tension. “Even if she did” Odin gave Frigga a stern look as well but she ignored it. “say something or try to explain it. We couldn’t trust her to be truthful.” 

And then a new conversation topic was brought up and Loki’s insides hurt. 

When he went back to the Forgotten Realm he tried to avoid talking about it but eventually Thanos and Gast got him to tell them what happened.

“Oh dearie.” Gast cooed. “We told you.” 

“They would have never revealed the truth of your potential.” Thanos said in a voice filled with indignation on Loki’s behalf. “You now have the entire cosmos at your feet. Before you were restricted to where they could only go. Now you can go anywhere.” A pause. “They wanted to keep you weak.”

Loki ground his teeth together as the anger and resentment in him grew. 

“Keep you easier to control.” Thanos continued, “You who should be King. Loki the last son of the Jotunn royal line.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shit's about to go down next chapter!


	7. The World’s First Dish was Wrong

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Going forward this fic will have new chapters posted every Wednesday and Friday so this and The Hercules AU will end at the same time.

“Look I’m not going to keep talking circles with you!” Rhodey shouted at the lounging god.

Loki was lounging on his throne, his pose relaxed as he gave a lazy smirk to the angry centaur. 

“Just talk with him.” Rhodey ordered and that got Loki to raise his eyebrows at the centaurs audacity. 

“Giving a god-”

“Yeah, yeah.” Rhodey waved a dismissive hand and Loki glared at him. “I know the spiel.” Rhodey threw the god a parting look as he made for the exit. “Talk to Tony.” And with that Rhodey took off, Loki glaring at his back.

Letting out a heavy huff of breath Loki got up from his throne and headed towards the child's room. Honestly, he had been meaning to talk with Tony but simply didn’t have the time (or that was what he told himself). Finally, Tony’s guardian had had enough and berated Loki. Loki had of course talked circles around the centaur but Rhodey had a strange immunity or limit for Loki’s conversation manipulation. Eventually the centaur was able to jump out of Loki’s manipulations and cut right back to the heart of the issue. So now here Loki was, heading to Tony’s room. 

Pausing outside Tony’s bedroom Loki hesitated. Then an idea struck the Jotunn. With a wave of his hand a small basket filled with paints appeared. 

“Anthony?” Loki announced as he entered the room. 

Said child was currently on his bed, cocooned in his blankets. He sat up and popped his head out of his cocoon and gave Loki a cautious look. “Yeah?” 

Putting on a casual smile Loki held up the basket and Tony’s eyes immediately perked up upon seeing it. “My nails are atrocious so yours can’t be any better.” 

A smile spread on Tony’s face as he quickly and clumsily unwrapped himself from his blankets. “I want gold this time!”

Giving a more genuine smile Loki seated himself on the bed as he pulled out the green paint he would be using. This was not the first time Loki and Tony had had a nail painting session. Every so often they would each paint their toes and fingers. One time, Loki had knocked Rhodey with a sleep spell and they had painted the centaurs fingers and hooves. Rhodey hadn’t seemed to mind (though that could have been the centaurs boundless patience) but said he did not wish to partake in their paint sessions again. And so, this was something only Tony and Loki would do every so often. 

“I’m sorry.” Tony said after he had finished his left toenails. 

Loki looked up from where he was working on his own feet and gave the kid a perplexed look. However, Tony resolutely kept his stare on his own feet. 

“I didn’t mean you when I said...well...you know.” Tony muttered. “I’m sorry I said it, I shouldn’t have insulted Jotunns at all.” 

Loki’s heart skipped a beat. Tony, the small mortal child, apologized for saying something negative about Jotunns. Putting his own brush down Loki let out a breath. 

‘ _If one person knows the truth._ ’ Loki thought. ‘ _There's no harm in Tony knowing. Odin doesn't even know about him._ ’ Loki gulped and let out another steadying breath. 

Looking over at Tony and seeing the child's tense stance Loki realized he never responded. Clearing his throat Loki decided he would tell Tony the truth. 

“I understand why you think of Jotunns the way you do.” Tony hunched his shoulders in anticipation as Loki spoke. “But you should know the truth.” 

Tony looked over towards the horned god and Loki took the brush out of his hand and set it down. Putting himself in a more comfortable position Loki told Tony the truth of what really happened with Bestla, the Jotunns, and Odin. 

Loki took another calming breath as he tried to calm his mind. However, with each breath he’d just see Tony’s betrayed and upset face flash up. Tony had thrown such a tantrum after Loki had finished his story. Yet, Loki couldn’t blame him. 

Tony had already been betrayed by his father and now he felt another betrayal. Betrayed by something so fundamental, such a common base belief. To have that ripped away from you. Loki shuddered. He knew that sting, and thus did not begrudge Tony of his reaction. 

His reaction had been no better. In fact it was far, FAR worse. 

-

Loki had just renounced Odin, Frigga, and Thor as his family. He had run from them with a heavy and broken heart. He had run from everything back to Thanos and En Dwi Gast. 

Once in the Forgotten Realm and in front of Thanos and Gast’s door Loki collapsed. With little prodding he told them everything that had happened. 

“Why didn’t he say anything?!” Loki bellowed as he cried. “I renounce them and he says nothing! Do I truly mean that little?!” 

“Loki,” Thanos spoke in a comforting and there-for-you tone. “I feel it’s time we reveal the truth to you.” 

“Oh no!” Gast gasped. “It’s too soon. Look at him, he can’t handle it.” 

“Handle what?” Loki rasped. 

“Handle the truth of what actually happened to your parents.” Thanos voice seemed to resonate at his words. 

After Gast and Thanos had finished telling their tale. Loki had raged. 

“ **NO! NO! You Lie!** ” Loki screamed.

“Let it out.” Gast soothed only causing Loki to grow angrier. 

“ **It’s NOT true!** ” Tears were in Loki’s eyes as he continued to pace and scream. Then Loki grabbed his head and hunched into a fetal position on the ground. Tears freely flowing as he chanted “It’s not true.” over and over. 

“You only wish it not to be true.” Thanos said but Loki shook his head in denial. 

“You Lie!” Loki rasped and that seemed to tick Thanos off.

“If you require further proof then go seek it from Odin’s eye.” Thanos said in his booming voice that echoed throughout the realm. “He keeps the eye he lost in the War under lock and key in Asgard, correct? Push magic into it to see what it saw.” A pause as Loki continued to cry. “You will see we have not lied.” 

“We’ve only ever looked after you my King.” Gast cooed in a comforting tone and Loki just shook his head more. 

Eventually Loki flung his hand out and opened a portal for himself to fall through. He didn’t know where on Midgard he ended up nor did he care. He stumbled into an area he could use for shelter and continued to chant “It’s not true”. 

Eventually Loki emerged from his hiding spot. He felt drained. Looking at his blue hands and feeling the tears still frozen to his face Loki felt defeated. 

“What if it’s not a lie?” Loki thought aloud. He just wanted to not think or even feel anymore. 

Blinking slowly Loki tried to keep his thoughts from running away from him, reeling them in and suppressing them. Loki kept himself in this meditated half aware daze for some time. He didn’t even know how long. But eventually, his tears subsided and he just sat in his pale skin and green eyed form, staring unfocused at the distance.

Then he got up and made for Asgard. Using the rainbow bridge he arrived and slowly walked towards his room. 

His mind in the hazy state it was, Loki failed to realize the looks the Asgardians gave him as they took in his haggard, pale, and green eyed form. He also failed to take in the decorations for the Solar eclipse that was set to happen any day now. 

When full Solar eclipses were set to occur all Asgardians were required to come back to Asgard. A huge feast was held and Odin and other high gods would give speeches and toasts. It was always a large and long celebration, lasting throughout the day and night. Sometimes, Odin took this time to bestoy godhood status upon some Asgardians, changing them from simply immortal to a god (something only the Ruler of the Cosmos could do). 

Luckily, Loki did not run into Frigga, Thor, or Odin on his way to his room. Once inside he locked the door, teleported his pets to his bedside, and sprawled himself on top of his bed.

_“If you require further proof then go seek it from Odin’s eye. He keeps the eye he lost in the War under lock and key in Asgard, correct? Push magic into it to see what it saw. You will see we have not lied.”_

Loki slowly shook his head to try and rid himself of Thanos's lingering advice, but it kept persisting. Odin’s other eye had been lost in the War. But Thanos was right, it would have seen everything Odin saw before it was ripped from him. 

Odin kept it locked in his chambers, in a locked and enchanted box. Loki could pick the lock and disarm the enchantment. But he’d need to do it when there was no risk of running into Odin. 

Lazily Loki got up and looked out his window. He then took in the Solar Eclipse decorations and nodded solemnly. He would do it on the day of the solar eclipse. 

“It’s a lie.” Loki breathed out then went to collapse in his bed again.

When the day of the solar eclipse arrived, Loki teleported Jörmungandr into Odin and Frigga’s chambers; he then opened a portal for the snake to slither back into. 

“Is it empty?” Loki asked and Jörmungandr nodded. Giving a single nod Loki created another portal to the place in the Land of Living where he had meditated. “Go hide. Do not come out until I come for you.” He commanded then Fenrir and Jörmungandr went through the portal. 

“Just in case.” Loki whispered as he closed the portal. “...just in case.” He repeated.

Steeling himself he teleported into Odin and Frigga’s chambers then went to look for Odin’s eye. 

Meanwhile the Main Hall was filled with Asgardians as all of them returned to Asgard. Some had already gotten into the drinks; Brunnhilde, the goddess of wine, mead, and liquor was leading that crusade. Others were perusing the large and various food tables, like Volstagg the god of fatherhood. And still, others just greeted friends they had not seen for quite some time. Heimdall the god of journeys and travelers, had many people to greet as the god spent most of his time traveling. Traversing the open realms and guiding those that needed guiding. 

“All seeing and all hearing friend!” Thor boomed as he put his hand on Heimdall’s shoulder. “How have you been?” 

Heimdall let out a small chuckle “You know I cannot truly see and hear all. The mortals exaggerate.” He pulled Thor into a companionable hug. 

“I must confess, dear friend, that I may have had a hand in spreading those rumors.” Thor smiled and that got the dark skinned god to bark a laugh. 

“Truely?” Thor nodded and Heimdall laughed again. “I had thought perhaps it was Loki’s work.” 

At Loki’s name Thor’s good mood and smile immediately disappeared. He had been trying to make sense of everything but was unable to. Sif, the Warriors 3 and his parents had no explanation for what had happened to Loki. According to them, Loki had just snapped. He walked around in his blue form, glared at everyone, and would snap at anyone who approached him. Thor had tried to dig deeper but there was nothing they could offer. 

“Are you alright?” Heimdall asked gently after seeing Thor’s sadness. 

Thor waved him off then made an excuse to go grab a drink so he could do another walk around and look for Loki. Surely, the god had to be here

Loki finally got the box open and for a while just stared at the eyeball inside. He finally mustered the courage to lift a hand towards it, but stopped just before picking it up. 

‘ _It’s the only way.’_ His mind supplied and with a deep breath Loki gently picked up the eye. Holding it up he delicately pushed a memory recall spell into it and then the eye glowed and revealed to Loki the truth.

~~~~~~~<(-)>~~~~~~~

“Pregnant?!” Bor raged. “Farbauti is pregnant?!” 

“Yes!” Bestla seethed. 

They were in the Main Hall of Asgard. It was just as gold and splendid looking as it was today, though some of the decorative tapestries were different. Odin and Bestla stood before Bor who had just leaped up from his throne. 

Odin had the looks of a young man, one who had already entered adulthood, yet next to his mother he looked so small. Bestla was tall, about 2 heads taller than Odin and Bor. Bor had a long and braided beard and long, harried looking hair. 

“They said they never wanted a child. They talked of it so often. How could they change their minds now?!” Bestla rambled angrily and Odin adjusted his shoulders in discomfort. 

Odin was told by his love, the Jotunn Jord, that the King and Queen of the cosmos, Laufey and Farbauti, were expecting a child. She had shared it in secret but it had been such a shock and would change the order of things so drastically that he had to tell his parents. And now here they were. 

“Treachery! Treachery and lies!” Bor grumbled as he paced. “That’s all they ever spout.” He paced for a bit more time then began again. “This is them keeping us Asgardians in a lower station. I was to marry their heir so we Asgardians may rise up. They had no heir and thus I married you.” Bor gestured to Bestla who looked affronted and so Bor quickly grabbed his wife's hand and kissed it tenderly. “Make no mistake my love. I rejoice in our union but-”

“But them getting pregnant is to replace me and keep the power to themselves and away from the Asgardians.” Bestla finished and gave Bor a look of understanding as she caressed his face. “I know my love.” 

“I thought this as well.” Odin added, gaining his parents attention. “They are keeping Asgardians in a controlled position and refuse to see us as we should be seen.” 

Bestla looked her son and husband over then appeared thoughtful. “There is something we can do.” 

The plan was set into place. Bor and Bestla had sent letters to the Palace of Laufey and told them of Odin’s wish to announce his engagement to Jord. Laufey and Farbauti wrote back that they would attend so they could witness and bless another union between the Jotunns and Asgardians, just as Bestla and Bor predicted. Bor, Odin, Bestla, and other loyal Asgardians made ready to take the rainbow bridge to Jotunheim. The Asgardians were all carrying boxes, chests, and containers of some kind. Dowry gifts, they would tell the Jotunns, but truthfully inside them were weapons. 

Odin glanced at his parents then in a tone meant for their ears only said. “We agree Jord will be unharmed?” 

“Odin” Bor growled but Bestla simply laid a soothing hand on her son’s shoulder. 

“All will be well.” She promised. 

They arrived in Jotunheim and went directly to Jord’s family abode. They all ate and drank together. Then Bestla signalled Odin and Bor. Bor went over to talk with the Asgardians and Odin pulled Jord in front of the crowd. 

Upon seeing the two lovers, all the Jotunns present turned to give them their full attention. Thus not noticing the Asgardians sealing the doors. Odin began his engagement speech and made sure to keep a tight grasp of Jord’s hands. And then it happened. 

Bestla attacked Laufey and then all the Asgardian forces rushed the Jotunns. Jord tried to run into the fray but Odin begged her to stay with him.

“What are they doing?!” Jord screamed as she watched the carnage, struggling to pull herself away from Odin who was fighting to keep her close to him.

“This is for the best! Please Jord! Stay with me!” Odin pleaded and Jord looked horrified.

“NO!” Farbauti yelled. She was heavily injured but shielded her stomach with everything in her. Then she opened a portal and fell through it as a few spears and weapons were thrown at her. 

Jord screamed as she watched all this and Odin tried desperately to keep her in his arms, but then her screaming was cut off. Horrified Odin looked upon his mother who had just beheaded Jord. 

“It was for the best. None can know the truth.” Bestla then patted his shoulder and went to his father to ensure they had accounted for everyone.

Bestla and Bor had declared themselves the new rulers of the cosmos. But the Jotunns would not follow them. They fought the Asgardians tooth and nail. The Jotunns used their connections to the elements to destroy temples to the Asgardians and when the Asgardians would meet them in battle, they would not hold back in fighting them and it resulted in a lot of devastation. Many Asgardians and Jotunns died. 

Meanwhile Odin stayed in Asgard, in despair for his lost love. And so he did not know, nor was able to stop what happened next. 

When Bestla and Bor first declared themselves the new King and Queen of the Cosmos, Bestla took a step back and let Bor take charge. She reasoned to Bor it would help strengthen the image of Asgardians as more powerful. So she played the quiet Queen. 

As the war continued she knew too many were dying. So she enacted a back up plan and began to spin rumors. 

Bestla had blamed the death of Farbauti and Laufey on Bor. And had apparently managed to convince enough of the Jotunns that was the truth. And so she stripped Bor of his position. Then Bor was tried and killed in retribution. Bestla became the sole ruler of the cosmos and the Jotunns ceased the fighting and followed her. 

Hearing about his father's death Odin grew angrier than he thought possible with his mother. She had killed Jord and now his father?! He would not let this stand. Yet he had no way of actively fighting against her. She had tried to soothe him as she had after killing Jord.

“This is all for the best, we need the Jotunns loyalty and for that we needed a scapegoat ...It killed me to do it. But all is well now.” She had smoothed his hair. “You are now heir to the entire cosmos and I will ensure you have a bright future.” 

And so Bestla used the Jotunns to build great temples to the Asgardians, making Odin’s obviously the most important and grand. She also gave more resources to the Asgardians, making their realm shine and letting Jotunheim appear dull next to it. But Odin did not forgive her. He stewed in his anger. 

Then eventually he met Frigga. A warrior who appeared to have no equal as she quickly dispatched all her sparring partners, until Odin. Frigga at first tried to rebuff Odin. She did not agree with Bestla, whether it be how she ruled the realms or Bestla’s treatment of the Jotunns.

“It doesn’t matter that they instigated a war with us. They should not be treated as slaves to do her bidding.” 

Frigga of course did not know the truth. The only ones left who knew the truth were Odin and his mother. The other Asgardians who were present in Jord’s hall had all been killed in battle by now. 

Instead, everyone was originally told that Laufey and Farbauti were angered at the engagement and attacked the Asgardians. And so were killed but when told about this the Jotunns declared war on Asgard for they did not believe it. 

After Bestla had Bor killed, she claimed what actually happened was Bor started the fight that ended in Farbauti and Laufey’s death. However, Bestla never wanted a war with her two people, Jotunns and Asgardians. Yet once the war and fighting began what was she to do? She couldn’t stand alone against Bor. And so she leaked the truth out, till retribution was finally paid. 

And so most of the Asgardians placed a majority of the blame on Farbauti, Laufey, and the Jotunns for continuing the fighting. And the Jotunns blamed Bor for starting the fighting in the first place and forcing Bestla to lie and try to cover it up. 

Odin grew infatuated with Frigga, and as much as she tried to fight it, she also fell for him in turn. He agreed with her that the Jotunns were treated unfairly. He agreed his mother needed to be stopped. And so they amassed an army. Odin had taken a page out of his mother's book and changed the story of that day, though his was closer to the truth.

Odin had wished to marry Jord. His father had no idea about an attack, it was all Bestla. She was mad for power and had planned the attack. She had then instigated the war and kept it going to dwiddle the number of Asgardians down. When Bor tried to stop her she had Bor killed. All the while she kept Odin locked in Asgard, as she had after killing his love in front of him.

“I don’t want to lose you too.” Odin had said as he cradled Frigga’s hands in his own. “Just in case, please don’t join me at the front. Cover the rear and our retreat.” 

“You have a plan?” The young Asgardian Tyr asked. 

Odin took another page out of Bestla’s playbook and said they would do to her what she did to Jord. Odin travelled to Jotunheim where his mother stayed and suggested a joint feast to try and improve Asgardian and Jotunn relations. When Bestla seemed disinclined to the idea, Odin mentioned Frigga and how he wanted his mother to meet her. 

And so a feast was held in Jotunheim’s Palace. Odin told Frigga to not enter the Palace. To stay outside it and guard the exit, while he had a double in her place. So Frigga and three other Asgardians mingled around the outside of the Palace while the other Asgardians, including Odin and Tyr entered the Palace. 

It did not take long. Bestla was blind to the potential betrayal of her son. 

“Your own mother?” She gasped in pain as the attending Jotunns looked on in shocked horror. So far the gathered Asgardians hadn’t attacked them but kept them from rushing to Bestla’s rescue. 

“You killed my father and my first love.” Odin snarled.

“Oh my dear.” Bestla coughed. “You helped in all that.” And then Bestla revealed to everyone present the actual truth. 

All the Jotunns and gathered Asgardians now knew the truth of it. Bor, Bestla, and Odin had actively planned the murder of the King and Queen of the cosmos. The Jotunns looked stunned and horrified that they had been played for fools. The Asgardians looked bewildered and unsure but did not lower their weapons. Noting this Odin slashed at his mother, ending her, then yelled.

“For Asgard!” And just like that all the Asgardians attacked. 

“Leave none alive!” Odin ordered as he joined the fray and under his breath mumbled “None can know the truth.” 

More Jotunns poured into the Palace and Odin kept yelling to kill them all. Eventually Frigga was by his side. While fighting she tried to ask what had happened, and to Odin’s horror a Jotunn attempted to answer.

“They did this! They all killed-” 

Odin slashed their throat, then turned to Frigga and yelled “Behind you!” 

Frigga whipped around but found no immediate opponent. However then she was hit with something and it knocked her out and caused her to crumble to the floor. 

Odin picked her up and then the Asgardians retreated back to Asgard. There Odin gave a rallying cry of how the Jotunns instigated the war again. He said they wished to avenge their evil treacherous queen rather than follow a just Asgardian. 

Odin then gently laid Frigga in a bed and placed a stasis spell on her. She would not know. He could not let her know. 

Tyr joined him in the room. “My King?” 

“They can teleport and travel to all realms with ease. Some may have escaped.” Odin turned and gave Tyr a hard look “None are to know.” Tyr nodded.

And so the final war really began. It raged on multiple realms. The Asgardians hunted each Jotunn down and slew them. And even when some tried to issue for peace Odin cut them down. Odin led the charge on the purpuseful genocide of the Jotunns.

~~~~~~~<(-)>~~~~~~~

By the end Loki couldn’t breath. Ice was all around him and tears were falling freely and frozen on his face. His red eyes were wide with betrayal and anguish. 

The Jotunns were not stupid, were not baseline or treacherous! If anything their fault was their loyalty. They were too loyal to Laufey and Farbauti. They did not believe they had acted against the Asgardians. They were smart and intelligent. They were nothing like Loki was taught they were. What Loki was taught he was.

And his parents. His birth parents! They were...Loki choked on a sob as he collapsed completely to the floor. It was too much. Loki was a runt to be sure for his parents were tall and glorious, regal and splendid, and Loki never got to meet them because of Odin! Odin and his family’s crazed lust for more power.

Thanos and Gast had not lied. They did not tell Loki the true depths of everything but they had not lied. Odin did actively engage in the slaughter of all Jotunns. Odin did lie and scheme his way to power. Odin did help plan the murder of his parents. If it weren’t for Odin and his family, Loki would be the heir to the cosmos! Loki would have everything! 

‘ _Instead they give you scraps and tell you to be content.’_ Loki’s mind whirled. ‘ _They put you down your entire life. Said your race was nothing but idiots and liars. But what of them! They lied and schemed their way to power. Odin took your birthright, your parents, your race! He took everything from you!_ ’ Loki curled into himself more. ‘ _It’s time you take everything back!_ ’ Letting out a shuddering breath Loki opened his red eyes and glared at the space in front of him.

Loki gently put the eye back then teleported himself to the vault underneath the Palace. Here Odin placed all his most prized items. Loki was looking for one in particular. The Casket of the Jotunns, it allowed the wielder to control all the elements of the cosmos, not just the ones you had an affinity for.

Loki remembered Odin bringing it out to stop a large flood from drowning a continent. Loki remembered chuckling at a large ark some humans had built in preparation for the flood. Odin had reprimanded him for laughing at the mortals.

Loki growled at the memory and continued to search for the Casket. It didn’t belong to Odin. None of this did! Not the Casket, not the cosmos, not the crown! All of it was Loki’s by right! He was the rightful heir! Odin had just stolen everything from him! 

‘ _And now it’s time to take it all back._ ’ Loki thought as he came upon the Casket.

It was a pulsing blue, the same shade as his skin. It had two handle bars on either side of it and grasping both of them Loki lifted it. 

“Mother have you seen Loki?” Thor asked, coming up to her side. He had been looking for him the entire festival but could not find a trace of the man. 

“No.” Frigga wrung her hands together as she too had searched for Loki. “I don’t know what to do.” She let out and Thor could see the stress radiating off of her. 

“I’ll find him and talk to him.” Thor promised, giving his mother a reassuring smile. 

“I just wish I knew what happened? My poor little boy. What changed? To make him say...” She agonized and Thor could only pull her into a hug. 

Odin then banged his mighty spear and waited for the crowd to quiet down. Alone in front of his throne, the King looked over all that was gathered. Once all was quiet he began his speech for the night. 

“My people! It is times like these that I am truly thankful for-”

Suddenly a portal opened up besides Odin and the old god jolted back from it. All the Asgardians gasped and a few tried to grab at their weapons. Thor and Frigga who were just at the foot of the thrones gaped in confusion as Loki staggered through the portal. 

“Loki!” Practically everyone said with varying tones of voice. 

Loki was blue skinned and red eyed, and in one hand he lazily held the Casket of the Jotunns. His face was covered in frozen tears and his hair looked a mess. 

“Did I interrupt?” Loki questioned in a sassy and biting tone. He then turned his attention to Odin. “Did I mess up your plans?” Odin looked confused but was trying to cover it and Loki’s bottom lip quivered. “Did I-” He gasped as a sob tried to overcome him but he pushed it back and let out a semi-hysterical laugh. 

“Loki…” Odin breathed and from the foot of the throne Frigga reached out her hand as if to grab at the Jotunn. 

Loki straightened up, glared, and gave Odin a snarl, then in his most booming voice he announced. “I know!” 

Confused mummerings rumbled throughout the room as Odin looked to share the masses' confusion. This only proved to make Loki angrier. Taking a step away from Odin, Loki snarled.

““None are to know”?! Well I know!” Finally a look of realization lit up in Odin’s eye and Loki screamed. “ **You took everything from me!** ” 

“Loki!” Odin held up his hand in placation and Loki’s eyes darted to his spear but then quickly focused back on Odin’s face.

“ **Tell them!** ” The blue god shot an arm out towards the gathered crowd. “Tell them the truth! The actual truth!” 

“Loki what are you talking about?” Frigga asked in a pleading tone. 

However, he didn’t even give her a glance. His eyes were resolutely focused on Odin. When Odin remained silent and unmoving, the Jotunn shook his head. 

“Fine!” He spat “I will!” 

“Loki stop!” Odin ordered but Loki only turned his body and attention to everyone gathered. 

“Don’t bother denying it, I got all the information from your eye! I saw everything you saw!” He gave Odin a side glare. “Bestla alone did not plan the murder of my parents! They all did!” 

Silence greeted his announcement, but Loki wasn’t deterred. Odin remained rooted and glared at Loki, Loki returned the glare and continued. 

“Bestla, Bor, and Odin planned the murder of my parents because they were pregnant with **ME!** ” Loki once again turned his full attention to Odin as he continued to berate the man he had once considered his dad. 

“You wanted power so badly! You murdered my parents because they were going to have an heir that wasn’t **your** family! And when the Jotunns learned the truth, what did you do?!” Loki paused for a breath but Odin still didn’t react.

“WHAT DID YOU DO?!” Loki screamed. “You killed them!...You killed all of them!” Breathing heavily Loki jabbed a finger at Frigga. “All so she wouldn’t find out what really happened!” 

“Enough of this!” Odin barked taking a step towards Loki, but Loki would not back down. 

He stepped closer and screamed. “You are a king-slaying, genocidal, fool!” 

“I said ENOUGH!” Odin screamed and slammed his spear so hard on the ground, the tiles cracked. 

Then it was just Odin and Loki breathing and glaring at each other.

“I have had enough.” Loki breathed. “You took everything from me.” Loki’s face contorted into one of pure hatred. “So I’m taking it back!” 

Fire and Ice erupted. A wall of fire prevented anyone from approaching the throne, cutting a clean line separating the area of the room where the thrones were from the general public. Thor and Frigga had to jump back in order to not be caught in the blaze. Meanwhile, Loki slammed Odin into the far wall with an ice blast and then froze him to it. 

“LOKI!” Thor yelled as he looked through the flames to see Loki turn and flee out the side door. 

Bracing himself Thor jumped through the fire and raced after Loki’s retreating back. He had to unclasp his cape as it caught fire, but he didn’t even slow down to do so.

“Loki! Wait!” Thor continued to yell as he and Loki rounded into a hallway; Loki still running as fast as he could. “ **Loki please!** ”

Finally, that got Loki to pause. Slowing to a stop Loki panted heavily but didn’t make to turn around. Thor also stopped where he was then slowly began to take cautious steps forward. Loki’s back was completely taunt. And his grip on the casket tight, almost desperate.

“This has to stop. Whatever it is that you’re going through, we’ll fix it together.” Thor extended his arm and hand as he continued his slow walk towards Loki. “Just like we’ve always done. You and me. Together.”

“ **No!** ” Loki fired back. He whipped his body around to face Thor, so fast most his hair landed in his face and he did nothing to clear it. “This has to stop now! This thing where you think that you’ve been there for me! When you don’t even realize how you condescend me! The way you’ve always done!” 

Thor looked genuinely hurt as Loki laid into him but quickly pushed it down. Walking closer to Loki, Thor tried to reason.

“Loki listen to me. You know that isn’t true” Loki scoffed but Thor continued. “I don’t know about back there.” Loki glared down the hallway but then quickly went back to skittishly watching Thor approach. “But I’m here for you! I’m on your side!”

‘ _Run!_ ’ Loki’s thoughts repeatedly screamed and Loki shut his eyes to block them out. 

Thor still had an arm outstretched to Loki and the other was clasped over the blonde’s heart. 

“Please! I love you!” 

Loki’s eyes popped open at that as he let out a shuddering breath, some of his frozen tears melting. Thor’s eyes and face softened at watching Loki’s reaction. Slowly he continued walking till he was almost within arms reach of the blue god. 

Loki looked exhausted and drained. Thor was ready. The moment he was within arms reach, he would wrap Loki in the tightest hug and shield him from everything. He didn’t know what to make of everything that was just revealed or said but he knew he needed to get to Loki. 

“There he is!” Tyr shouted as he rounded the corner. “Keep him there my prince!” 

A solid wall of rock shot up in front of Tyr causing said god to run right into it. Preventing him from going any further. Meanwhile, between Loki and Thor a thick sheet of ice appeared. 

Thor immediately slammed both fists on the ice, but it held fast. In desperation he cried. “LOKI!” 

Said man was looking at the Casket in his hand, his face hidden behind a waterfall of hair. “I thought you were different... I keep giving you chances to hurt me.” 

“Loki please! I am on your side!” Thor cried. “Talk to me! We can figure this out!” 

“There’s nothing to figure out Odinson.” Loki stated calmly, detached. “I know the truth now.” 

“Loki!” 

“I’ve always known where we stood. Me with the luckless, you with the blessed.” Loki said with some bitterness and resentment leaking into his otherwise detached voice. “I've tried to jump that great divide, but I've never got the chances you were given. And now!” Loki let out a laugh that bordered on hysterical. 

“Thor!” Loki barked “You don't know how much I've been denied!” Finally Loki moved his hair out of his face and gave the blonde a glare filled with anger. “But not anymore!” 

With that Loki turned and ran down the hallway. Calling after him again, Thor pounded on the ice. Then holding out his hand, Thor summoned Mjolnir. Once it crashed through the wall and came into his palm, he swung. With the ice destroyed, Thor ran after Loki. While running he looked out a window and saw Loki outside running towards the end of the rainbow bridge. 

“Loki!” Thor roared as he flew over to him. 

Thor landed with a thud and summoned a lightning bolt just in front of the Jotunn, causing him to jolt to a stop. Whipping his head around Loki glared at the blonde. Thor just splayed his arms open. 

“I just want to talk.”

“Till your cavalry arrives?!”

“I didn’t plan that and you know it!”

“Enough! I don’t want to talk! I am done with you Asgardians! You have wronged me for the last time!”

“I have never meant to wrong you!” 

For a few seconds they just stared at each other; Loki glaring and Thor giving pleading eyes. 

“Don’t leave.” Thor begged.

Thor then felt the rainbow bridge flex or move in an odd way. Looking down, Thor watched as all the color suddenly drained away and the bridge seemingly wiggled. 

“Loki?!” Thor looked back up but Loki only looked at him from the corner of his eye as he stepped into a portal. 

“ **LOKI!** ” Thor screamed as he rushed forward to try and grab at the man. 

Turning to the blonde, Loki’s eyes widened and he pushed a gust of wind which launched Thor back. Then he disappeared and with him, the end of the rainbow bridge cracked and started to splinter, some of it breaking and falling away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. Loki and Tony spa sessions are cannon in this AU.
> 
> 2\. So you should all watch / listen to “Crossing the Line” from the Tangled TV show because it’s a PERFECT thorki song and a lot of the ending dialogue is straight from it. It just fits so well! 
> 
> 3\. So you know how Ragnarok starts off with a great winter? Hence why Loki remains in his icy blue form. Then you know then the next step is the sun going away? Hence the solar eclipse. >:3 mythology nerd alert!


	8. Puppet King

Loki was walking into his Throne Room, having just arrived back from helping deal with some unruly shades. Stretching his arms above his head Loki let out a sigh then noticed Tony standing in one of the doorways leading into the inner Palace chambers. 

They hadn’t spoken since Loki revealed everything to him. But now Tony looked determined, nervous and apprehensive but determined. Loki quirked an eyebrow and Tony took a deep breath.

“You weren’t lying?” 

The god shook his head and muttered “No.” 

The kid let out a huge huff of air as his body appeared to get weighed down. He pushed away from the doorframe and walked over to Loki’s throne. Once there Tony squatted on the floor next to it. His face one of hurt and confusion.

Loki kept his face emotionless then sat on his throne and leaned over his armrest to look at the kid. After a beat of silence where Loki debated saying anything Tony spoke.

“So are all fathers just….awful?” The kid turned his hurt eyes up to Loki. 

Loki’s eyes flitted away for a moment. “I never got to meet my actual father.” Looking back, Loki was able to catch Tony hanging his head in defeat. “But I do know the god of fatherhood and… he’s a great Dad.” 

“Lord Volstagg?”

Loki nodded. “He has many, many faults.” That got a smile out of the child. “But with all his children he has always been an outstanding father.” 

“How many kids does he have?” 

Loki scoffed with a smile. “I stopped counting. He’s had so many, with so many mortals. But he took care of each of them and their immediate descendents.” Tony smiled then his smile dimmed and his face became morose again. 

“Guess we’re just the unlucky ones, huh?” 

Loki’s own mood sullied and he frowned as he leaned back in his throne. “Seems so.” 

Then Tony’s head popped up over his armrest and the kid pulled and leaned his elbows on it. “What did you do when you found out? I mean….” He trailed off with an inquisitive look on his young face. 

The god pressed his lips into a thin line then leaned forward. “To explain it, I have to first tell you of a meeting that led to everything.” 

And so Loki told Tony of Thanos and En Dwi Gast. He then told him how they first told Loki the truth, then how he verified it, and then how he fled Asgard; violently closing the rainbow bridge and thus closing Asgard off from all the realms as he fled. 

-

Loki launched Thor back so as to be sure the blonde wouldn’t fall after Loki closed Asgard’s realm by disabling the rainbow bridge. After the portal closed Loki just stood there and breathed as everything he did and learned crashed down on him again. 

“My King?” Gast inquired, jolting Loki to the present. 

“You were right.” Loki gasped then turned to the door which held Thanos and Gast. “You,” A shuddering breath left him as he found himself crying again. Resisting the urge to crumble to the floor Loki shook his head to try and rid himself of his tears. 

“You were right about everything!” Loki looked to the casket in his hand and dropped it as he pushed his back against the door and slowly slid down it. 

“I confronted them. I confronted Odin and he denied it! Tried to shut me up! Then Thor-” Loki shook his head violently. 

“They will come after you.” Gast urged and Loki sniffed derisively as he shook his head in the negative.

“I closed the realm. All the Asgardians are now trapped in Asgard” The blue god bared his teeth. “Let them rot there” He spat.

“You think that is enough?” Thanos finally spoke. “You did not watch enough of the final war if you think that will keep you safe from Odin.” 

“He is locked away in Asgard.” Loki shot back.

“He killed all the Jotunns!” Thanos shouted and Loki startled as he continued “How do you think he accomplished that?!” Thanos’s tone calmed down a smidge, “You are not the only Jotunn to have thought to close him out. To try and lock away the issue. He knows where the rift between realms are weak.” 

Loki gasped in fear as Thanos continued. 

“Thor’s Jotunn blood shines through in his power over thunder and lightning. Didn’t you wonder what Odin’s affinity was?” Thanos did not wait for an answer. “It’s travel.”

“No!” Loki gasped.

“He can find where the seams are thin and slip in, just as you did when you first arrived here.”

“NO!” Loki’s fear was growing but Thanos only continued talking.

“He will slip through each realm till he finds you and kills you. Finally ending the rightful ruling lineage and killing the last Jotunn!” 

Loki’s heartbeat was in his ears as he processed all this. Of course Odin could travel the realms. It’s how he got to each Jotunn’s hiding place. And now he’d use it to take care of Loki. Thor could not travel the realms, neither could Frigga. Only Odin. Odin, who had killed so many Jotunns before, killed his parents, only he would be able to get out of Asgard and…

“What do I do?!” 

“Free us!” Thanos boomed causing Loki to whip his head towards the door. “Open the door and free us!” 

They never discussed them being locked away. Loki knew it, logically. Thanos and Gast were locked behind the door in this locked away realm. Thanos and Gast had even told Loki more creatures/people were locked behind the other various doors scattered throughout the Realm. However, everytime Loki thought to ask why they were imprisoned or to bring it up, a voice in his head would strongly urge against it. And Thanos and En Dwi Gast never brought up being let out. Never even suggested it, till now.

“We will protect you!” Gast added emphatically. “My King, we will do everything in our power to protect you!” 

Loki tried to think of the ramifications of letting them out. They had been locked up for eons. Loki hadn’t seen them in Odin’s memories so they may have been locked away before any of the wars. And Loki didn’t know who locked them away. ‘ _What had they done that was so terrible as to get them locked away in a realm meant to be forgotten?_ ’ Loki thought.

‘ _Yet, they have only ever helped you._ ’ Another part of Loki reasoned. ‘ _They taught you about your powers, they comforted you, they told you the truth. They have always been on your side._ ’

Unbidden and unprompted, Thor’s words popped into the forefront of Loki’s mind.

_“But I’m here for you! I’m on your side!”_

__

__

_“Loki please! I am on your side!”_

Grabbing and shaking his head violently, Loki grit his teeth and banished the memory away.

“Without us, Odin will kill you.” Thanos declared and Loki knew it to be true.

Standing up, Loki moved the casket back then placed both hands on the door. 

“Swear you will be loyal to me!” Loki demanded.

“We swear.” En Dwi Gast and Thanos answered immediately, in sync. 

With that Loki pushed on the door. The runes on the door lit up and Loki instantly felt his magic flare to life. Briefly his hands iced over then the ice melted away and the runes lights dimmed. It seemed the door tested if he was a true Jotunn or not. However, before Loki could ponder the meaning and ramifications of that, the runes lights completely dimmed and the door moved to open. 

Once the door was open a crack, a blinding array of colors raced at Loki’s face. He gasped and instinctively went to guard himself. When nothing happened he opened his eyes and found the colors gone. And instead all Loki saw was En Dwi Gast and Thanos standing there. 

En Dwi Gast looked like an Asgardian. He was tall, had stylized silver/white hair, and he had a silvery blue stripe running down the center of his lower lip and chin. His clothes looked ratty and ragged, though that was to be expected for how long he must have worn them, trapped in here. 

Thanos was unlike anything Loki had seen before. He was tall; as tall as the frost giants Loki saw in Odin’t memories. He was bald, and he had odd multiple vertical lines running from his bottom lip to his chin. Not to mention he was purple.

Thanos and Gast both smiled then bent the knee to Loki and said, “My King”

Loki smiled as a feeling of rightness overtook him. Standing tall, Loki closed his eyes and basked in the attention and failed to notice Thanos and Gast’s smirks. 

For that blinding array of color Loki had first seen was Thanos and Gasts’s true powers being released. Finally, they now had a firm and unmoving hold over Loki’s mind. Thanos had always had a foothold, ever since Loki’s first encounter with them. But now, his mind was fully in Thanos’ grasp. 

Upon opening his eyes again Loki bid them to rise, none the wiser that his eyes now shone a blinding light blue color. 

“Well my darling, seeing you with my own eyes!” Gast put the back of his hand over his forehead. “I may swoon.” 

“My King, in order to protect you further you will need to free the others.” Thanos gestured to the other doors and hallways. 

Loki looked where he directed, “How shall we get over there?” 

Thanos smirked in victory. Loki didn’t even question why they all had to be released. Didn’t even think to turn the idea of not obeying around in his head. 

“Why, with your delightful teleportation of course.” Gast purred. Then draped an arm around Loki’s shoulders and into the god’s ear whispered. “And please call me Grandmaster from now on.” 

“Very well.” Loki agreed and the Grandmaster grinned in absolute glee. 

Shortly after Loki had released everyone from their containment. And with Thanos at his side, each had bent the knee and pledged their loyalty to the King. Loki had then transported them all to Midgard. 

Once there, Grandmaster gathered all the now freed creatures together. 

“Hey everybody!” The Grandmaster cheered. “Isn’t it great to be out?!” That was met with various agreements and cheers. “And we owe it all to our King, the rightful ruler of the cosmos, the last Jotunn, you know him, you love him, you’ve sworn loyalty to him! Give it up for King Loki!” With that everyone cheered and Loki’s face instantly bloomed into a genuine look of pure happiness. 

Spreading out his arms and cheering with everyone, Loki soaked up the attention. When it quieted down he looked over the crowd and smiled. Thanos then put a hand on his shoulder and gave a nod, then he turned to the crowd. 

“Our King has been robbed of his birthrights!” Thanos boomed as everyone listened with rapt attention. “He is the only living Jotunn. The only one who has the power and right to travel and rule the cosmos. We are to be his shield. We are to keep him safe and under our wings. We will take back all that was stolen and place our King!” Thanos gestured to Loki, “On his rightful throne!” 

The crowd again gave a raucous round of cheers and the Grandmaster encouraged Loki to go to them and soak it up. “Live in the moment darling. Go to your people.” 

After Loki was out of earshot, the Grandmaster while keeping his eyes fixed on the Jotunn asked Thanos. “Think they got the message?” 

“If they don’t they will come to me with questions and I will explain in plainer terms.” Thanos answered giving the Grandmaster a glance. “We need Loki, he is the only Jotunn. We need his power and abilities.”

“Oh I know.” The Grandmaster smiled. “We just have to keep him happy and under our thumbs.” Thanos smiled and nodded. “Or under….other things.” Thanos grimaced and gave Gast a look. Gast however, was too busy leering at Loki to notice. 

Loki eventually went to find his pets. When he returned he found a good part of their army gone. When he asked where they went Thanos answered that they had gone to destroy some of the temples around the Land of the Living dedicated to the Asgardians. 

“Why?” Loki asked while keeping a hand on Fenrir. His pets seemed to be really on edge. It was probably due to all the new people and surroundings.

“Well we can’t have them being beseeched and thus coming after you.” The Grandmaster explained as he waltzed over to Thanos and Loki. 

The Grandmaster glanced at the wolf, who growled at him and decided to walk around to Loki’s other side. 

“We would have run it by you, but time is of the essence.” Thanos added. “To our knowledge none have been beseeched yet.”

“And we didn’t want to wait till they were.” The Grandmaster made to put his arm around Loki but Jörmungandr unwrapped himself from Loki’s neck and hissed at the man in warning. “Ah!” The older immortal immediately yanked his arm away. 

“I see.” Loki nodded. “Then I suppose it was a good move.” 

“Why don’t you get your...animals more acclimated. They seem tense.” Thanos suggested and Loki nodded as he walked away. Jörmungandr turned and gave another hiss to En Dwi Gast who glared at the snake. 

A few days later, Fenrir and Jörmungandr seemed no less tense than the first day. Sticking close to Loki and refusing to leave his side. 

“Perhaps you should make them go elsewhere for a time.” The Grandmaster suggested. 

Loki looked from his pets to the Grandmaster. “I don’t-”

“It would do them some good.” The Grandmaster urged. “They need to run around, stretch, do animal things! Here they’re cramped up at your side. I mean you even sleep with them by your side.” He grumbled and Fenrir let out a low growl. “It’s off putting to your people.”

Loki remained silent and so Thanos -who happened to overhear- added his opinion. “I agree. Sending them to another part of Midgard or another realm may be for the best. They have growled and hissed at one too many of our men.” 

Loki still remained silent and his face was one of frustration as his inner mind was in turmoil. He didn’t want to send Jörmungandr and Fenrir away. But Thanos and the Grandmaster made good points. Jörmungandr and Fenrir seemed upset, and seemed to try and keep everyone away from Loki. Yet...Loki didn’t want to send them away. He loved them. He wanted them near him.

“My King? You know we only suggest what's best for you.” The Grandmaster purred.

“No!” Loki gasped then blinked and seemed taken aback by his own word. “No they will stay.” Loki took a calming breath then turned and looked at both Thanos and the Grandmaster. “I want them with me.” 

For a moment, Thanos and the Grandmaster only stared at Loki. Then slowly Thanos gave a brisk nod. “Then it shall be so.” 

With that Loki felt a weight was taken off his shoulders and he relaxed. 

Meanwhile, Thanos and the Grandmaster shared a look. It seemed their control over Loki had a limit. 

Shortly after that, Thanos and the Grandmaster suggested to Loki it was time to take the fight to Asgard. Thanos and the Grandmaster had been talking often of the threat Odin presented. Reminded him of all the pain and suffering the Asgardians had caused him, of everything Odin had stolen from him. And so, Loki didn’t hesitate to agree to their plan.

Thanos rallied the army as the Grandmaster prepared Loki to give the final command and open the portal for them. After Thanos finished, Loki stepped forward.

“As Thanos said, today we will take back what was stolen! We will right the many wrongs of Odin the fool!” The crowd cheered then silenced themselves as Loki added “Part of that is keeping the Asgardians alive.” The crowd was silent and many eyes turned to Thanos and the Grandmaster who nodded in agreement to Loki’s announcement. “Disarm them, incapacitate them, but do not kill them!” Loki ordered. “They will live to see me take back what is rightfully mine!” At that, everyone cheered. 

-

“Now you can’t tell anyone about this.” Loki said, jolting Tony out of the story

“WHAT?!” The kid yelled in disappointment 

“No, you aren’t allowed.”

“Come on! Are you kidding?!” 

“Not to Rhodey, Jarvis, anyone.” Loki continued as if the mortal hadn’t said anything. 

Tony pouted then glared at the god. “Then I think you’re making this up!” 

“What? I am not!” Loki defended giving the kid an offended look.

“You so are!” 

“No! I am telling you what happened.” 

And so the two continued to bicker and needle each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. Do you know how long I have wanted to write Grandmaster instead of En Dwi Gast?? A long Time! 
> 
> 2\. Grandmaster is a true sleeze and Loki is lucky his pets are so protective of him or the Grandmaster may have assaulted him


	9. Battle in Asgard

“So what happened next?” Tony asked impatiently as he drummed his fingers on the armrest.

Loki thought for a minute then his face spasmed as he recalled the next part. 

“What?” Tony asked more delicately. 

Loki swallowed audibly and said “Thor.” 

Thor was in his chambers. He didn’t know what to do at this point. He felt he couldn’t trust his father. Couldn’t confide in his friends, who like most of the Asgardians, had written Loki’s rant off as hysterics and were angry at the Jotunn for trapping them all in Asgard. 

However, Thor was inclined to believe Loki. He may have debated it more but when he found his father in his chambers holding what was left of the other eye. Thor’s mind was made up. Odin had claimed he found it like that, that Loki crushed it. But Thor didn’t believe him, and the evidence wasn’t on Odin’s side. 

Letting out a deep sigh Thor stood and made to exit his chambers when he heard something behind him. Whipping around his heart skipped a beat as he saw the top of Loki’s head come out of the portal that had just appeared. 

“Loki!” Thor rushed to him and before anymore could be said or done, swept Loki up into his arms. 

Loki gave a cry of surprise as Thor swung him in a circle. 

“Loki you’ve returned!” Thor cheered then set the slimmer man down but did not release him from his embrace. “We have so much to discuss-”

“Did you mean it?!” Loki interrupted, shoving at Thor’s chests to try and put some distance between him and the blonde. 

“What?” 

“Did you mean it?! Are you on my side?!” Loki questioned harshly as he tried to pull away from Thor. Loki’s hands were on Thor’s chest as he tried to push away but the blonde still had his hands gripping Loki’s waist. 

“Ye- Loki!” Thor startled as he was able to get a good look at Loki’s eyes. “Your eyes!” 

“Thor!” Loki scolded, but Thor remained open mouthed as he gawked. “Focus! If you are on my side then don’t fight!” 

“Your eyes are blue! Why are they-?!...Don’t fight?” Thor’s brain finally caught up to what Loki said and he gave the man an inquisitive look. 

And then Thor could hear it. The sounds of battle. 

Thor’s eyes immediately jolted to his window but Loki grabbed his face and turned it back towards him. 

“Listen to me!” Loki commanded. “Don’t fight! If you are on my side, you won’t fight me.” 

At that Thor shoved Loki aside and made for the window. Outside was pandemonium, an army was pouring out of a portal and overtaking the Asgardians. He saw Sif fighting a blue creature that wielded a long warhammer and the Warriors Three fighting other fearsome creatures. 

“Do you have a part in this?!” Thor roared as he turned back to glare at the god in his room. 

Loki balled his fists as he returned the glare. “Are you on my side or not Thor?!” 

“Loki this is madness!” Thor yelled back but Loki only glared at the blonde. Thor returned the glare then summoned mjolnir to his hand.

Loki quickly coated his hands in green magic, but Thor only gave him a disappointed and hurt look then launched himself out the window. 

“So you didn’t fight him?” Tony asked and Loki tilted his head.

Honestly, he had been ready to fight Thor. He hadn’t wanted to. He wanted the blonde to say he was on Loki’s side and just join him. However, Loki was prepared to fight him. A part of him craved fighting him. But Thor was better than him. Thor could tell something was wrong and refused. He didn’t join Loki, but he also didn’t fight him. 

“Thor wouldn’t fight me.” Loki clarified then continued. “But he nor the Asgardians could stand up against the army I had amassed. And soon all of them were bound and chained with magic dampeners.” 

The Asgardians were bound and pushed into the Main Hall with the army. There, the Grandmaster stood next to the thrones. He looked over the crowd and smiled. 

“How's everyone feeling tonight?” He greeted and their army cheered while the Asgardians grumbled, some throwing insults. Odin, Thor and Frigga only glared up at the man. 

“You-” Odin began but the Grandmaster cut him off. 

“That’s good, very good. Now! It’s time to right a wrong! A wrong that was unjust, unfair, and honestly rude.” He gave Odin a pointed look then continued “It’s time for everyone to meet the rightful ruler of the cosmos. The actual heir to the throne, and not some two-bit usurper. Everyone give it up for his highness Loki Laufeyson!” 

The army broke into cheers as Loki teleported himself and Thanos to appear next to the Grandmaster. Loki smiled at the applause but his smile stiffened as he saw Thor’s thunderous expression of anger and hurt as well as Frigga’s look of confusion and anguish. However, when his eyes drifted to Odin and saw the look of outrage and anger, he reveled in it. 

Standing in front of the throne Loki turned and gingerly sat down upon it. As he did so he felt a swell of happiness rush over him. This was where he was always supposed to be. He was meant to be king. And now he was.

“All hail King Loki!” Thanos boomed and the army then chanted this three times. 

Loki closed his eyes and smiled a genuine smile as he let this victory wash over him. Yet when he opened his eyes and looked at the crowd he could only notice the disgruntled and disgusted Asgardians. None of them cheered. None of them looked even slightly happy. 

But this was everything being set right! Odin had stolen Loki’s birthright and now he had it back. 

“I think some sour faces are displeasing our King.” The Grandmaster declared. “Come on guys, be good sports about this!” He wagged his finger at the crowd and some creatures began to jostle the Asgardians nearest them. 

Loki held up a hand to halt the jostling and the Grandmaster. “I understand.” Loki said calmly. “I know this is an adjustment….Odin has lied for so long. You are all still under his deception.” Loki raised a hand to his chest. “But this is justice. Everything was taken from me and now I’m taking it back.” 

“This is not justice!” Tyr shouted and made to stand but was shoved back down. 

“YOU!” Loki began but was cut off by the Grandmaster.

“Do not raise your voice against the King! Can you lot do anything politely?!” 

“This is an excellent time to assert yourself.” Thanos said in what may have attempted to be a whisper but everyone heard him. “Kill him or better yet Odin. Make it known that you are not a King to be trifled with.” 

Gasps reverberated throughout the hall but Loki only stared at the floor. 

“It is tempting.” Loki admitted. “But no. They need time.” Then turning his attention to everyone Loki said “You will all see that this is how it should be. Odin was never meant to rule the cosmos. I was!” Still the Asgardians looked unimpressed and disgusted. “His family planned and committed regicide then genocide! He is not the rightful King! I am!” 

“Loki!” Frigga cried. 

Loki looked at her and though no words were said, Loki felt something in him waver, just as something in Frigga’s eyes sharpened. She blinked and her face immediately changed from concern to analyzing. Thanos gripped the Jotunn's shoulder to get his attention, drawing his eyes away from Frigga. 

“I urge you to get rid of Odin; he has caused enough pain. If you allow him to live he will only sow more seeds of discontent and lies.”

“I agree.” The Grandmaster added and gave the old god bound on the ground an analyzing look. “Even now he holds himself as if he is the victim instead of the abuser.” 

Loki made to say something but Thanos spoke again. 

“He has hurt you so much my King, allow me to end him. I will make it so he can never harm you again.” Thanos squeezed Loki’s shoulder. “I have always suggested what is best for you,” Loki squeezed his eyes shut. “You know this.” 

‘ _Kill him! Kill him now! He deserves it! No! He deserves less, he deserves to watch!’_ Eyes shooting open Loki jolts from his throne. 

“Odin King-slayer and genocidal fool.” Loki addressed, and the old god grit his teeth. “I want you to watch as I take back everything you stole from me. I want you to see how much better a king I am than you could ever strive to be! I want you to live because I am not you. I am better than you!” 

Loki let his announcement wash over everyone then looked one last time at the other Asgardians. Again all looked disgusted and angry at Loki. 

His stomach turning and his heart aching Loki returned to his throne. “Take them to the dungeons.” And so all the Asgardians were locked away in the dungeons below the Palace. 

The Grandmaster helpfully suggested before the battle that Loki should teleport his pets into their old room, which he did before meeting with Thor. Now Loki was tempted to go release them but Thanos and the Grandmaster advised against it and he found himself agreeing.

Meanwhile in the dungeons, the Asgardians were plotting their battle strategy. However before they could, they all got into a verbal fight. Eventually it was resolved but it took up a large chunk of time. Thor then….

“What happened to the details? Tony broke in.

“Excuse me?”

“You had all these details but now I get brief summaries?” Tony held up his hands and imitated Loki’s voice. “And so sadly I sat alone on this blue moss covered rock for approximately 3 days and then stuff happened and I won.” Tony gave a deadpanned look. “That’s the equivalent of what’s happening here.” 

Loki sighed and rubbed a hand down his face. “Anthony.” 

“Just be consistent.” Tony chided. 

“I can’t.” He finally admitted. “I don’t...remember everything.” 

“Huh?” 

“I don’t remember much after the Asgardians were taken away.”

“Really?” 

“Yes. I was...unsatisfied with…..everything.” Loki let out. “I expected them to be on my side. See the justice.” The god snarled. “I should have known better.” Tony remained silent, unsure what to do but after a few seconds Loki continued. “Thanos and the Grandmaster poured a lot more power into the mind control.”

Loki could only remember snippets and flashes of what happened after being coerced out of letting his pets out. He remembers Thanos was against him releasing the Asgardians, then Thor was in the Main Hall again. The Grandmaster suggested something, Thor called lightning. Then Thanos really wanted Thor dead but Loki didn’t. When Loki kept refusing he remembers Thanos disguised as Thor choking him. Then running, and then the bright pain and the final fight. 

“Thor explained what happened but some parts are more vague than others.” 

“Ok carry on then.” 

The Asgardians were arguing about Loki. Thor was ridiculing Odin stating this was his fault and demanding Odin speak the truth. Odin continued to deny all of Loki’s claims. Thor’s friends sided with Odin. When Odin had told Frigga to set Thor straight, Frigga only glared at him. 

Frigga explained they couldn’t fight each other, not when they had a bigger battle to get to. But she made it clear that this wasn’t over and would be discussed later. Frigga then explained how she believed Loki was being controlled. 

“I sensed a war within him in the Main Hall.” She explained. “His mind is fighting itself.”

“Loki’s eyes are a different color.” Thor added urgently. “I was able to get a close look at him earlier. His eyes are a bright blue.” 

“Mind control.” Frigga snapped her fingers. “That explains it. They’ve been mind controlling him!” 

And so they all created a plan regarding how to free Loki’s mind and plot their escape. Heimdall said he’d take care of getting everyone out of their cells but the royal family needed to think of how to break the mind control. 

Frigga said she could take the magic out of Loki’s mind but would need to be free of the magic dampeners and be in physical contact with Loki. Odin suggested using himself as bait to get Loki close. Offer himself up for whatever Loki or Thanos wished. However, Thor and Frigga shot that down. 

“Thanos wants you dead. Loki’s mind fought to keep you alive.” Frigga urged.

“Is that what that was?” Fandral mused.

“Yes! And Loki may not be able to fight their control off again.” Thor added.

Instead Thor said he could get through to Loki or at least distract him, Thanos, and the Grandmaster while the rest of them escaped. Then they’d regroup, free Loki and capture or kill the rest. 

While they were planning their escape, Loki had told the Grandmaster and Thanos how he planned on releasing all the Asgardians save for Odin. They were very against that idea and kept urging Loki to reconsider. 

“They will rise against you.”  
“They have abused you for years, why show them any mercy?”  
“Do to them what they did to your kind.”  
“If you leave them alive they will always be waiting for the opportunity to cut you down and supplant you. It is their nature.” 

Leaning back heavily in his throne, Loki began to agree with them. The Asgardians would attack him. Would just be waiting to kill him and usurp him. They had done it before, they would do it again. 

“What is he doing here?!” Thanos' voice rumbled with discontent. 

Loki had to open his eyes (which he wasn’t conscious of ever closing) and focus his vision in front of him. There at the foot of the throne stood a chained Thor. 

“Loki?!” Thor’s alarmed voice yelled. 

It had gotten so much worse. Loki’s form was slumped in the throne, appearing almost boneless and yet his shoulders seemed to hold a heavy weight upon them. The blue in Loki’s eyes was shining. The Grandmaster was leaning heavily on the armrest, his face too close to Loki’s for Thor’s comfort. And then there was Thanos who stood on Loki’s other side and glared down at the blonde. Thor met his glare and snarled at him. 

“Release him!” Thor demanded.

“He is not restrained.” Thanos immediately shot back. “I honor our King. I have always been faithful to him.” 

“You are controlling him and you will release him!” 

“Spouting such nonsense.” The Grandmaster tutted. 

And then it turned into a yelling match. Thor, Thanos and the Grandmaster all yelling at each other. Loki couldn’t recall what was said. Thor had later explained they were arguing about him. Thor was demanding they release him and trying to reach Loki through his words. While Thanos and the Grandmaster refuted his claims and kept telling Loki how it would be better to kill Thor. Then things reached a head when the Grandmaster wound his fingers through Loki’s long hair. 

The Grandmaster then gently pulled Loki’s head closer to him by the strands of his hair and purred something. Loki couldn’t remember what he said and Thor would not repeat it, but it did make little lightning spout from Thor when the blonde thought about it, so Loki knew it couldn’t have been good. However, whatever it was, set Thor’s anger off. Even with the magic dampeners Thor was able to call his lightning, and he sent a large bolt right at the Grandmaster. 

Loki was unharmed though the bright bolt did temporarily blind him. Upon regaining his vision he saw Thor struggling against several of the creatures in his army. 

“Kill him!” Thanos ordered and that jolted Loki into action. 

Bolting upright Loki yelled “ **NO!** ” 

“He needs to die!” Thanos retorted, grabbing Loki’s arm in a vice grip. “He’s attacked your advisor. He’s set to supplant you. Letting him live is a liability and will only come back and harm you.” Thanos glared at the horned god. “He must die!”

“NO!” Loki shot back as he tried to free himself. “Thor is not to be harmed. No one is to touch him!” Loki unleashed his frostbite skin and Thanos retracted his hand with a hiss of pain. “Let him go!” 

No one moved and Loki’s vision swam as his mind chanted ‘ _This is a bad idea! Listen to Thanos! This is a bad idea! Listen to Thanos!_ ’ over and over.

“Now!” Loki ordered. “Release him now!” 

A beat passed and Loki heard movement but with his head pounding as it was, it hurt to even open his eyes. 

Thor later told him, he practically collapsed against his throne and was gripping his forehead in pain. Loki didn’t remember doing this, but Loki really didn’t remember much of any of this. The next thing Loki remembered was a hand or hands around his throat, choking him.

“LOKI!” 

“See how he attacks you my King!” Thanos grunted.

Loki could not respond. He could only grapple weakly with the hand or hands choking him, desperately trying to peel them off and free himself. Cracking one eye open Loki’s eye bulged at the sight. Thor was over him, his eyes narrowed in anger and hatred, and he was choking him. With a particular hard squeeze Loki let out a pained gasp and shut his eyes.

“Allow me to attack him!” Thanos cried, and the hand around Loki’s throat tightened.

“STOP IT!” Thor’s voice boomed along with a crack of thunder, but Loki didn’t feel any lightning.

Suddenly Loki was lifted off the throne only to be slammed down on it again. 

“GIVE THE ORDER!” Thanos screamed. 

Blinking open his eyes, Loki briefly saw the Thor over him change into Thanos. In the place where Thor’s hands were holding Loki down, there was now Thanos pinning Loki with one hand around his throat. However, with Loki’s next blink Thanos was replaced by Thor again and the pressure on his throat increased.

“Thor!?” Loki gasped weakly as he tried to wrestle with the hand holding him. 

“ **LOKI!** ” 

Then Loki felt the lightning. He was not struck directly, but Loki had been caught in the aftershocks of Thor’s attacks before and that’s what this was. 

Then there were sounds of fighting, the armies clashing again. Thor later told Loki that the first lightning he called had created quite a stir and hence most of Loki’s army piled on top of him. Then when Loki was being choked by Thanos, Thor had gone berserk. And with that distraction the Asgardians were able to make their escape. By the time Thor was able to directly attack Thanos with a bolt of lightning, the Asgardians had joined the fight again and were engaging in battle. 

Thor quickly knelt beside the Jotunn who was trying to regain and regulate his breathing. 

“Loki?! Loki?! Are you alright?” Thor asked quickly as he tried to prop the slimmer god into a sitting position. “I’m getting you out of he-”

The Grandmaster landed a kick right in Thor’s face, launching the blonde away. 

“Don’t think I’m down and out Sparkles!” The Grandmaster seethed “You’re going to regret that little stunt!” 

Thor quickly rolled and launched himself at the man with a roar of fury. 

Meanwhile, Loki’s mind reeled and he couldn’t focus on anything. Then he felt a hand haul him up and toss him over a shoulder.

“Time for a retreat.” Thanos muttered angrily as he quickly walked out of the Main Hall. 

“No.” Loki mumbled in pain and willed his body to move or fight but nothing resulted. “No, stop!” 

“We have to leave my King.” Thanos stated more firmly. Then Loki felt himself being tossed onto the floor. 

However, he couldn’t stand up. His body felt as if it wasn't his own. His body and mind were fighting against him and he just needed a minute to try and think but couldn’t. Then Thanos was lifting him up by the shoulders. Giving the horned god a shake Thanos forced Loki’s bright blue eyes open and gazed deeply into them.

“You will listen to me.” Thanos declared and Loki’s head nodded in agreement without the Jotunn’s permission. “You are going to teleport us out of here and then we will come back for my army. And then,” Thanos’s grip tightened to the point of painful and Loki hissed then tried to pull away, but again his mind and body fought against him. “Then we will come back here and you will do as I command! The Asgardians will die and Thor’s head will be on a spike.”

“No!” Loki tried. 

And then lightning crashed into Thanos along with mjolnir. Next, Loki was on the floor and his vision was filled with Frigga’s concerned face. She pet his cheeks and pat his hair frantically while chanting. “I’m sorry, this will hurt. I’m sorry!” 

And then there was pain. 

It felt as if each nerve in Loki’s brain and body had been exposed and dragged slowly across a pricker bush. He felt as if everything in his mind was ripped out with a rusty knife. Everything hurt and it felt like it had no end. 

While Thor had Thanos distracted, Frigga had forcefully pulled the mind control out of Loki. Since it had to be done quickly it was painful. He screamed the whole time, while Frigga held him and muttered apologies. She kept up a barrier to prevent Thanos from reaching them and also poured healing magic into Loki to hopefully minimize the pain. 

Thor meanwhile was fighting with a vengeful fury. After all this creature had turned Loki against him, gainst all of Asgard. This creature had tortured Loki, tried to kill him, and Thor would make him pay. 

“You think you can beat me boy?!” Thanos boasted. “I have eons on you! I know how you fight and you are nothing compared to me!” Then a shot of magical energy hit Thanos and sent the purple man careening into the far wall. 

Looking towards the source, everyone saw Odin gripping gungnir. 

Thanos chuckled meanly as he rose up again. “Oh Odin!” He snarled. “I must say I am disappointed in you.” Odin and Thor only regripped their weapons and took up defensive positions in front of Frigga’s barrier. “For countless years I’ve watched you. Fantasized about our eventual battle and yet…..” The purple giant shook his head in a show of disappointment. “I am disappointed. I thought you’d be a brilliant strategist like your mother.” Odin growled and readied gungnir. “But you left yourself so open!” Thanos laughed then pointed a finger at the still screaming Jotunn. “You leave a Jotunn alive and then make it so easy to manipulate him!” Thor growled at that and Frigga clutched Loki closer.

“You will not touch him again!” Thor screamed.

“Your army is being subdued and there is no escape. Surrender!” Odin demanded but Thanos only grinned at him.

“I’ve already won!” He bared his teeth at the old man. “He knows the truth now.” Thanos gestured to Loki, who’s screams had tampered down. “The benevolent ruler facade is gone. Everything you tried so desperately to keep hidden is coming into the light. Your reign is over!” 

Odin gave a war cry then fired gungnir, Thor quickly followed suit with mjolnir. Thanos and the three fought until Frigga began to notice Odin’s attacks would halt and he seemed slower.

“He’s trying to control him.” Frigga gasped, realising Odin’s eye had begun to glow faintly. 

“Mother.” Loki whined, opening his eyes and Frigga immediately turned her attention back to him.

“My son.” She ran her hands through his hair. “It’s ok now. It’s alright.” She soothed.

“Father?!” Thor cried in outrage as he used mjolnir to quickly bat away an attack from gungnir. “What are you doing?!”

“He believes Loki. He will push against you.” Thanos cheered and Frigga’s face morphed into one of horror as Odin tried to attack Thor again. “None that oppose you can stand!”

Standing quickly, Frigga broke her barrier as she ran in between her husband and son.

“Odin stop!” Frigga cried as she quickly summoned her armor and clashed her sword against gungnir. 

Odin’s eye widened as he realized he clashed weapons with his wife. Frigga gave her husband a pleading look then barked “Thor now!” 

Odin glanced over Frigga’s shoulder just in time to see Thor launch mjolnir at his chest. This sent the one eyed god flying back past Loki’s crouched form. Loki glanced at Odin and saw the old god grabbing and shaking his head. Turning back towards the fight, Loki saw Thor and Frigga face off against Thanos. Loki grit his teeth and pushed himself up to his knees. 

“You can’t defeat me! I have faced stronger enemies and lived. I can turn you all into my puppets and you will be none the wiser. You call yourselves gods but the truth is you are nothing in the face of true power.” The giant purple man smiled cruelly and cracked his fists in his hand. “In the end-”

Thanos’s feet fell as a portal opened underneath him. Reaching out his arms Thanos desperately gripped at the edge and attempted to pull himself up and out. 

Thor and Frigga, astonished, looked from Thanos to Loki. Loki had one hand splayed out in front of himself, his face tight in pain and concentration. 

“You little-” Thanos growled as Loki pushed more magic to widen the portal.

“You are nothing.” Loki growled and then the edge Thanos was holding disappeared and he fell into the portal. 

Thor and Frigga watched Thanos fall through the closing portal but then Loki’s scream had them whip their heads back around. Frigga let out her own horrified screech and Thor raced over to the falling Jotunn.

Thor caught Loki before he hit the ground and quickly put his hands over Loki’s stomach to try and stop the bleeding. Loki gasped and writhed in pain as Thor looked over him frantically. 

“It’s ok. It’s ok.” Thor quickly muttered as Frigga quickly joined him and poured more healing magic into Loki’s bleeding body. Frigga then said some instructions and Thor followed her lead and poured his magic into his mother so that she could use it to help heal Loki. 

“What happened?” Tony asked as he chewed the bottom of his lip. “Was it the Grandmaster? Did Thanos throw something at you?” 

“No.” Loki shook his head then with a heavy sigh revealed. “Odin skewered me with gungnir.” 

Tony gasped in horror and for a full minute nothing else was said. 

“Did...did he do it...on his own?” The child finally asked. “Or did Thanos make him?” 

Tilting his head to one side the horned god answered. “...I believe Thanos had a hand in it…….but. He didn’t help.” A haunted look flitted over Loki’s face. “He just watched as Frigga and Thor rushed to try and stop the bleeding. Never helping. Just watching.”

Frigga and Thor had poured everything into keeping Loki conscious and alive. Meanwhile, Loki’s dimming vision locked onto Odin. Odin had dropped gungnir and just stared at them. He didn’t move to help, didn’t move to hurt. Didn’t do anything. 

Later Odin would explain he was in shock. Shock at being controlled and at striking his own son. Loki didn’t know if he believed that. A part of Loki, a part he was unsure if he could trust, said Odin did nothing because he didn’t really want Loki -the last Jotunn- to live. Either way, Loki didn’t blame Odin for attacking him. He knew firsthand the power of Thanos’ control. But he did blame Odin for doing nothing afterwards. Just staring and watching Loki almost die.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. Since I never got the opportunity to spell it out I will do so here, Thanos and the Grandmaster's mind control was only weak to something Loki truly loves (i.e. his pets and Thor). So no matter how much Thanos and GM pushed, Loki's heart kept rebelling against their control involving the people he truly loved. Hence why he didn't give into their suggestion of sending his pets away or killing Thor.


	10. Try

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **The last chapter will be posted Saturday!**
> 
> Then I have some memes I'm going to add as chap 12

Loki stopped just outside the door leading into his Throne Room. Quickly, he fluffed his long raven locks and made sure nothing was tangled in his horns. After doing a final check, Loki put on his best sultry face and opened the door, revealing an empty room. His face fell into one of confusion as he walked fully inside and glanced around. 

He had received word Thor had made an unexpected visit to Hel. So after he quickly teleported Tony to the Monster Village, Loki had expected to meet Thor in the Throne Room. However, it was empty. Well not empty, but there was no Thor.

Looking up at his actual throne Loki’s confused face melted into a smile. There placed carefully on his throne was a flower, scroll, and folded note. 

The horned god picked up the note. “My dearest Loki, I am unable to stay long due to my responsibilities but I wish to give you this gift. I love you and miss you. I cannot wait till my time will be free and thus I can return to your arms. Also, I found this scroll about Hel and per your request took it for you. Love you, Thor” Loki let out a content sigh and picked up the flower with a smile.

-

After Thanos had been portalled away to the Forgotten Realm. The rest of the Asgardians were able to subdue and/or kill the invaders. The Grandmaster was knocked unconscious and kept in a state of stasis as the others were locked away in the dungeons. Loki, meanwhile, was kept in his chambers.

Loki had passed out due to his grievous injury and the residual pain he was dealing with at having the mind control ripped out of him so hastily. Thor had eventually carried Loki to the Jotunn’s bed chambers, all the while Frigga kept pouring healing magic over the god. Thor had refused to leave Loki’s bedside. Even when Odin had come and demanded his presence so they could sort out everything with the Asgardians. Thor had only given Odin a fleeting glare then continued to sit at Loki’s side. 

Fenrir and Jörmungandr had made it out of their room during the chaos. Now both of them stayed in Loki’s room, Fenrir paced in front of the main door and Jörmungandr was hidden but Thor knew the snake was close by. 

Many Asgardians were still angry at Loki. Especially since they were all still stranded in Asgard. Frigga had done a lot of crowd control and, unlike Odin, she never pushed for Thor to join her.

“Someone needs to protect him.” She had said the first day after Thor expressed guilt at leaving all the fallout to his parents. 

When Loki finally awoke, it was awful. Loki screamed, raged, tried to push Thor away in every way. However, Loki didn’t leave. He threw insults and objects at Thor. Even made to stab the blonde but stopped himself and then tried to hide away.

“Look what I’ve done!” Loki cried.

“It was not you!” Thor was quick to say but the blue god shook his head in denial.

“IT WAS ME!” He shouted back.

Before they could go any further Frigga appeared in the doorway. Upon looking at her Loki turned away in shame but she just rushed forward and bundled the Jotunn into her arms. And that was what seemed to really break Loki down, for then he crumpled to the ground and wept apologies in her shoulder. Thor joined them and for a while Loki thought he could absolve himself, absolve Asgard. Then he noticed Odin wasn’t there, and recalled how Odin did nothing and the familiar burn of hatred he had been feeling for the past years rose up in him again, and he became frightened. 

And in that room, where it was just Thor, Frigga, Loki, and Loki’s pets; Loki spoke honestly. “I’m scared.” 

Loki confessed he was scared of the feelings he still had. Upset at himself for being so stupid and such an easy target. Mad that some of his memories are now tainted to the point that Loki still can’t tell if he always felt negative about them or if that negativity was pushed there. Frigga and Thor soothed him as best they could. 

Frigga said she’d teach him techniques to prevent mind altering magic. She also offered to go through any memory Loki wished with him. Thor had been a quiet presence, just offering comforting words of support and soothing rubs on Loki’s back. They didn’t mention Odin, other than Loki saying he couldn’t be near him. “Not yet.” Loki had said desperately.

Frigga and Thor then pushed Loki back into bed. Frigga kissed Loki’s forehead and instructed him to get more sleep as that would help him heal. 

After she left, Loki resolutely did not look at Thor, who had resumed his post at the gods bedside. 

“You can leave.” Loki barked. “As you can see I’m in no condition to do anything. You don’t have to worry if I’ll attack.”

“That’s not why I’m here.” Thor sighed frustrated and before the raven haired god could say anything, Thor continued. “Loki do you...I almost lost you! You almost died in my arms!” Catching Loki’s eyes, Thor held his gaze. “We’re not supposed to die and you almost did! Do you know how scared I was?!” Thor stood up and began pacing “You ran away from me! Pushed me away! Then I had to watch as you were pulled farther and farther from my reach! Till finally you were in my arms and-” Thor’s fist clenched as the memory of Loki’s bleeding body flashed in his head. 

Loki swallowed heavily but said nothing. Thor took a deep breath and then plopped himself down at the end of the bed. 

“You have no idea what I’ve gone through.” Thor sighed. 

“OH?!” Loki bolted into a sitting position, quickly hiding the wince of pain that came with that. “What **you’ve** gone through?! Thor, you don’t get to say that to me! You have no idea what **I’ve** gone through!” 

“But I am trying! I have been trying!” Thor yelled back. “When have you ever tried?!” Loki only glared at the blonde and Thor took that as an invitation to continue. “You never ask what I have gone through! You never care!” 

“You’re-!” 

“ **NO!** ” Thor roared and stomped over to Loki’s side, sparks flying from his shoulders. “You will be silent and listen!” Loki leaned back on his bed and tried to scooch away from the thunderous blonde, but couldn’t go far. 

“You unleash the flood gate that is what you learned from Father’s eye and then what do you do?!” Thor spread his arms out wide. “You run away! You didn’t care how anyone reacted to that!”

“Yes I-!”

“No! You only cared how you felt!” 

“And so what?! Was I to stay and let Tyr finish the job?!” 

“You could have listened to me! Believed me!” 

“And how does that feel Thor?! To not have me believe you?! Because you have done it to me for years!” 

“Do not distract me now Loki! I will state my feelings and you will listen!” 

Loki scoffed and made to turn away. Angry, Thor clambered up on the bed. 

“Wha-THOR?!” Loki screeched as the blonde manhandled him. They slapped each other and pushed at each other. In the end, Loki was pushed into the bed by his shoulders and Thor straddled him. The blonde hovered over the raven but was sure to not push too harshly on the Jotunn’s shoulders. 

“Are you a child?!” Loki bit out at the same time Thor blurted.

“I believe you!”

“....what?” Loki gasped and Thor shook his head while shoving himself away from the other. Thor then sat next to Loki on the bed and took a calming breath. 

“I believe you.” He admitted again. “What you said you saw….I believe it.” 

“...It’s true.” Loki swallowed harshly and Thor gave a brisk nod. 

“I don’t doubt it.” The two then shared a long look which Thor broke with a heavy huff. “You revealed everything and ...it just made sense. But I dealt with that alone. Alone because you ran from me. Then you come back to me and try to fight me.” Thor let out a humorless laugh. “I know that was not you, not fully.” He allowed. “But then everything got so much worse. And then...” Thor bit his lip and hung his head.

“I am here because I cannot bear to be away from you.” Thor finally admitted into the silence. And Loki was thankful the blonde’s face was downcast, for that confession created a blush on Loki’s cheeks. “I’m afraid you will disappear or be taken if I let you out of my sight.” Thor continued as Loki viciously fought to contain his blush. 

“Yes well…” Loki trailed off and cleared his throat. “With my new found powers technically I can leave at any time.” Thor whipped his head over to Loki and the raven threw him a mischievous smirk. “You watching me or no.” 

Loki then let out a small laugh and Thor joined in. Eventually the two relaxed into silence and inevitably fell asleep. 

Once Loki was healed enough physically, he, Thor, Frigga and Odin all met up in Odin and Frigga’s chambers. Odin explained how he wished he helped Loki in his recovery but was in such a state of shock he couldn’t. Loki didn’t look to believe him but with Frigga’s encouragement they moved on to more pressing matters. 

Loki was the only one who could fix the rainbow bridge or open portals out of Asgard. Loki confronted Odin about him being able to travel the realms, and after some prodding Odin admitted he could. However, he could only travel to other realms through the seams between realms. He could not travel at whim or choose his destination. He had to find the seams and then could slip through them. However he could do nothing else other than that, and so Odin pushed for Loki to repair the rainbow bridge first and foremost. 

Loki however, argued that first they should deal with Thanos. Afterall, Thanos was not dead, merely in the Forgotten Realm. Eventually Odin relents and agrees handling Thanos would be their first priority.

And so a plan was formulated, Loki would stay in Asgard along with Odin and maintain the portal. Frigga would put up protective barriers around Thor, the Warriors 3 and Sif so that Thanos could not get into their minds. Odin had volunteered Tyr to go but that was shot down. They would then either try and push Thanos into a door or destroy him. 

The night before the battle, Thor paced nervously in Loki’s room (where he had spent every night so far).

“You need not worry. You will have mother there to protect you.” Loki cooed and Thor glared at the smirking raven. 

“That is not why I am worried and you know it.” Thor growled. Loki made a noise of agreement but said nothing further. 

It was the unaddressed sore spot. The thing neither knew how to acknowledge. Thor was resistant to think it, but that didn’t mean the thought never entered his head. Whereas Loki was worried about it but didn’t know quite how to bring it up after everything. 

“Without the rainbow bridge Asgard and all the Asgardians are stuck here.” Loki said into the silence. “So….” He slapped Thor’s shoulder. “You better take care of Thanos because I’m not starting that project till this is done.” 

Thor’s eyebrows rose in realization and he gave Loki a questioning look to which Loki just smiled. 

“Should’ve known.” Thor shook his head then smiled. 

No harm would come to Loki. Even if some Asgardians wanted to take their anger out on the Jotunn, wanted to attack him. They couldn’t. Not until Loki had finished what they needed.

However, always one for precaution Loki had Fenrir and Jörmungandr at his side as he opened the portal. The plan went off rather well. Thor and his friends had dispatched Thanos quite efficiently. Once they stripped Thanos of his main weapon and backed the man into a corner, turns out he was a relatively easy opponent. 

After returning to Asgard, Thor and his friends wished to have a celebration for the victory. However, Loki instead suggested they lock the others back into the Forgotten Realm instead of leaving them in Asgard’s prison. Odin agreed, on the condition that Loki build a bridge from Asgard to the Forgotten Realm. He reasoned this way others had access to the realm to check on the prisoners rather than just Loki. 

That hadn’t gone over very well. 

Odin argued it was only fair the pathway be opened to more than just Loki. However, Loki argued that before he learned these powers only Odin knew how to travel the realms, yet told no one. That had turned into Odin yelling it was because he is King and didn’t need to explain himself. Then Loki shouted back that he was only King because he stole Loki’s birthright. And it divulged into madness. 

“You will create a bridge!” Odin declared.

“Or what?!” Loki snapped back, his skin blue but quickly fading back to pale as he saw Odin pause. “What will you do?” Loki threw out his arms. “Lock me up?!” Thor immediately stepped up to his side and glared at his father. 

“I will not allow that.” Thor growled and Odin’s nostrils flared but before he could say anything Frigga stepped in. 

“He would never,” She gave a pointed look at her husband. “Lock up one of our sons.” 

“Well I’m not his son, am I?” Loki spit cruelly and Thor grabbed his shoulder and growled in warning.

“Loki.” 

“I still consider you my son.” Odin spoke, gaining everyone's attention. “Even after all the-”

“If you say lies I will encase you in ice!” Loki pulled against Thor’s restraining hold, but Thor’s strength won out. 

“What they showed you Loki was fabrication.” Odin tried to explain and that gained him glares of anger from Loki and Thor, and a glare of annoyance from Frigga.

“You think I wanted the first and only time I’ve ever seen my father to be like that?!” Loki spit. “Dying?! By your parents hand?!” 

“It got you on Thanos’s side.” Sif spoke up much to the displeasure of the Warriors 3 who were all trying to quiet the woman while pretending to be invisible.

“Do not speak of what you don’t know!” Thor ordered then turned back to Odin. “Loki got the information from your eye.”

“It was what they wanted him to see! They were in your mind Loki. What you saw was altered to fit their needs.” 

“Then why did you crush the eye?!” Thor fired back and now it was Loki’s turn to restrain Thor. 

“JUST STOP IT!” Frigga yelled. “Stop!” The Queen huffed and glared about the room. “The past is the past, we can’t do anything about it!” She cut a hand through the air. “We could argue forever! But we **have** to move forward!” Everyone was quiet and after a beat she began again. 

“Dear,” She looked at Odin. “You have no right to demand that of Loki. If he wants to build a bridge he will, if not he doesn’t.”

“But-”

“No!” She interrupted firmly. “You could travel and never told me….I don’t know who knew, if anyone, but you didn’t tell me.” Her look said they’d be discussing that more in private. “You hid that from everyone so you have no right to say travel to other realms should be open to all, when you kept it to yourself.” 

“I am the King of the Cosmos.” Odin stated in a controlled tone but Frigga matched it.

“And I am the Queen.” Odin turned away and Frigga turned her attention to Loki and Thor. 

“Loki, my boy,” She walked over and took his hands into hers. “I can’t even imagine what you saw. True or not….No one should have to watch their parents murder and then…” She bit her lip and Loki swallowed hard while averting his eyes. “I’m so sorry!” Loki let out a quiet shuttered breath. “No harm will come to you, I swear it.” She pulled him into a hug. “You are my son and I’m sorry I failed you.” 

“You didn’t fail. I was the one who let them manipulate me.” Loki whispered for only Frigga to hear but she shook her head in the negative. 

“We’ll talk more, later.” She promised then stepped back and gave him a hard look. “But you have to try Loki. Moving forward will be hard but you have to try.” 

Loki’s emotional face instantly shuttered close as he visibly closed himself off. 

“We’re here for you.” She squeezed his hands to which Loki gave a non-committal nod. Thor came up and put a hand on Loki’s shoulder and gave a companionable squeeze. 

With that everyone was dismissed, much to the delight of the Warriors 3 who quickly made their exit. Frigga and Odin left to finish talking. Thor walked beside Fenrir as he, Loki, and Jörmungandr walked back, not to Loki’s room, but the pets room. After dropping them off, Loki created a portal and Thor startled at it. 

Loki however threw the blonde a grin and made to hold out his hand. However before he could do so, Thor had tackled the Jotunn to the ground. The portal disappearing as they both hit the floor.

“THOR!” Loki reprimanded. 

“No running! I know this is tuff but-” 

“I was going to invite you!” 

“You can’t run and- you were?” The blonde looked confused as he leaned back. 

Loki glared at him from underneath the blonde. “Yes!” 

“Oh…”

““Oh”?!” Loki mocked and pushed at him. “Get off me! You can walk back to your room now!” 

Thor laughed and decided to deadweight himself on the horned god. “ACK! Thor! This is childish!” 

Thor wiggled himself till his face was right beside Loki’s, only a hair's breadth away. He met the green eyed glare with a mischievous smile. 

“Are you going to get up?” Loki asked through clenched teeth as he tried again to push the blonde off him. 

Thor’s smile grew “No, I’m quite comfortable.” 

“Thor.” Loki growled and the blonde’s smile only increased. “I will stab you.” 

“You can’t reach your knives.” 

“I will freeze you!” 

“No you won’t.”

“You want to test that?” 

“Sure.” Thor’s smile lit up his whole face as Loki’s face scrunched up in annoyance. 

“Get off!” Loki screamed and Thor broke into laughter. Try as he might, Loki couldn’t resist joining. 

Eventually the laughter tampered off and Thor leaned up enough so he was just looking down at Loki. They smiled at each other, Thor’s smile was bigger than Loki’s but both were genuine 

Loki’s eyes then shuttered and after wiggling a hand free, he reached up and ran it through Thor’s long blonde locks. “I never wanted to believe what they said about you.” 

Thor’s gaze turned thoughtful, “We will try to be better.” He whispered to the space between them.

And that was the start of it. The start of the real change in Thor and Loki’s dynamic. 

Loki had previously realized he wanted Thor for his own and loved Thor. But then everything with Thanos happened. His heart felt like it had been broken by Thor going off with Jane and Thanos and Gast stomping on his memories. But now, all those feelings came rushing back. 

Thor was just so easy to fall in love with. And Thor wasn’t helping by always being by Loki’s side. When asked, he was vocal about his stance on believing what Loki had said happened. When Tyr tried to confront Loki, Thor did not step in right away but let Loki handle himself and only stepped in when necessary. Thor was always ready to be there for him or to help him get out of something. Thor was just always there and always being his shining self. 

Soon enough, Loki began working on fixing the rainbow bridge. Breaking it’s connection from the realms had been done haphazardly. Putting it back together and reconnecting it to each realm was no small task. Since that took quite a bit of time and energy, Loki thought it the perfect distraction from his feelings about Thor. 

What the Jotunn hadn’t expected was his feelings about the others. 

Loki had been working on the bridge when Amora sauntered over to him. He had dismissed her saying Thor was not present but she said she was here for him.

“True heir to the cosmos?” She shook her head back and forth “Not sure if I buy that, but I definitely believe you’re the only one who can do all the fun magic.” She winked. And so Loki and Amora’s rather odd friendship began. 

True, Amora still tried to get closer to Thor through him. But she also talked with him publicly and would discuss magic theories with him. She was the one who eventually helped him develop rune stones which he could make and give to others so they could use them to teleport between certain realms. She was interesting and Loki counted her his friend. 

Then there were the other Asgardians. They smiled at him now. Not right away, but after watching him work on the rainbow bridge everyday, it must have turned some people’s opinions. Especially when he was able to reconnect Asgard to Midgard (one realm down, several more to go). 

As he walked back to the castle after a hard day of work, Brunnhilde stopped him and invited him into her house.

“Hards day work, deserves a hard drink!” She then poured him a glass of mead. 

Some still looked at his horns with weary eyes, most did if he was honest. But Loki found he no longer focused on them. 

He knew now there was nothing to be ashamed of. Being a Jotunn did not mean he was stupid or tratorious. It meant he was loyal, strong, and capable of power they could never grasp. Their opinion no longer held any power over him because he knew their perception was flawed. Sometimes though, the glares and weary looks got to him. But instead of hiding it, he would then turn on his blue skin and red eyes and glare right back at them.

The Warriors 3 and Sif now also treated Loki differently. Sif was slow going at first but the Warriors 3 quickly began hanging out with Loki without Thor. They included him in conversation, and invited him to spar. Hogun even asked if he could play with Fenrir. Volstagg had been welcoming and often invited Loki over to his home for food, or just a respite from his work on the rainbow bridge. Fandral had asked Loki to show him his blue form and had even flirted with the horned god. Thor was present the first time Fandral had made a pass and had laughed loudly and clapped Fandral hard on the back. 

“Such jests! As if you are worthy of Loki!” Thor laughed loudly. 

It was odd. But not unwelcome. 

Frigga and Loki would revisit his memories and she would help peice out and remove some residual taint from Thanos and En Dwi Gast. After a rather arduous memory trip Loki wanted nothing more than to just sleep or meditate. 

On his way back to his room he passed Thor talking with Odin’s council. Quickly concealing himself, Loki eavesdropped. Loki thought they’d be talking about him, but no, they were talking about something inconsequential. Saying Thor needed to do more and present more of a leader role. Some even said Thor was spending too much time with his friends than with the other Asgardians. Loki shook his head at the absurdity and was ready to teleport away when he caught sight of Thor’s frame. Thor’s shoulders were stiff, as if he was carrying a weight. 

The memory of Thor returning to Asgard after meeting Jane, immediately flew into Loki’s mind. Thor had been weightless. And Loki had never found out what had weighed Thor down. Never tried.

_“But I am trying! I have been trying! When have you ever tried?! You never ask what I have gone through! You never care!”_

‘ _Oh._ ’ Loki thought, feeling a fool as Thor’s past words washed over him.

Teleporting away Loki devised a plan. 

Thor was making his way to check on Loki’s progress with the rainbow bridge when he fell. Though, “fell” isn’t quite the right word. Loki had opened a portal underneath the blonde and sent him into a deep pool of heated water. Surfacing, Thor spluttered then quickly took in his surroundings. He was in a hot spring on a snowy mountain side. Trees and rocks surrounded the spring, on one such rock sat Loki. Loki was wearing a floor length skirt and gold bracelets, on his pale face was a smirk.

“If you say “drop in'' or any variety.” Thor growled in fake annoyance as he swam over to the horned god. “I will make you regret it.” 

“I bring you to a relaxing environment and you threaten me?” Loki held a hand to his chest. “And people wonder why I’m not nicer.” 

Thor grinned as he pulled himself out of the hot spring. “So where are we and why are we here?” 

“At a hot spring.” Loki waved his hand and Thor felt all his clothes, except his small clothes, vanish.

“LOKI?!” 

“And the reason should be obvious. You aren’t **that** dimwitted.” Loki teased then magicked his own clothes and jewelry away and jumped into the hot water. 

Chuckling Thor joined him and after a small splash battle, both gods simply relaxed and let the hot water sink into their skin. 

Moaning in delight Thor stretched his arms wide and let his body float on top of the water. “This is just what I needed.” 

“I figured.” Loki muttered as he lounged against a bordering boulder. 

“What?” Thor cocked an eyebrow and focused his attention on Loki. “What’d you say?” 

Blushing Loki sniped back. “Nothing.” 

“You figured?...Wait...Was this you-”

“Nothing! I wanted to go to a hot spring and knew it would draw attention if I went alone.” The blushing god explained as Thor swam closer. “You were the obvious choice.” 

“Really?” Thor smiled not looking convinced in the least. 

“Yes.” Loki snapped, “Really.” He then splashed the blonde. “Stop staring at me like that.” 

“Staring at you like what?” The blonde continued to tease swimming closer. After receiving no answer, Thor stated in a matter-of-fact tone. “This is you trying.” 

Sending him a glare Loki scoffed “You’re so annoying.” He huffed as he folded his arms and turned to look out at the treeline. “I don’t know why I put up with you.” 

“Because you love me.” Thor replied easily, unthinking and assured. 

Loki tensed briefly then quickly schooled himself. ‘ _Family love you idiot!’_ He internally lectured. 

“...You love me.” The blonde repeated in a quieter tone.

“Thor shut up!” The horned god reprimanded. “Enjoy your hot spring before we have to go back.” Tossing Thor a glare, he stopped and instead quirked an eyebrow. “What?”

Thor had a beaming smile on his face and Loki’s heart did a little jump. Shaking his head Thor dunked himself under the water then reemerged with a laugh.

“Yes! This has been...perfect!” Thor boomed happily. 

A small smile graced the Jotunn’s face. “Good.” 

After that Loki tried. Dining or drinking with Thor, he would prod the blonde about his day and wouldn’t let Thor off with his easy “All is fine” answers. He also kept “kidnapping” the blonde and taking him on either fun filled jaunts or relaxing activities. In turn Thor would ask Loki proding questions about how he felt regarding everything: the Asgardians, the memory trips with mother, Odin. Sometimes Loki would run from him but then he’d find a gift of sorts in his room. 

After Loki had reconnected Asgard to Hel, he was allowed a reprieve. Asgard still wasn’t connected to all the realms but a good majority was done. And so Odin and Frigga told him to take a few months to recuperate. 

Or at least that was the official story. 

Loki had just reconnected Hel to the rainbow bridge, but that wasn’t why he was given a reprieve. Frigga and him had ventured into memories surrounding Odin. It had been too much.

Loki froze the entire room they were in. Icicles jutted up and around the room. Loki immediately ended the session, using some of Frigga’s teaching he shoved his mother out of his head. She tried to calm him down but he fled. When he came back he heard what the official announcement was and grew angrier. 

His room was covered in thick ice. When Thor finally managed to break the door down he was greeted with the sight of Loki holding one of his daggers.

“Loki what are you doing with that?” He rushed while his body thrummed with the impulse to run and snatch the dagger out of the raven’s hand. 

“I am tired of the lies!” Loki seethed. “You all want to act like everything is fine!” He waved the dagger haphazardly as his red eyes darted around the room. “Even now instead of telling the truth, you cover me up with bullshit!” 

“Explain to me what is going on.” Thor requested in a calm tone.

After staring at the blonde, Loki shook his head in disbelief. “Of course you don’t know.”

“What don’t I know?” Thor snapped.

Just shaking his head Loki plopped down on a nearby couch. Cautiously Thor approached and sat next to Loki. His hand went to grab the dagger but Loki yanked it away.

“No.” Locking eyes, they glared at each other.

“What are you going to do with it?” 

“My business.” 

“...I thought we agreed we would try to be better.”

“I don’t want…” Loki stopped himself and seemed to search for the right words. “I want- I just….I called him Father.” He finally confessed, turning away to stare steadily at the floor. “Every memory is tainted because he still denies it!” He growled. “And I’m to act as if it’s all fine?!”

“No!” Thor interrupted, clasping a hand on Loki’s blue shoulder. “Loki you can be angry, upset. You don’t have to be fine.” 

“I know that!” His gaze was still zeroed in on the floor.

“Then what is this about?” 

“Everyone else expects us to be fine. We are the royal family.” He spat the last word. “I cannot be upset, I have to be on a well earned break.”

“What is the dagger for?” 

Loki was silent before letting out a deep breath. Lifting the dagger up with one hand, Loki grabbed a chunk of his hair with the other. 

“Loki?” Thor asked trepidatiously.

And then Loki used the dagger to slice through the chunk of hair, slicing it unevenly and messily. Both stared at the black hair now littering the floor.

“I’m not fine.” Loki choked out. “Thor….” He trailed off in a tone that Thor knew to be pleading.

Gently Thor turned Loki’s head and took in the shining red eyes. Loki let out a shuddering breath and Thor gently took the dagger. Grasping the side of Loki’s face Thor brought their foreheads together. And for a while they just sat there, Loki matching his breathing to Thor’s. When Thor pulled away and opened his eyes, he was met with a pale and green eyed Loki. Thor gave a tiny smile but Loki didn’t return it, he just seemed to slump. 

Thor then regripped the dagger and gently grabbed a chunk of Loki’s hair. Looking to Loki for permission, the Jotunn gave a small nod. Thor then began chopping Loki’s previously long locks down to a short layered look. 

“You’re the god of mischief Loki.” Thor said while trying to make layers. “I would think you‘d jump at the opportunity to shatter expectations.” At that a small smile graced Loki’s face.

After he was done, Thor pushed Loki over towards a mirror. Looking himself over, he gave a sound of being impressed. 

“I meant to look chaotic and unhinged but...this is quite good.” The Jotunn smiled and Thor chuckled while folding his arms.

“Well you can’t see it from the back.” Loki gave a half hearted glare. “You look awful.” 

The horned god created a snowball and threw it at the blondes face. “Idiot.” 

All the ice that was previously covering Loki’s room had melted and he glared at the broken door. “You owe me a new door.” 

“What a thank you!” Thor mocked as he picked the broken door up and propped it back into place. Turning back, Thor just watched Loki putz around the room. 

“You can leave now.” Loki dismissed with a wave.

“Just for that I’m staying.” Thor retorted flopping down on Loki’s bed. Loki was cleaning up the cut strands of his hair, pushing them into a pile; while Thor gazed up at the ceiling. Breaking the silence, Thor inhaled as if he was about to ask something but then stopped. Quirking an eyebrow Loki gave Thor his attention. 

“What?” 

“No it’s not a good time.” 

“Just ask.” Loki groaned. 

“Did they ever do anything physical to you?” Thor rushed. “Besides at the end, with the choking and everything.” 

“Oh.” Loki blinked, not expecting that. “No.”

“Nothing at all?” Thor inquired further, sitting up and staring hard at Loki so as to detect if he was lying. 

“No.” Loki gave an incredulous look. 

“Oh.” Thor looked incredibly relieved and Loki resisted his impulse to ask why. Doubtless it was probably just Thor being protective. 

“We should go somewhere.” Thor said into the following silence.

“Where?” 

The two then debated places back and forth, then began talking about other mundane things. Eventually their energies waned and both men fell asleep. Loki woke up first. However upon moving he discovered he was unable to. 

Thor had wrapped himself all around the Jotunn. When Loki tried to remove himself from Thor’s various grips, the blonde made a grumbling sound. The muscular arms around him then regripped Loki and yanked him closer. Thor then nuzzled his face in the crook of Loki’s neck and let out a sound of content. Glancing at the head of blonde hair Loki huffed an exasperated breath. He then settled back into his bed and made to fall asleep. 

When that failed. Loki began thinking of what to do. And then an idea hit him and a gleeful smile overtook his face. 

“LOKI!” Thor screamed as he took in his appearance.

“I am the god of Mischief.” Loki smirked, his face looking anything but apologetic. 

“YOU CUT ALL MY HAIR!” Thor roared as he looked over his new hairstyle. Loki had hacked away his beautiful blonde locks till it was cropped on all sides. 

“Doing the unexpected is what’s expected of me and I hadn’t done anything in so long.” Loki shrugged while Thor turned the full force of his glare onto the short haired raven. “You cut my hair so it’s only fair.” Loki waved a dismissive arm over to the pile of hair in his room. The blonde and raven locks overlapping each other. Thor’s eyes seemed to get caught on it as Loki continued. “Besides I was not cruel. You still look presentable. I dare say you look dashing.” 

Thor’s glare had melted away as he glanced from the pile of hair to Loki. The blonde then seemed to release all the tension he was carrying. Running a hand through his new hair, Thor turned back to his reflection. 

“...It does look good.” Thor admitted and Loki smiled as he came up beside him. “It’s like a new start.” Thor breathed.

Loki stiffened briefly then rolled his eyes, in a show to brush off the emotion that statement brought up. “Such sentiment. It’s just a haircut Thor.” 

“I love you.” 

Loki’s body startled at the abruptness of that. “Pardon?” 

Thor grabbed Loki’s hand in a firm grip. “Don’t run.” His eyes and tone conveyed that he was serious as he continued. “I love you Loki... And I know you love me too.” 

Loki’s eyes widened marginally but he tried to roll with it. “Of course, we’re-”

“No!” The blonde interrupted. “Not like that.” Another squeeze of his hand and Thor took in a deep breath. “Our love isn’t like that anymore….is it.” It was not a question and yet it was.

For a time neither said anything. Loki was searching Thor’s face while the blonde simply waited for Loki to respond with a look of boundless patience. 

“Our?” Loki finally asked in a tone that was nowhere near confident. 

A smile flitted onto Thor’s face. “I was going to tell you later. I didn’t -don’t- want to push you. But…” Thor’s smile grew. “I want to wake up with you in my arms everyday. I want to be there for you when you need me. I want you to know I will be there! I want you!” 

Loki looked floored as he took Thor’s confession in. He kept making to say something but couldn’t figure out exactly what to say. “Thor…”

“Loki, I love you.” Thor repeated and that got the horned god to blush. 

Thor smiled then yanked the raven’s arm forward. Loki came easily and Thor used his free hand to cup the side of the god’s face and pull him into a kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. Had a bitch of a time writing the confession, still don’t love it but, eh good enough. Thor’s such a bulldozer and he knows Loki is most honest when he’s caught off guard, so it was always going to be an “out of left field” type of thing. 
> 
> 2\. Normally I don’t like writing a lot about what the characters look like since everyone has their own headcanons for which versions of these characters they use. But it was important that you know they did have long hair before and then cut it in this chapter. It’s symbolic! PS. Loki then grew his hair back (since his hair is long in The Hercules AU).


	11. Of the Dead

“And then I have to check on Sisyphus and ensure his punishment is being carried out.” Loki said aloud as he finalised his planner for the week. Groaning, Loki rubbed his forehead in aggravation. 

He longed for the freedom of just being the god of Mischief. But Odin had decreed it and so it was. ‘ _Damn that fool!_ ’ Loki thought bitterly. 

-

After Thor’s confession Loki and him had gone on a trip. Together they explored the realms and each other. Loki had wondered if it would be awkward now that they were together, but no. They were just as they always were but now with kissing and making out. 

Then eventually Thor and him had crossed the line and became lovers. Thor was insatiable, but as god of Fertility, that was expected. However, Loki proved to be just as insatiable. After years of longing for Thor’s attention and then love, Loki luxuriated in finally having it. 

Thor was all his and he was all Thor’s. 

However, their journey was drawing to a close. They knew they had to return to Asgard and their responsibilities shortly. So they spent most nights near the end, in each other's arms. Then one night Thor asked if Loki would like to go to Jotunheim. Loki was silent for a long while, before voicing that yes he did want to go. 

Jotunheim was silent. Nothing but the wind could be heard. 

An absolutely dead realm.

Thor and Loki walked around the Palace and found some places and spots covered in less dust than the rest. 

“Do you think Father came here ...after the war?” Thor asked into the silence. 

“Yes, I suspect he came back after the War.” Loki’s face turned bitter. “Perhaps to relish in his victory.” 

“Or to mourn his mistakes.” Thor intoned but raised his hands in placation when Loki sent him a glare. “You know where I stand Loki.”

The Jotunns glare withered away as he exhaled. “I know.” 

They continued to explore the realm in silence. It was eerie and still, and honestly put both gods on edge. Finally, Loki said he wanted to leave. That night Thor and Loki made love in a slow pace. 

Thor gently rocked up into Loki as the raven slowly gyrated his hips. They kissed tenderly and their hands moved slowly. After they both came, Loki used his magic to clean them. Then they both laid together.

Thor’s head was on Loki’s right shoulder. The blonde’s left hand combed through Loki’s hair while his right laid across them. Loki’s right arm was wrapped around Thor, holding the blond close to him, and his left was playing with Thor’s fingers. 

“I’m glad we went.” Loki said into the silence and felt Thor hum in agreement. “Thank you for suggesting it.” Thor turned and kissed Loki’s shoulder in response. “I love you.”

“I love you too” Thor said, then intertwined his and Loki’s fingers. “Now sleep.” 

The next day was the last day before they had to return to Asgard. During that day they talked about how to tell everyone about them. Thor seemed to think of it as a non-issue. However, Loki kept imagining everyones reactions. And even though he didn’t say it, Thor could tell Frigga and Odin’s potential reactions weighed heavily in Loki’s mind. 

“We can talk to them privately.” Thor had reasoned to which Loki shot down with a snarl and insults about being alone with Odin. After much back and forth, they agreed it would be best to at least tell Mother privately, and listen to her insight about addressing it with Odin. 

And so, once home Loki and Thor talked with their Mother. Thor had been the one doing the talking, explaining that he and Loki loved each other and had decided to become each other's lovers. She smiled, immediately easing most of Loki’s anxiety. However, she then warned them that they needed to take this relationship seriously and to promise that throughout it all they would still be there for each other, even if things didn’t work out. Thor and Loki had been grateful for her talk. The subject swiftly changed when she stood and pulled at the edges of their hair.

“Now explain what happened to my childrens beautiful locks.” 

They didn’t end up talking to her about Odin. Instead they all talked about Thor and Loki’s travels and how they were doing. 

Afterwards, Thor and Loki went to find their friends and found most of them at Brunnhilde’s home. After getting their own cups Loki stood and raised his for a toast.

“To our safe return!” 

The Warriors 3, Sif, Brunhilde, and Thor all raised their cups and shouted agreements. Then they all took a swig of their respective drinks. Afterwards, Loki grabbed the back of Thor’s head and yanked it back. Before Thor could do anything but glare Loki bent over him and slammed their mouths together. 

“WHOA!”  
“WHAT?!”  
“LOKI!”  
“Uhhhh”  
“....”

Hogun was the only one to remain silent and just stare as Thor yanked Loki closer so as to deepen their kiss; everyone else made loud sounds of exclamation. Breaking the kiss Loki smirked like the cat that got the cream. Thor shook his head but was smiling. 

“Mischief maker.” Thor muttered. “My friends!” Thor then explained that Loki and him were lovers. Everyone’s reactions varied, Volstagg and Hogun seemed more stunned and confused than anything. Sif didn’t seem to show a reaction, her face giving nothing away. Brunhilde shrugged then told them to give a better warning next time. Fandral had been the most accepting, laughing and saying.

“So that’s why you didn’t want me flirting with him.” 

Loki had given Thor an amused look at that, while Thor glared at his friend.

And life went on like that. Loki went back to fixing the rainbow bridge and Thor shepherding storms. At night they stayed with each other and sated each other. Till finally, Loki had completely fixed the rainbow bridge. 

In celebration a feast was set to take place. They organized everything and made sure it would be a grand affair. However, before the party, they had to transport some of the prisoners back to the Forgotten realm. Loki had ended up connecting the Forgotten realm to the rainbow bridge. If nothing else, than to take pressure off himself for being the only one able to transport people to the realm. Loki also finally returned the Casket of the Jotunns to the Vault. He was reluctant and even Thor said he would be in the right to at least keep that as his own. But ultimately, Loki returned it.

During the feast, Thor and Loki danced with each other and genuinely enjoyed themselves. They had a bet going of how often Amora would try to cut in between them (which Thor ended up losing). Tyr had almost gotten his hand bitten off by Fenrir when he tried pulling Loki off Thor, after catching them making out behind a tapestry. Brunhilde had monopolized Loki for a while when she learned he could instantly cool drinks. However, Thor had eventually rescued Loki from becoming her personal drink cooler. Overall, the two spent the majority of the night together, dancing, kissing, laughing, and drinking.

So caught up in the joy of the feast and each other, they had forgotten Odin. Who had only learned of their relationship when he saw them kiss each other so casually. However, the King did not react. He simply acknowledged that Thor and Loki were sleeping with each other. Thor had only ever been serious with a lover once in his immortal life. And so Odin brushed their dalliance off as just that, a dalliance. A brief fling between young gods. 

Time flies by for an immortal, centuries passing in a blink, and the only way they chose to track it was by the length of Thor and Loki’s hair. Hair which had abruptly been cut so short was now long again. Not the lengths they once were, but Thor’s and Loki’s were just to their shoulders. Marking that decades upon decades had passed. 

And still they were together. 

The Solar Eclipse would be happening soon and so all of Asgard was getting ready with decorations and feast preparations. Thor and Loki were assisting Frigga in the Main Hall when she ran out to go take care of some things. 

“May I ask a favor of you Loki?” Thor asked as he helped pull a tapestry taunt. 

“Depends.” 

Thor rolled his eyes at the answer, but continued in a serious tone. “Try not to be offended at any jests made during the celebration.” Thor looked earnest as he continued. “You know they will mean it as a jest. But if it’s too much, simply tell them or call for me.” 

“Call for you?” Loki quirked an eyebrow. “I don’t assume you will be farther than an arm’s reach.” Loki smirked but Thor’s face was still serious. 

“I just wish to make sure you know, some may bring up what occurred last Solar Eclipse.” 

The horned god rolled his eyes. “I know what to expect Thor.” Loki then wrapped his arms around the blonde’s neck. “But look at you trying to protect me.” 

Thor immediately claimed his lips as he wrapped one arm around the raven’s waist. Breaking the kiss, Thor pulled away when Loki tried to pull him in again. 

“There is something else I wish to discuss.” Thor looked serious again

“Oh?”

“Aye….” Thor seemed to steel his nerves and that worried Loki. “We are lovers but would you be opposed to being,” The blonde took a deep breath as he held Loki’s gaze “more than that eventually?” 

“Marriage.” Loki breathed in a revered tone. “...We never discussed that.” 

“No, that’s why I’d like to now.” 

“You want us to get engaged now?!” Loki’s tone seemed panicked so Thor quickly responded.

“I’d like us to discuss the option of becoming engaged. Eventually!” Thor added. “It has only been a few decades and I am no master at relationships.” 

“That’s for sure.” Loki quipped, earning a glare.

“And so I wished to know your thoughts.” Thor continued after giving Loki a light glare at his quip. 

Loki suddenly blushed as he thought it over. Thor tied to him for all eternity. Never worrying over anyone trying to steal him (which some have tried). Never having to question if Thor would tire of him someday (which did plague his mind, not that he’d admit it). Thor would willingly be tied to him for all eternity, and he to Thor.

“I am not opposed to the idea.” He eventually said, trying to fight the blush off his face the entire time. 

“Neither am I.” Thor smiled then pulled Loki in for multiple chaste kisses. 

Before they could go further a voice interrupted them. “Are the decorations complete?”

Odin stood in the doorway, appearing to have just entered. His expression was not a good one. And it caused Loki to tighten his grip on Thor as the blonde laughed. 

“Just about Father. “ Thor then patted Loki’s back. “We just have to go grab some materials.” 

Loki quirked an eyebrow to which Thor gave him a wink. Smirking Loki agreed.

“Yes we just have to take care of something.” Loki flung out a hand to create a portal.

Thor laughed. “He means grab some things.” 

And then they were gone. Both men tumbled into Thor’s bed with a laugh then began to rid themselves of their clothing. They didn’t return to the Main Hall. 

During the Solar Eclipse Festival all was well. Everyone was in good spirits. Sif and Volstagg had thrown some jests about not starting a war this time at Loki. But Loki took their jests in stride. Most Asgardians treated him with respect, or at least didn’t sneer at him openly and those who did he relished in. For he had Thor at his side and all was well. 

Finally, Odin banged his mighty spear and all quieted as they turned to him. As Odin began his speech, Thor pulled Loki closer to where Odin and their mother stood in front of their thrones. Odin then called out a few immortals' names and began granting them their godhood status. He’d call each immortal forward one by one, announce what their godly title would be then bang his spear and make it so. After each one was granted their title the crowd would clap and shout encouragements. 

Thor weaved his and Loki’s fingers together and smiled at his lover. Loki returned his smile and for that moment everything seemed perfect. 

“Loki, please step forward.” Odin boomed.

Frigga immediately gave her husband a confused look, and the crowd made sounds of confusion. Thor and Loki had immediately whipped their heads towards Odin who only stared impassive back, his eye concentrating on Loki. Odin then inclined his head to where the others had previously stood to be granted their godly title. Loki glanced from Odin to Frigga and Thor, both of which looked just as confused. 

“Father-” Thor began but Odin only banged gungnir again. 

“Step forward Loki.” He ordered.

Loki straightened his back then marched to where he was directed, glaring at Odin once there. For a moment all was silent, except for the crowds confused musings. 

“Loki, you are granted the exclusive title god of the Dead.” Odin quickly banged his spear making it so, ignoring the sounds of shock and anguish from his wife and son. Loki’s mouth had fallen open in shock as he felt the title practically fall on top of him. 

“NO!” Thor had cried while Frigga had only taken a firm grip of Odin’s arm, too late to halt gungnir. Loki, meanwhile, still hadn’t recovered from his shock. 

Neither had the crowd as they were in a roar of confusion and conversation. Odin had all but banished Loki. God of the Dead meant they had to live in Hel and tend to the dead. An endless job in a realm so different from Asgard. So far the immortals had taken turns going to Hel and checking to ensure shades at least made it into the realm but that was the extent of it. To live there and actually care for the dead; the Asgardians couldn’t fathom the thought. And now Odin had just given that burden to Loki, who he had raised as a son, who was the last Jotunn, who perhaps did have as much claim to the throne as he said, if Odin was willing to send him so far (bury him). 

As if sensing this Odin began speaking again. “I do not do this lightly. But you raised an army against Asgard and our people.” A few in the crowd shouted variations of agreement as Thor stormed up to his father.

“He was being controlled and you know it!” Thor screamed. 

“Odin stop this!” Frigga demanded. 

“It is already done!” He snapped at both of them. He then turned to the still stunned Jotunn. “You wished to rule and now you can. You have a whole realm at your disposal.”

The night devolved into chaos. The crowd was in an uproar of debate over what had happened last Solar Eclipse and Loki’s amends and guilt. Thor’s anger had summoned a massive thunderstorm which shook the palace. Loki had turned blue and red eyed in his anger at what Odin had done to him. Ice covering the area around him and dropping the temperature of the room. And Frigga was livid, her fury being unleashed in wave upon wave of words. Eventually the royals left to a private room where they all proceeded to yell at each other. 

Namely, Frigga, Thor, and Loki were yelling at Odin who had yelled back, defending himself. 

“Actions have consequences!” He screamed. 

“He wasn’t in control of those actions!” Frigga fired at her husband.

“Was you stabbing him not enough?!” Thor roared. 

“You have NO RIGHT to say that to me!” Loki screeched as he stomped over to the man he once called Father. “You took everything from me and have paid no price! Your actions had no consequence!” 

“Yes they did.” Odin said solemnly but Loki only snarled at him. 

“Undo this now!” Frigga demanded as she came between Loki and Odin. “Odin, fix this and undo it.”

Thor meanwhile had wrapped Loki in his arms and glared at his father. Odin passed a look over them and from his look everything clicked into place for Loki. 

“This is to separate us.” Loki breathed. 

Everyone turned to give Loki their full attention as he further explained. “You want Thor to forget about me. You want everyone to forget about me. About what I know, what I revealed...the truth.”

“It is not the truth.” Odin said immediately and Loki gave a malicious smile. 

“That’s it isn’t it?!” Loki pulled himself out of Thor’s arms only to grab the blonde’s hand. “You found out about Thor and I and it angered you that I hold Thor’s gaze.” Odin shook his head in the negative but Loki continued. “Then tonight with everyone talking about what I said last eclipse it scared you. Is that it?!” Loki asked in a crazed tone. “Are you scared Odin?! Scared your people may believe the actual truth and not the one you have made up?!” 

“It is to punish you!” Odin yelled. “I have given you everything! Treated you like a son! Given you everything you ever wished for! And you accuse me of regicide! I try reasoning with you but it’s for naught!” Odin screamed again. “You have always rebelled against me but to lead an actual rebellion deserves punishment! You are the god of the Dead and Mischief now! So you must go to Hel and fulfill your role. Perhaps that will teach you to reflect on your actions and the consequences they have.”

Frigga and Thor looked as if they had more to say but Loki beat them to it. 

“Then I demand a send off.” 

“Loki!” Thor tried but the raven only patted his shoulder.

“There’s nothing for it Thor.” Loki glared at Odin. “He’ll never change…. Plus, he couldn’t undo it if he tried. Only True Rulers can, and I believe he knows the cosmos won’t side with him.” Odin stiffened at the jab but said nothing, not giving in to Loki’s baiting. 

“We’ll do a send off.” Frigga said in a conflicted tone. 

Loki then nodded and briskly stomped out of the room, Thor following him. In Loki’s room Loki screamed and raged while Thor simply stood by, a comforting presence. The blonde knew Loki needed this time to rage. His own rage was fueling the monstrous storm that still waged outside. 

Eventually Loki collapsed into his arms. There were no tears, only exhausted puffs of breath. Hiding himself in Thor’s neck Loki confessed.

“I can’t marry you Thor.” 

“Yes you can!” Thor immediately rebutted. “This separation means nothing! I will visit you often, I will come to you whenever I can!” 

“NO!” Loki squeezed the blonde to get him to stop talking. “I...I don’t want to be tied to **him**! And marriage to you would…” Thor felt his own heart ache as Loki confessed. “I can’t be tied to him!” 

Thor swallowed heavily, and quickly tried his best to suppress the tears that wanted to come forward. He hid his face in Loki’s neck as he and Loki squeezed each other tighter. 

“I’m so-”

“NO!” 

Thor gasped then pulled away and grabbed the sides of Loki’s face. His red eyes now filled with tears of sadness, anger, and frustration. 

“No Loki! Don’t apologize.” He leaned their foreheads together. “I understand.” 

“I love you.” The Jotunn said shakily.

They just breathed with each other for a time before Loki surged forward and kissed him. They then tumbled into bed together. 

“It’s not marriage, but let’s make a promise.” Thor said after they had both calmed down. 

“A promise?” 

“Aye!” Thor smiled then sat up and pulled Loki to sit up as well. “I Thor, promise with everything in me that I will never love anyone but you Loki. I will never sleep or have encounters of any kind with any but you. My love and body belongs to only one creature and that is you Loki. I love you and will continue to love you for all eternity.” 

Loki tried to wipe the smile from his face but couldn’t. He then huffed a delighted laugh “That sounds like wedding vows.” 

“Nay, it’s a promise.” Thor laughed.

Loki shook his head but then looked at Thor. “Then I Loki, last son of the Jotunn royal line, and the only living Jotunn promise the same. I will never love anyone but you and will never stray from you. My love and body belongs to only one creature and that is you Thor.” Thor smiled and placed a quick peck on the raven’s lips. “Wait I’m not finished.” He batted the blonde away. “I love you and will continue to love you for all eternity, you oaf.” 

“Good!” 

“Great!” Loki then launched himself at the blonde and sealed their lips again as they went for another round. 

Later, Frigga had consulted Loki on what he wanted for his send off. She seemed so sad and haggard that Loki tried his best to cheer his Mother up. He couldn't leave her upset, he loved her too much. It was for naught, but not for a lack of trying. Though she did laugh when Loki told her what he wanted to do. 

The next day was Loki’s send off. Per Loki’s instructions, the rainbow bridge was lined by all the Asgardians. Odin and Frigga stood at the very end with Thor. Thor had wanted to walk with Loki but Loki had told him to wait with Mother. Thor had only relented after Loki agreed to let him travel with the Jotunn to Hel. 

First Loki’s pets made their way down the bridge, Fenrir and Jörmungandr keeping pace with each other. And following behind them was Loki astride Sleipnir. 

Everyone gasped in shock and astonishment. Odin looked floored as Thor looked absolutely delighted. Frigga had a knowing smile on her face as Loki had told her he was going to do this. 

“Sleipnir is a horse only a King can ride” the crowd muttered as Loki rode with grace and ease. 

Feeling victorious at the uproar he was causing Loki had Sleipnir perform a few tricks; such as a twirl, leg up, and rearing. He stopped in front of Odin and dismounted. Giving Odin a look of victory Loki turned back to Sleipnir and bowed in thanks. To Loki’s shock (though he covered it quickly), Sleipnir bowed back. That sent the crowd into more of an uproar and Loki felt very victorious indeed. Smirking at Odin, Loki walked over to his Mother and gave her a firm hug. He then took Thor’s hand and together they traveled to Hel. 

Thor had been great, he practically lived in Hel with Loki. It was to the point Asgard had to send minions to tell Thor to shepherd storms as he had not left Loki’s side. Thor and him had cleaned Hel up to the point that it at least functioned which was a vast improvement from when they arrived. However, Loki was still bitter about being stuck in Hel and thus didn’t try to improve it anymore than functional. 

But as time passed wounds healed. 

Not to say Loki wasn’t still angry at Odin for essentially shoving him into Hel but he saw the reasoning behind it. Loki had forced his hand. He should have known Odin would try something. He supposed he should be happy Odin only “banished” him. 

However, his anger reignited when Odin dubbed Thor the protector of living mortals. Loki had raged how this was meant to keep them even more apart, as now Thor had to not only shepherd storms but look after the weak mortals. But Thor had said this was actually the council's decision. Also this was something he had known he would eventually have to undertake as the future ruler of the cosmos. Things had escalated from there.

And it ended with them tumbling into bed for a round (or four) of angry sex. While cuddling with Thor’s sleeping and exhausted form, Loki had deduced that Odin had done this on purpose. Odin had known this would cause an issue between Thor and him. Gritting his teeth Loki cursed the old god. 

Odin had undoubtedly planned on this starting a fight and causing a rift between them. Having the council “make the decision”, as if Odin didn’t have absolute control over his council. Yet, Thor would take it at face value, and Odin knew that. But Loki was too clever to fall for such an easy trap. Loki would not be outmaneuvered by the old fool. They would move past this. 

Once Thor awoke they exchanged apologies and forgave each other. Thor said how he meant no offense and was simply ready to accept more leadership responsibilities. However, he never meant to shove it in Loki’s face. Loki had apologized (in his own way) for jumping too far ahead instead of living in the now, and not thinking of what this meant to Thor and only thinking what it meant for him. They talked more till both had enough talking; to cement their forgiveness they decided to break in one of their new bed toys. 

However, due to Thor’s new title he could no longer live in Hel with Loki. He still visited as often as possible, which was enough for Hel kept Loki quite busy. In trying to separate him and Thor, Odin only solidified their bond.

But Loki was still bitter about it. Mad at Odin for banishing him here. In a realm that needed constant attention, robbing Loki of his freedom. 

Loki was wallowing in these thoughts as he walked along a path in Hel but jolted to a stop when a blur of red and black barreled past him. When the blur eventually rolled to a stop it revealed itself to be Tony and Rhodey, both looking very disheveled and battered. Both males groaned as the god gaped at them.

“What did you two do?” He asked incredulously. 

“Rhodey fell.” Tony wheezed.

“You lying-!” The centaur cringed in pain and stopped himself from jolting upright. “Tony was too close to the edge, didn’t listen and then fell!” 

Loki was already healing the child who gave him a cheeky smile. “It wasn’t that bad.” 

“It looks bad.” Loki said at the same time Rhodey shouted.

“It was bad! I think I twisted my wrist!”

The child and centaur then bickered back and forth as Loki sighed and healed them both. He then waited the appropriate amount of time before he began berating them; Tony to be more careful and Rhodey to keep a better watch. 

That had resulted in Rhodey arguing Loki could do no better as Tony was a whirlwind. Tony seemed affronted at the accusation and then full on pouted when Loki agreed. Tony then launched his own rebuttals against the two of them and it divulged into chaos.

Beautiful and freeing chaos.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. Say it with me everyone: Odin’s an asshole! That’s the moral of the story lol When your strategy to life is my way or hide/kill all evidence to the contrary, you become an asshole. 
> 
> **And there we go! This prequel was so fun to write! I hope you guys enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it! :D**


	12. Memes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here's some meme's I thought of and created while writing this prequel!

Thank you everyone for your love! I'm so glad you liked this fic! 

It's was a blast writing it so I hope you all enjoyed reading it! :D

And if you haven't already I suggest reading the other fics in this series cause I also enjoyed writing them so hopefully you'll enjoy reading them :3

\--

**The Gospel Truth memes**

In reference to Chapter 2 Faithful Pets: the Odin bros protect the best boy!  


In reference to Chapter 7 World’s First Dish was Wrong: Odin is an asshole.  


A picture of the Hel crew, Tony, Rhodey and Loki  



End file.
